Stillbirth in 1974

[Jenb2104]

My parents first baby was very sadly stillborn in 1974.
He was just taken away, my parents didn't get to see him, let alone hold him. They weren't given any information about what would happen to him. It seems it was the done thing back then.

They've always talked openly about him, remembered him on his birthday etc but only recently have mentioned that they would like to find out what happened to him.

I've offered to look into it for them but I'm not really sure where to start.

Are records even kept for that long? There was no birth or death certificate.

Has anyone got any experience of tracing similar information?

Thank you

I’m sorry to hear about your brother.

It might be worth your parents contacting their local SANDS group and asking for advice there. In mine there are several parents whose baby died decades ago, so they would probably be willing to share the best way of getting information. Also perhaps the PALS for the hospital or trust area that he died in.

I hope you and your parents are able to get some answers.

Usually, from a short period working in a hospital mortuary, babies were buried together in the local cemetery, the hospital chaplain performing the service. No marked place, but they were still given prayers. They would have been treated gently by the mortuary and funeral directors as well, each being carried by hand, wrapped in a blanket for the transfer to the vehicle. (made me well up when I saw a transfer because it was so gentle and respectful/loving).

Chaplains hold services every year for parents and their babies, too, no matter how long ago it was.

Sadly, your stillborn sibling was most likely disposed as medical waste. It's a horrifying thought but back then that was the reality. I don't think this knowledge will soothe your parents in any way. I think grief counseling would be very good for them.

This happened to my mum around the same time. Babies were buried together in a communal grave.

She never got to hold the baby either.

Try contacting the local cemetery, my Nan had a stillborn sibling in the 40’s and the cemetery had a reference to the burial. Cemeteries didn’t always record them back then, but some did so it’s worth a try. Look ups are often free.

I’m sorry for your family’s loss. SANDS may well be able to help. I hope you are able to find out something that brings them comfort.

I am so sorry for what your family went through back then. I have heard that back then it was normal for stillborn babies to simply be whisked away with the parents barely allowed to clap eyes on them even.

I think that was an awful way to treat people, but it was the done thing in those days. Thankfully things have moved on now.

I don't have any experience, and no idea how or even if records were kept by hospitals. Was it not compulsory to record stillbirths back then?

I do hope you and your parents can find some answers. I think that the way these things were handled by hospitals back then left a lot to be desired.

This happened to my auntie in the mid 1960's but they were able to take their child and have a proper funeral. Maybe its a regional thing. Whatever you find I hope its not too distressing for your family.

I am so sorry that your family went through this traumatic time. I had stillbirths in 1973 and 1974 and it is true that the babies were whisked away and never seen again. My husband had to register the stillbirths at the registry office and perhaps they may have information about where the baby was buried, or the undertaker who dealt with it. Similarly, the hospital where your baby was born may be able to help them.

My own babies were buried in the grave of a close relative and I think that some stillborn babies were placed in the coffin of someone who had recently died. That last part was often what people seemed to think at the time, but I’m not sure that was really true. I’m quite sure that stillborn babies were not disposed of as medical waste.

I Hope your parents get some some answers that gives them some comfort.🌺 it’s such a horrible experience that never leaves you.

Sorry, I should have said where your brother was born, not your baby.

If it was classed as a stillbirth rather than a miscarriage then your parents shoukd have had a stillbirth certificate. My understanding is that only parents can access this register for any copies of certificates.

My mum had her first baby in 1970. She lived 12 hrs. Only my dad and grandma ever saw her. She was buried on her own but her coffin went in a hearse under an adult coffin.
All I have to prove she was ever here are small square birth and death certificates. We had to contact the local cemetery to find out where she had been buried.

My son was stillborn in 2014, we had a small funeral (with cremation) however I known that any pre term or term stillbirths which means 27weeks onward, it depends of the hospital policy, unless post yer, & discussed beforehand it would go straight to hospital human waste

That's so sad.

A similar thing happened to my mum, I think in 1970. Her son wasn't stillborn but he died 10 hours after birth. She didn't get to see him, I think my Dad might have (my Dad is dead so I can't ask). She was never even told why he died.

I'd really like to know what caused his death. Things were so different back then. She wasn't offered any help after he died. In fact a HV visited her a couple of weeks after asking to see the baby . My mum was obviously devastated.

It was quite a long time before I was born so the details are hazy.

Speak to the hospital and SANDs

Ask what cemetery/crematorium they used back then and then contact the cemetery or crem directly.

I had a missed miscarriage in 2005 and I was able to earlier this year trace my baby’s ashes to a location and I went through the hospital to do so. The woman dealing with it was lovely and very sympathetic and even managed to get me a copy of the scan photo on file.

Sorry for yours and your parents loss