I feel like a shit mum today

[Hoplittlebunnies]

I have two DS's, age 9 and 2.

Today I have:

• told the 9yo off when 2yo hit him (admittedly I told the 2yo off first and asked him to apologise, but the reason I told 9yo off is because 2yo had gone to give him a cuddle and he barked at him "GET DOWN" and thats why 2yo hit him, and I'm fed up of him talking to 2yo like a pet rather than a person, it's a regular occurrence despite the fact they get on brilliantly)
• told the 9yo for playing with his brothers etch-a-sketch, giving it to him, and then snatching it straight back off of him (He has spent all day playing with 2yo's toys, and the one time the 2yp wanted to play with one of his toys - just a toy car - he wouldn't let him. Again, fed up of him feeling entitled to all of his brothers stuff but never willing to share his own)
• told the 9yo off for putting a pair of jeans in the wash that were clean on today and he wore for a couple of hours. I asked him to show me where they were dirty and he couldn't. I reminded him of the several times this week I have told him he can wear jeans a few times unless they are dirty. So I made him go and put the washing on. He doesn't know how and all I told him was "put a scoop of powder in and turn it on" and he's been littering downstairs for 10 minutes now before unsure of what to do so I've gone and shown him obviously and gave him a cuddle.

He's usually very well behaved and so isn't used to getting told off so he's been throwing me dirty looks all day. I'm just fed up. He's got a calm demeanour whereas the 2yo is more of a livewire and I can already sense that people (including 9yo) are starting to label them as the "good" one and "naughty one and I hate it. So now I'm wondering if I've been overly critical of 9yo to prove a point that he's not always perfect either.

I'm aware that this post makes me sound like I hate my 9yo but I really don't. He is the kindest most thoughtful little person I've ever known and j love him with all my heart.

Not sure why I'm posting really I'm just not used to telling him off and I feel like shit.

If you don't like telling him off just give consequences for every action that you deem to be unacceptable.

We all have bad days. Don’t beat yourself up about it and start a fresh tomorrow. I have a 5 year old and a 2 year old. Already people are labelling my 2 year old as the “naughty” one because he’s stubborn and my 5 year old is more of a people pleaser. Drives me mad. DS1 also shouts “no” at his brother like you would a badly trained dog. Drives me mad. I end up telling him off when it’s his younger brother that’s hit him or whatever. I just take a deep breathe, and start afresh. and for you!

Honestly? I think you’re worrying over not much really. Tomorrow’s another day.

I’m guessing any 9 year old would be quite irritated by their 2 year old sibling, so I wouldn’t worry about that either.

Thanks Wide I'm glad to know it's not just me. 2yo is very clever but not very verbal, but he understands everything we say - which is why it breaks my heart to hear 9yo telling him "stop, stay, get down, NO" like a dog!! Just bloody talk to him using sentences and he will understand you!! I hate that my 2yo is labelled as naughty when he's just, you know, being 2....

I know it's a generalisation but I think all siblings fight. The little one wants attention and teases the older one, and the older one reacts. I remember when I was a kid I used to climb an oak tree at the bottom of our garden and read my book up there, where my dsis couldn't get me. Have your DC got bunks? Can the older one go up there?

Single they don't share a room, but 9yo has a high sleeper and knows that he is always welcome to take himself upstairs if he wants some peace and quiet. Think he suffers from FOMO though!

I think what annoyed me was that 2yo was only trying to give him a hug - and 9yo is the most cuddly child I know. He interrupts me talking or working (on the odd occasion I have to log on in the evening) or doing the housework about 10 times a day to give me a hug. I know it's different dynamics though because it's siblings I did ask him how he would feel if I shouted at him to "GET DOWN" the next time he tried to give me a cuddle!