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black sheep of the family.

10 replies

Chazzer3 · 08/02/2019 09:10

Hi everyone i am 1 0f 6 the eldest but this is in regard to just 4 of us. i am 42 i have 5 children, my mum always had me do everything for my younger siblings even when she was married to my dad. by the age of 15 after my mother telling me a little part of her hated me for making her grow up so quick (she had me at 17) my sister heard her say this she was 11 at the time. any way i left to live with my dad and step mum (that's another nightmare story) anyway my mum then got my 11-year-old sister to take care of the other 2 who were 8 and 13 13 year old was my brother. my mum and stepdad split up due to my mum cheating and she got in a relationship with a violent and abusive man. i know my sister blames me for her having to deal with this and the amount of violence they all saw. my mum never has really bothered with my children but does my sisters and brothers children my mum has even told me she has given the others money i have always stood on my own 2 feet since i was 15. fast forward to now my sister is now 38 she was living in private rent with her 3 children when she found out i was moving in with my partner who owns his own house she asked if she could take over my tenancy with HA, i said it wouldn't work ect my daughter and granddaughter lived in the house also she is 22. any way i ended up giving in as i had just had my youngest who was born with downs syndrome and needed open heart surgery at 12 weeks old, i said as long as there is no come back on me. no she said i promise i need to get out the area i live in apparently she was getting her house and garden broken in too, this was August this last year, i paid the rent for them for the first month then i stopped i couldn't afford it on maternity leave and my sister said she could now pay it as she had originally paid her months rent in August, any way she paid it for a while then suddenly she owed £1000 well my name was on the tenancy agreement still so i took my name off. now they £2471.00 and suddenly they are being evectited its my fault? and her 13 and 17 year old daughters and my 22 year old daughter are sending me vile abusive messages blaming me . my daughter has been vile too me on several occasions she had a drug addiction when she was 14 and 15 i supported her financialy and emotionaly when she had a baby at 16. i just needed to vent all 3 of my siblings and mother have had drink problems my sisters and mum have all taken drugs and grown weed. i ask none of them for anything ever yet im the biggest bitch going,

OP posts:
33goingon64 · 08/02/2019 09:18

Sounds like you need a good chat with a counsellor as there are a lot of issues to unpick there. Good luck.

Chocolateandabook2019 · 08/02/2019 10:21

Sorry to read that op, I sympathise fully💐.

Visit the “But we took you to Stately Homes” thread in relationships (sorry, I can’t link). I think you’ll find some answers there.
Good luck.

Chazzer3 · 08/02/2019 10:24

thank you

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justthecat · 08/02/2019 10:28

Sounds to me you come across the strong and capable one and maybe they resent it.
That’s their issue not yours

Chocolateandabook2019 · 08/02/2019 10:30

I remember my Mum telling me I was to blame for my Dad having an affair with her sister .....just because I was poorly in hospital at the time, and she ‘had to keep visiting me 🙄’ so she ‘took her eye off the ball’ with my Dad.

Chocolateandabook2019 · 08/02/2019 10:33

...Oh, and I was a baby at the time.
I mean, how can anyone blame a sodding baby?

Anyway, I hope you find the answers you deserve op xx

Springwalk · 08/02/2019 10:37

It is okay to be a black sheep op.

My best advice, distance yourself from all of them indefinitely. Find a solid reputable counsellor to heal and rectify the damage inflicted on you as a child. Invest your time and energy into your dp and new life. Keep the door open for your dd. Tell her you love her, and the ignore the texts.

You deserve to be loved and happy. Your family sound dysfunctional to say the least, move on and leave them in the past.

Chocolateandabook2019 · 08/02/2019 10:40

You deserve to be loved and happy. Your family sound dysfunctional to say the least, move on and leave them in the past.

^^couldnt agree more.

Mycathatesme · 08/02/2019 10:56

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Singlenotsingle · 08/02/2019 11:26

Actually you're the white sheep in a flock of black sheep aren't you? You should be proud of yourself for getting through all that abuse 😉 and coming out still in one piece. Your sister shouldn't have asked to use your tenancy and you shouldn't have agreed! But you know that now. They're resentful that you've escaped their lifestyle.
Just a word, make sure you're protected financially in some way but good luck for the future Flowers,

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