Long story short exdp and I split 6 years ago due to him having an affair, he moved in with the ow and saw the dcs very sporadically they never really had overnights as the place ex rented wasn't suitable for them to stay and when he have them he would end up leaving them with ow or his dm and I would get calls to come and collect them.
In 2017 he stepped up a hell of a lot, seeing dcs more, giving me a little maintance for them. We even began to get along better, that was until he started cheating on the ow with his current partner, he then went back to seeing the dcs maybe once a month and the odd phone call.
I eventually went nc with him in early 2018 although still allowing him to see and speak to the dcs When he wanted, he moved in with new partner last year and now wants our dcs to stay over, he hasn't seen them since the 1st week in Jan and before that he last saw them in Nov (all his choice) now I'm very uneasy about all of this, of course dc have a right to see their dad and they want to so I will not stop that, however he is making no effort to facilitate that or even try to rebuild their relationship, he is still calling as and when he wants and has told me for the last 3 weeks he is coming for them yet still hasn't shown up.
There is a huge backstory and something I really don't want to go into, but I have a lot of issues with him introducing a new partner to them as he seems to disown them when starting out a fresh then popping back up once things are settled.
I know his relationship status is none of my business and I truly don't care that he's with anyone, but I know for a fact this relationship is very volatile, shes kicked him out the house they share almost weekly as she doesn't trust him and he will more than likely bugger off out drinking for the weekend and leave them with her, as he done more than once with the ow.
I don't even know what I'm asking really but would it be reasonable of me to ask him to only have day contact until i can see he's serious? He has form for not turning up when he's supposed to, so I don't really want to prepare dc for a weekend away then he doesn't show, at least this way I can take them out with out disappointing them.
Also i would like him to have sorted out their room and not have them sleeping on a single blow up bed.