Anyone overcome a fruit and veg phobia as an adult?

[SinkGirl]

Please don’t make fun of me, this is already embarrassing enough. I’m 36 years old and a have a phobia of fruit and veg stemming from abusive treatment as a child which I don’t I want to go into specifically, but it has caused some trauma and I get an overwhelming physical reaction to even thinking about eating some foods.

There are a few of each I can eat, so I eat plenty of those, and try to keep healthy. I try not to eat junk food buy obviously I need these things in my diet.

I have two year old boys and from the outset I’ve done my utmost to give them a varied diet - even preparing fruit and veg for them was hard at first but they eat a wide variety now. I can now handle and cook them without gagging, which is a step forward for me. To them, a treat is a banana, raw carrot or a portion of peas so I feel I’m doing well with them at least.

At the moment we don’t eat the same meals anyway due to conflicting allergies that would make preparing one meal very difficult and limited, but at some point they’re going to understand that I’m not eating what they’re eating. I really want to fix this, it’s been so difficult and embarrassing when eating out or in other people’s houses etc.

Has anyone been through this? I’m mortified to have to bring it up with a doctor, it’s so embarrassing. I know some people will think I should just eat a bit and do it, but if I could do that then I wouldn’t be asking!

I don't have any experience with this but does it help if someone else cooks and then blends vegetables in a sauce or soup? Or is it the idea or taste as well that triggers you?

It’s the flavour and (more so) the texture - so I can eat passata with no problem (I like it) but not tomatoes. I made the boys a tomato and veg sauce and blitzed it to death - I managed to taste a tiny bit but the grainy texture freaked me out. I wouldn’t be able to eat any quantity of it, although if I used it to make a bolognese or something I could probably manage.

I know it sounds absolutely ridiculous by the way!

It is not ridiculous. I know of someone else who has this phobia for similar reasons. I'm sorry I don't know how to overcome it though, other than trying to get some counselling about the original issues that caused the problem

It’s not ridiculous- you said this was as a result of your childhood. So I’m guessing some pretty shitty things happened to you as a kid....

I think you’ll need to tackle those especially if the issues manifest in other ways later on.

I have learned to tolerate some veg in my 30s, it was the texture that put me off mainly, but the taste didn't help! Sensory issues with food are quite common of their own accord even without other negative associations.

DS1 had food allergies which restricted where we could eat on holiday, so lots of Morrisons Cafe and McDonalds. I was EBFing 4m old DS2, so he was taking a lot of nutrition from me. On the final day we were in a different cafe, and I was served some brocolli and despite brocolli having been one of the top offensive veg on my list, it suddenly seemed appealing and I ate it. I must have been deficient in something! I have no love for it, but if I chew it with something like potato I can eat it, and have tried a few other types since then.

How do you find preparing the trigger foods? Are you getting used to handling them? I can eat more if it's deguised.

Councelling may help with the emotions attached to particular foods.

I think you should be SO proud of yourself. Not only have you managed to tackle your phobia well enough to be able to eat healthy diet, but you have brought your children up loving veg and fruit, despite how hard it was for you to even handle them.

You should be measuring yourself against where you started, not against the majority of the population - because you need to see how far you have come, and how much you have achieved.

You are amazing.

Thanks everyone, really appreciate you being so kind.

I’ve had counselling and have dealt well with my childhood I think, but it’s like this issue has morphed info a monster of its own. It is mostly the texture but if it were just that I’d be able to eat it blended and I can’t. I have tried so hard not to let it impact my children and am glad I’ve had time as they’ve become more aware to get used to it, but I’m worried that will all be undone when they realise I don’t eat them. Maybe I need to try hypnosis or something.

This is not ridiculous, phobias can be attached to ANYTHING. I knew someone who was terrified of tomatoes because the slimy innards were a texture issue and made her feel sick.

From what I understand, CBT can be helpful for this.

I would really recommend a book called First Bite:How we learn to eat by Bee Wilson, which is about how tastes are shaped and how adaptable they can be, even for adults.

You sound like you've come through a lot, and I really admire your strength and your determination to protect your kids. Good luck.

There are a few things I can't eat due to childhood trauma. Like you said; the texture and somehow, just it's presence. I can't hide the taste.

I've had a lot of counselling and none has helped so I now just eat other things, and explain to the kids in a way that works for their age - "Mummy is having X instead, as she needs more iron" or something. As long as you don't say it's horrible or you dislike it, I reckon you'll be fine.

Years ago there was the TV series the house of tiny tearaways where psychologist Tanya Byron dealt with children with food phobias.
I would add a few bits on to what she did.
Learn some relaxation techniques first.
Then just look at what you want to try to eat.
Your anxiety levels will rise. Do relaxation techniques to bring levels down - they will fall if you just wait and sit it out anyway.
Touch the food with fingers.
Relax and wait until anxiety drops.
Smell it
Relax and wait until anxiety drops
Kiss it
Relax and wait until anxiety drops
You get the rinse and repeat idea.
Then lick it, put it on tongue, close it in your mouth, chew, swallow
All the while when anxiety levels rise, practice relaxation techniques until anxiety levels fall.
I know none of this will be easy, and it will take time.
You are looking at doing graduated exposure here.
Keep thinking logically - you are the adult now, and you know these things are actually healthy to eat.
Turning away from things that cause anxiety response increases anxiety next time you try to approach them.
Well done for trying to deal with this.

It is not ridiculous and I completely sympathise, I posted something very similar about 10 years ago on here funnily enough as the only veg I could eat at the time was sweetcorn, peas and very well cooked carrots (peas and carrots I only started being to cope with a couple of years before that, sweetcorn was the only veg I could eat as a child, along with thin slices of apples and pears). It took 2-3 years to get to about 10 vegetables and after that it happened a lot more quickly, still working on it tbh but I'm able to eat loads of veg now and a bit more fruit.

I took it very slowly, started by blending veg into sauces like you would a child, like you said, I could eat it in a bolognese sauce but not on its own. Then started using half of a very very finely chopped onion to make a basic tomato sauce (which I used to make from tomato puree and water, these days I blend a tin of tomatoes, tomatoes are still something I struggle with!) and extended that with other veg like mushrooms over time with lots of quorn mince to hide it. I made chunks bigger over time. I relied heavily on the few things I could eat and started with things that could be cooked until they were almost mush, so root veg, and would drown them in cheese sauce or ketchup or anything I had to use if I had to. Basically, any way of getting it in until I got used to that, then trying it without sauce or cooked differently. It's really tedious but you'll get there. Stick to things you like now and only try one thing at a time. Don't get upset if you can't deal with one, just shrug it off and add it to the bottom of the list for another day.

Thank you so much everyone - I was expecting some unpleasant responses and I really appreciate you all being so kind.

This is all so helpful, thank you so much. I know I need to deal with it for their sake but for mine as well. I will try :) At least I can handle and cook these things now which I could never do before so that’s a good start.

It is not just a good start - it is huge. Give yourself credit!

You should be proud of yourself. I have had really bad sensory issues with food all my life and even now, in my 30's, would live of chicken nuggets and chips if allowed. When people day "oh just try it" they don't understand the level of the phobia. Becuase that's what it is. I can now tolerate more foods but eating out and eating food prepared in a different way is still massively stressful. I did an online hypnotherapy session with Dr Felix Econmakis who was on the show freaky eaters on BBC3. I was very sceptical, especially doing a pre recorded hypno session but minutes after the video finishing I went into the kitchen and ate strawberries and grapes. I loved the grapes but not the strawberries and it was OK, the world didn't end becuase I ate some food I didn't like and since then I can try new food, not enjoy it all the time, and not much at a time but its still progress. I also have two kids and they love their fruit and vegetables (over and above chocolate which makes me question if they are really mine ).
I love what you wrote about being proud of yourself STDG it's nice to know other people can see the reasons to be proud.
Good luck in the future and you are amazing already!

So impressed by the stories of success on this thread - I’ve never heard of an adult overcoming this before but I know it’s not talked about much. A phobia of spiders or heights is socially acceptable but anyone who hears I don’t eat these foods tends to think I’m childish, picky, over-dramatic - I go out of my way to avoid eating at other people’s houses as I find it so embarrassing and don’t want to be rude.

It’s great to know I could possibly change this still - going to look into all the things you mention.