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I don’t know how to leave

8 replies

Lonelymummy34 · 09/02/2019 20:53

Been with my husband for over 5 years, married almost 2.. I need to leave! But I don’t know how I can. He owns the house. All in his name so I’ve no rights to it. And I couldn’t stay and him leave because his SO petty that he would make my life miserable. I can’t even tell him we are over until I know I am imminently leaving because he will be hell to live with! His proved that last night and today! Decided he didn’t want to ‘dad’ last night! And today his stayed in the spare room ALL day and not even acknowledged our 2 kids.
I’ve already applied to the local social housing, but I’m on the lowest band! Can can’t find a private house as I have no way of getting the deposit together. So I’m stuck.

OP posts:
justthecat · 09/02/2019 20:55

If you’re married and in the uk, half of that house is legally yours

Jackshouse · 09/02/2019 20:55

You need to see a solicitor but as you are married you do have a financial claim on the house.

Lonelymummy34 · 09/02/2019 20:55

Omg just realised that probably makes no sense!
I have a diagnosed mental health condition and he makes zero allowances for it when I’m having an episode. And when I’m good he really drags me down. All he ever wants is ‘bed fun’... But I am Asexual!

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Lonelymummy34 · 09/02/2019 20:57

i Don’t want the house. Or anything in it. I just want to not be here

OP posts:
Lonelymummy34 · 09/02/2019 20:58

Even if the mortgage and deeds are solely in his name? 🤔

OP posts:
justthecat · 09/02/2019 21:05

Yes you’re married it’s 50/50

callkiki · 09/02/2019 21:28

I had the same concern as the house was in husbands name only and he owned it before I met him. I went to Citizens Advice to find out my rights and was referred to Legal Aid. I was told my CA that I could register my home rights to protect my interest in the house and in the end, I ended up with 65% of the assets, including the majority of equity in the house because of each of our own earning potentials.

My Legal Aid solicitor registered my name to the property for me and it protected me as ex tried to refinance the house secretly to pull out all the equity and was stopped as I had to sign off on it before he could. Ex had no idea I was entitled to 50% plus of assets and had tried to get me to move out into a bed sit the same day I found out about his affair.

You need to find out what you are legally entitled to and what he can and can't do, such as changing the locks (neither can).

Start keeping a diary of what is going on such as threats, nasty comments, financial abuse or any other issues. I kept mine in my Yahoo email so he couldn't find it in the house.

Also, get copies of marriage license, any bank statements, find copies of income statements and pensions.

Change all your passwords to social media, bank accounts, phones, etc.

Lonelymummy34 · 10/02/2019 08:51

I’ve already changed all my passwords etc, but I have nothing to hide. I done some googling last night and read about registering about property interest.. But from what I read I have no holds over anything as I don’t contribute financially to any of the bills or anything. I just wish I could get money together to just leave and start again! I don’t want the house or to take anything from him. I just need to leave for my own sense of self you know?
Guess I should start by telling him in the first place that we are over 🙄 Altho I think it’s pretty obvious as we’ve not spoke in a while and his ‘living’ in the extension of the house while me and the kids are in the actual house.

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