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Original poster

Do you think you’ll relocate when you retire or when DC leave home?

47 replies

CushieButterfield · 10/02/2019 12:09

We are debating whether to move house in the next year or two (for secondary school transition). I’d be really sad to leave where we are, we have good friends and feel part of the community. But I don’t think this is where I want to end up as I get older - not enough amenities, need to drive places. So if we can work out what we want from our location when we’re older, then we can factor that in to this next move. We are probably about 10 years off retiring so this is forward planning! But it takes me a few years before I feel at home in a new place.

So if you think about moving for post children / retirement, where would you go, what would you want around you?

OP posts:
Dowser · 10/02/2019 13:00

I’ve lived in my home town all my life apart from my stint in a university town.
My children and grandchildren are all here so not going anywhere in a hurry

On retirement we bought a static caravan in a beautiful location an hours drive away
We have the best of both worlds now.
Beaches where we live and glorious countryside to retreat to

Would that work for you

fussychica · 10/02/2019 13:03

We returned from Spain about 8 years ago when DS when to university in the UK. By accident, a friend of a relative had a beautiful house for rent, we landed up in West Wilts. Its an area we didnt know, had no links with and didn't intend to stay in. Needless to say we are still here having bought a place 7 years ago.
We are always thinking about moving closer to the coast as we miss it but most places we fancy are quite a bit more expensive than here which makes it more difficult.

Our current place is pretty future proofed. Detached bungalow, easily managed but interesting garden, and probably most important, walking distance to the town, station and park. If we couldn't drive or walk far it wouldn't cost an arm and a leg to get a taxi to the town or station for onward travel to 2 lovely cities. Fortunately, we also have great neighbours, which could change, but being detached would hopefully keep any negative impact of change to a minimum.
We definitely wouldn't move anywhere where we couldn't walk to the shops at our age as I know from experience how important that was to my dad in his later years, giving him independence when he could not longer drive but was still fit enough to walk a reasonable distance. A country cottage sounds lovely but it wouldn't be for me!

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 10/02/2019 13:04

Youngest dc has just left for uni and we have two others at uni.

We’re not rushing a move. We’ll stay here for the next 6/8 years as they’ll all be home in the holidays,,and may need to live back at home if they can’t find a job/find a job near us.

After that we’ll see where they all are in the world and maybe move closer to one, or in the middle of them all. Or for another reason!

At the moment we think our young adult dc might need to live at home so we’re keeping our family home with loads of space.

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 10/02/2019 13:08

I like to plan though, and think about it a lot! We’re about 10 years from retirement too.

Adversecamber22 · 10/02/2019 13:23

Both DH and myself have relocated when younger, myself twice and DH about four times, all for work and studying purposes.

I really want to stay where we live now as have a nice network of friends of which most are from this area and have never left. Plus it’s a cheap area.

Our plan is to stay here, DH will retire a couple of years early. He is younger than me so in about 15 years time. He wants to follow the English cricket team on tour which I’m totally down for. He also wants To sail round the carribean which I am not down for as I bloody hate sailing which is hilarious as I grew up five mins from the sea whereas he is from a landlocked county. His sister loves sailing so I have said he can go and do that with her for a couple of months and I’m going to traverse the canal system with my sister on a barge.

Original poster
CushieButterfield · 10/02/2019 14:10

Interesting to read others’ plans. I suppose the reason why it’s hard to imagine where we should live is because we don’t have a clear idea of what we want to be doing with ourselves! Need to dream a bit more! I think the option to dabble in freelance work would be good, so reasonable train access would help for that. I don’t want to be isolated, I think a town feels about the right size of place for us.

Dowser we have a towing caravan at the moment, and we have thought about siting it at some point, so it’s true that where we end up living doesn’t have to fill every need for us, there are options.

OP posts:
DorothyZbornak · 10/02/2019 15:19

I would relocate in the morning, but DH wouldn't budge. Children aren't the problem. It's his bloody mother! Hmm

PenguinPandas · 10/02/2019 15:26

We have just moved pre secondary to an area can see us retiring in. For us wanted a very safe area, a village / town with school, shop, doctors etc and other houses nearby. We wanted a picture postcard type house and village which we have, downside is job opportunities are more limited here.

YeOldeTrout · 10/02/2019 15:27

yes. I want to live in the little bad city again.

PostNotInHaste · 10/02/2019 15:32

Lots of discussion about this as just over 3 years till youngest finishes school. We’re just not sure what we want to be at the moment and are now thinking we might go abroad to be near some of my family which I never thought we’d say. DD will be emigratin* so k8n£ of depends what DS does. Things have changed so much for us the last few years and keep doing so.

megletthesecond · 10/02/2019 15:34

I couldn't bare living in this house in old age. I'd like to stay living in the same county though.

Finfintytint · 10/02/2019 15:46

We moved from the South East to Mid Wales when DS was 21. He had no desire to come with us and rents happily with his girlfriend. We wanted a more simple lifestyle.
DH works still and I retired but soon got bored and do some part time work now.

Original poster
CushieButterfield · 10/02/2019 18:45

PenguinPandas that’s what we’re thinking of - make the move now for secondaries, be part of the community with kids in tow, but in a place that we’d then want to stay. That might not work if we wanted rural retirement idyll, as that doesn’t work for teens, but as we’re looking at moving to where there’s more going on, we should be able to cover both.

OP posts:
SheepyFun · 10/02/2019 18:51

Be aware that the rural retirement idyll becomes a prison when you get more elderly - for example if you can no longer drive. A colleague's MIL moved right into the centre of the city where we live for the last 7 or so years of her life, and she found it fantastic - she could walk (less than 5 minutes) to the shops, to church, to the theatre etc. She had been increasingly isolated prior to that. So something to consider (much) further down the line..

PenguinPandas · 10/02/2019 19:08

We are quite rural now and its fine for teens but you do need to choose carefully. We are in a village and I don't drive but within the village there's the school, a supermarket, the doctors, gym, tennis courts, a zoo, several pubs by the river, RAF cadets and army cadets, youth club, languages lessons, church, after school clubs at school each night, village events like fireworks, playground and village green. Both the kids love it and much prefer it to where we were before. The downside I find for me is the lack of good employment opportunities, there are for husband as he's in a specialist field. It's super friendly as well - we've been invited to three parties so far this year in the village and kids a few more despite being new here.

I wouldn't do a village with nothing in, we are also 30 mins from a big city but do need to drive for that.

theworldistoosmall · 10/02/2019 19:11

Yes when the youngest leaves, I'm downsizing.

3out · 10/02/2019 19:14

Once we move in to our new house I don’t plan on ever moving ever again. In all likelihood the children will live with us well into adulthood. There are stairs, but we could relocate to the ground floor when we are no longer able to manage the stairs.

duckling84 · 10/02/2019 19:21

Yes, when all are grown up (5dc she 15-3) we will move "up north". living in the south east (we were both born here), its dh's dream to own a home but there is no way we can afford a home down here (both low income), for our size family, giving us the work-life balance we currently enjoy. Our only option would be to move to a more affordable part of the country

scaryteacher · 10/02/2019 19:24

Dh retires in December and we are moving back to the UK. We have had our house there almost 27 years, and I am looking forward to moving back. We plan to live there for about 10 years and then make a decision before dh hits 70 as to where we ultimately want to be.

TonTonMacoute · 10/02/2019 19:25

We are thinking but not making any definite plans. We have been living the rural idyll since before DS was born, and although he has just gone off to university, we won't be going anywhere because we have two parents left, who live locally, so we need to stay put for a while.

Funnily it was when we were planning what work we were going to have done to our house that made us think about where we wanted to end up. It is tempting to spend loads and make it amazing, but we would never get that money back when we sold it, so it will just be tiddling.

I think it will be incredibly unlikely that DS would ever come back here to live and work, there are simply no good, well paid jobs/careers in this part of the world, and I think that we will want to move nearer to him when he is settled, maybe in ten years time we haven't told him.

Meantime we are quite happy here.

TonTonMacoute · 10/02/2019 19:26

Waves at scaryteacher!

OhTheRoses · 10/02/2019 19:27

We have. DC unplugged from education. 10 miles from SW London. Orchard at bottom of garden then fields. So near and yet so far.

OhTheRoses · 10/02/2019 19:28

I also imagine myself buying a one bed flat near Sloane Sq when I am very old and alone x

Hoppinggreen · 10/02/2019 19:30

We are off to Spain
We own a property there already but that’s near the beach so we will keep that as a Holiday let ( and for dc to stay in) and buy a smaller flat in the Town, which is a busy market/fishing town so not touristy
I speak good Spanish and DH is learning, plus he has dual nationality so will still be an EU citizen if that’s an issue.

Boxlikeahare · 10/02/2019 19:31

We moved at the start of secondary school, previously down a farm track without any neighbours for a mile. In catchment and on the school bus route (6 miles to school).

Moved into town and DD walks to school, I walk to work. Chose a really nice spot just on the edge of town, less than a mile to school and work. Really quiet on a dead end road with half a dozen houses.

We both love it (H is in the process of leaving so it will just be the two of us) but we miss the countryside, even though where we live is very green and we can walk to a NT place in 20 minutes.

I think I will move when DD goes to Uni (well I presume that she will go to Uni at this stage).

I will move (within 20 miles I imagine) to a village on a bus route although rural buses are disappearing by the month in my county.

I will downsize (currently four beds). It would be good for me financially too as houses in the town are at a premium because of the fantastic secondary school.

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