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YAY!!!!!! Best compliments EVER!!!!!!!

9 replies

MissLanesAmericanCousin · 10/02/2019 03:56

Let me preface this by saying, that I haven't been in the best of moods as of late. Not cranky. But feeling a bit my age.
I'm 45 and my hair is in dire need of a cut and a colour. Especially, colour, because my grays are coming out in full force. I feel more Minnie Pearl right now than JoBeth Williams in Poltergeist. And, I am so over having to use that god awful brunette coloured spray to hide it!
I take care of my skin religiously and drink copious amounts of water. I don't smoke and I never drink. However, I don't have the twenty year old skin of my youth, so my 5 minutes of slapping it all together, skincare and make up is more like 45 minutes then 5.

I have always been into fashion, but I feel at my age, I need to go that extra mile, although there are times I just put on a t -shirt, pair of jeans and leather jacket and call it a day.

Today, however was a "date day". We went antiquing and found a beautiful sterling Old Pawn coral squash blossom necklace and bracelet set that I'll be getting for my birthday this year. We also went to the swap meet (loosely translated to a car boot sale in the UK) and I was able to find a beautiful sampler from the 1800's for 6.00 USD/ 4.63 Pounds! So that was quite exciting! We had our sonora hot dogs, listened to music and enjoyed looking at the various tables and although, a little chillier than I expected, it was a nice time had by all.

As I've said, been a little down in the mouth as of late, losing my therapist recently and I feel as if I'm going through some kind of mid life crisis for the last 6 months.

Anyway, a couple things happened today which were quite unexpected from strangers. My husband always makes me feel quite beautiful, which I'm very thankful for, but sometimes it's nice to hear it from a stranger.

The first antique store we went to, the woman there complimented me on my hair which was quite nice. I used to always get complimented on my hair, but I find as I've gotten older, it isn't nearly as full as it used to be, which I've struggled to come to terms with. So that was really nice to hear. Another sweet lady complemented me on my dress and style, saying, she liked how "put together" I looked! As I said thank you, I was doing backwards somersaults on the inside, believe me! Grin

After we got a bite to eat, we stopped off at a charity shop where I was looking at dresses and shawls. DH and I were sitting down, and I had made my choices on what to get, so he put the skip pile away. As I was situating myself, an older lady sat beside me and we struck up a conversation. We just talked about fabric, and sewing and gardening and her little dog. It was quite pleasant and she was quite a delightful lady.We also talked about our families and her husband had sadly passed away. DH came back and I introduced him to her, and she said he was quite handsome which made him blush. Which I thought adorable!
She told me how old she was, and I said, my mother is the same age. I then told her I was 45. She then took my arm stared me square in the face and said "I thought you were in your 20's!"

Now, I don't know if she has cataracts, drunk, or is in need of glasses or maybe is just a bad judge when it comes to age, or maybe she was just being friendly, but that comment put me on cloud nine! Grin

I hope this post doesn't come off as shallow or vain, but I just had to post it out into the void. I know beauty is only skin deep, blah, blah, blah, but it just felt so good to hear those things, especially since I've been feeling my age a little more than usual. Also, this is the first time I've been properly out in a couple of weeks and I normally just see DH, family and my best friend and a few neighbors, so it was nice to really get out.

I don't know where this is going but I just had a really good day today and I wanted to share it with my friends on MN! Smile

If you have anything that put you on cloud nine recently , please post below. I would love to hear your stories! Sorry about the novel! Blush

OP posts:
Deathraystare · 10/02/2019 07:05

Always nice to get compliments isn't it?

I used to do the "This old thing?" "Actually my hair needs a wash" but now I think when people pay you a compliment you should thank them.

I make a habit of telling a woman she looks good - kind of "passing on the niceness". I also complimented a man (friend of a friend) who had nice skin.

Skittlesandbeer · 10/02/2019 07:53

I agree that compliments in middle age (and beyond) are super boosting. I try to give out as many as I can (without embarrassing the kiddo too much!). You never know when your moment of interaction might be the one that makes the difference for a person.

This week I was texted by an older gentleman I know that I had ‘a beautiful smile’ and was a ‘very cultured woman’.

Made my year.

Glad you got a boost, OP, don’t worry about it being vain. It isn’t. Also, I think your writing style is fab Grin

PalindromicUser · 10/02/2019 08:16

That’s great OP. I completely agree about simply and sincerely saying thank you to compliments. And I consciously compliment people when I think of it, because it’s nice to hear. Makes me feel as good as the person I’m complimenting.

MissLanesAmericanCousin · 10/02/2019 18:52

Deathraystare, yes! It took me a long time to respond by saying "thank you" to a compliment because of the way my mother brought me up. I must always be modest and humble and not act like a "show off". That led me to always use self deprecating humor, which looking back on it, makes me sad. I also give compliments as often as possible, because it feels good to say it and you never know what kind of day they're having.

Skittlesandbeer Exactly! I couldn't agree more! As, you said, you never know if that small interaction between you, may mean the world to them. Words matter. Not to mention, you are teaching your children compassion and kindness by doing those things. To me, that's good parenting. And, good humaning. I know that's not a real word, but I guess, what I'm trying to say, is that you sound like a good egg and children learn from example. Thank you so much for the compliment about my writing. I used to write a lot, especially non fiction prose and poetry. My plan is to start writing poetry again this year. I think it's time.
You got such nice compliments btw! I bet he's right! Smile

PalindromicUser I agree completely! It does feel good, doesn't it! It's so much easier to be kind to someone than it is to be mean. I'm a firm believer that you get back what you put in.

Thank you all for such kind responses! You all sound like such good eggs! Here are some Flowers and a cup of Brew for all of you! Grin

OP posts:
MulticolourMophead · 10/02/2019 19:45

That sounds like you had a great confidence boost, and I recall from the other thread that you were a bit hesitant to go to the swap meet initially. Glad it turned out fine!

MissLanesAmericanCousin · 10/02/2019 20:17

MulticolourMophead , Thanks! Yes! Our car didn't get pelted this time! LOL! We had a wonderful time! Thank you for your response! In my eyes, words are so powerful, they can either make or break your day, And, yesterday I felt so good about myself and people were just so kind. And, as always my husband was so kind and thoughtful. OH! And you should see the jewelry set I chose for my anniversary gift! It is glorious!

Unfortunately, I can never share my good fortune with my mother because she gets very jealous and makes me feel like shit or insults it. My best friend isn't really into jewelry and the only person that would really like it would be my sister, but she lives an hour away, so I don't see her as often as I like. The rest are aquaintances and I would feel weird talking about stuff like that to them. I also don't have FB, Instagram or Tumblr or Flicker or whatever else is out there so it sucks to be excited about something and not be able to share my joy. DH has a best friend who has a girlfriend but she and I are like oil and water when it comes to fashion, or anything really. I wish I could show a pic of it, but some may think I'm boasting. :/

OP posts:
MilkItTilITurnItIntoCheese · 10/02/2019 20:30

A wise friend of mine has been trying to educate me to say thank you to compliments for years. It still feels very strange to do so but I am getting better!
Enjoy those moments and stash them away for a bad day.

MissLanesAmericanCousin · 11/02/2019 00:46

MilkItTilITurnItIntoCheese, yes, I agree! Your friend was very wise indeed! It took me a long time to say a simple 'thank you" too.

I think oftentimes, society doesn't allow us to feel proud or good about things that we feel were accidental, like beauty. However, I've also found that society makes it hard for us to show our pride or happiness even if they are things that are achievements like promotions, or things we've worked hard at. Society always makes us feel as if we should hide it or ignore it. If we don't then society as a whole accuses us of being smug, vain or arrogant. Even with external beauty, which is purely down to luck, should be seen as an achievement in middle age. It is hard to maintain ones looks. I have a very close family member and we share a lot of the same genes, and although she is only a few years older then me, she looks much much older. But that is because she does not use skincare, she smokes and drinks quite a bit.

It is a shame that we can't be noticeably happy about certain things. I think it's great when someone tells me that they bought a house or got promoted or lost weight or whatever it may be. Good for them, I say! They deserve their good fortune if they worked hard for it. But, alas, they're are just too many jealous people out there and of course religion (I was raised a Catholic) really tries to stamp out any kind of joy that comes from personal achievements. Thus, I'm a diluted Catholic now! I just stay for the incense. HA! Grin

OP posts:
MulticolourMophead · 11/02/2019 18:16

@MissLanesAmericanCousin Can you post a pic of the jewellery? I make costume jewellery sometimes (depending on my mood) and love looking at stuff.

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