Why won't schools recognise and encourage talent?

[Binpedal]

My dd is talented at music - Grade 6 and in first year of high school. Sure I know there will be even more talented than her across the country but she was always the best musician throughout primary school and pretty much one of the best in her section of high school.
She is quiet, studious etc.
Not one prize or formal recognition throughout all her school life. In a recent high school competition she didn't even get a commendation although pupils playing much lower graded pieces did and got prizes.
We are not entitled and we are not taking anything away from those pupils. We have never bragged or put her on social media. We have never talked to her schools or made a fuss. But she is becoming despondent and it breaks my heart. She doesn't expect prizes every time and we have tried to teach her that it's about the journey and the passion etc how much joy it brings us.
But once would be nice. A feeling that the teachers understand the hard work that goes into playing grade 6 music to that standard.

Well if her schools don’t know (“we’ve never talked to her schools”) how are they supposed to know.

Do you schools not partake in the gifted and talented programme?

Personally I hate G&T as there is no acknowledgement for those pupils who work their socks off but are still only average (even under). At my DCs primary those on the G&T programme were given half termly reward trips- eg, Mountain biking,water sports, theme parks etc- totally out of order on the little Miss/Mr work their socks off average.

Because they can see her play!
What more evidence is needed?

Dcs Primary School didn’t used to but from about 6 months ago any achievements are mentioned in the newsletter.
DD’s Secondary are very very into recognition of achievement inside and outside School and have a very on the ball marketing manager, there is something on FB a few times a week and a roundup email in the weekly newsletter as well

Dizzilizzy I do think pupils who work their socks off should get acknowledged too. I was one of those pupils! Always average
No I don't think there is G&T programme but not sure I agree with that.
Just a prize when it's deserved would be fine. I don't understand their criteria when pupils playing grade 2 pieces (some not very well!) get accolades but not those playing complex higher grade pieces.
My dd works her socks off too. Yes she has talent but she works at it.

Have you spoken to the music staff to find out what the issue is ?

Finally I did speak to them yes.
Music teacher was a bit defensive but did say DD was very talented and played amazing. But the prize decision was arbitrary and subjective. It certainly was!

Does your DD have private lessons, and the others have lessons in school? Could the reason be that the school’s music teachers choose whichever one of their own students they think has made the most effort, regardless of the actual grade they have reached?

It’s such a shame your DD is becoming despondent. Is the school generally strong on music or do they prioritise other things? My DD goes to a school which really promotes music and there are a few children who are playing grade 8+ at that age (though grade 6 would still stand out as musically gifted!). The musicians have countless opportunities throughout the term to play in front of the school in assemblies and shows and are all made to feel special. They don’t get awards - just lots of praise from the teachers.
I would have a word with the music staff at school. I really don’t think ‘awards’ are the way to go. Your DD already has awards in the form of grade exam certificates (and external music competition awards?). It sounds like she might just benefit from more opportunity to perform at school and receive praise for it.

Schools generally (quite rightly) reward effort rather than achievement. If someone is particularly gifted and talented beyond their peers in any area then awards for achievement would always go to that pupil and the other kids would never get their effort noticed.

A kid with no encouragement from home, who gets a 20 minute group lesson once a week with 3 other kids and then practices hard at home without any adult making them, probably does deserve a prize for playing a grade 2 piece badly, far more than a kid who has had every resource and encouragement for years and can play a grade 6 piece beautifully because it's easy for her, but maybe would be at grade 8 if she'd put in the same level of personal effort as the grade-2-badly kid.

Surely the reward is in passing the music exam with distinction? I’m sure her music teacher and you congratulated her? Why does it have to be a huge public fest?
Maybe the child who struggles to reach grade two needs the encouragement of an extrinsic prize - your child clearly doesn’t. Maybe the grade two child feels they are not very good or praiseworthy because there are others on grade 6?

I'm not sure she should expect lots of praise and recognition for an instrument she's learning outside school - but the competition thing is weird.

Is there a school orchestra she can join? That would be a good way of getting her achievements recognised while also making a contribution to the school's musical life.

Just seen your last reply - I wonder if the staff give awards to those of lower ability because they already feel your DD is excelling. This is the downside to awards and why I really don’t like them.
It is possible to cultivate an environment at school where all children are given a chance to shine, without the need for bits of paper.

At my school the music prizes are tied to the curriculum, so say they are learning the guitar at school, the prize goes to someone who's picked it up particularly well. Someone at grade 6 piano would be irrelevant. I can understand you wanting your dd to be encouraged though. They could get her involved in playing piano for school shows, guest assembly etc.

Does she play in the school orchestra or band/contribute to school music other than solos?

It's ungracious of you to complain about the arbitrary award to kid you thought wasn't so good. It's possible you are blinkered about your DDs performance?

Why not encourage DD to play in local music festivals? If she wins there then you can tell school and ask them to recognise her achievement in Assembly and in her personal record.

DD never got more than a tiny part in in her school productions throughout her whole school career despite being heavily involved in her local musical theatre youth group. It put on really high quality productions in which she always had a major part and her singing voice was reckoned to be exceptional by the professional artists who ran the group as volunteers.

However, every year when she auditioned for the school show she got the back row of the chorus.

Now I'm aware that there will now be some rolling their eyes and dismissing me as one of those deluded mums with overinflated ideas of their offspring's talents. I get that, there's a lot of that around. However, she won a sixth form place to study Musical Theatre at BRIT School and is now on the foundation course at Mountview. So independent top tier professionals in the business recognised her talent and offered her places on massively competitive courses. But the local comprehensive doesn't consider her talented enough to even have one line. (Bitter, me? NOOOO!! ).

Having turned myself inside out over the years to understand this, I have concluded that schools aren't really concerned about choosing the most talented and best performers for these things as the aim of these productions isn't to produce the best standard of performance possible, it is used as a tool to offer encouragement engagement and confidence boosting to the less engaged and motivated pupils, to reward good behaviour and, yes, at times to pat the drama teacher's favourites on the head!

So OP, recognise this for what it is. It's not a reflection on your DD's talent, the school have other motivations.

I would recommend your DD to put her energies into finding specialist musical activities and performance groups outside of school. She will find her talents and hard work and level of achievement get their proper rewards there.

Consider as well how you would feel if she did win a prize and some parent felt it wasn't deserved as their child is grade 8 etc etc. Tell her to compete with and reward herself, grade 6 is an amazing achievement.

Pupils who are gifted in performing arts rarely get recognised in primary and it takes a couple of years at secondary for the recognition to occur IME.
My daughter is another musical theatre performer who until year 8/9 was really over looked at school. She was always a 'class winner' at competitions, but it was only when she got to the level of overall winner that school sat up and took notice - took credit for her on social media.

Thanks everyone. There are some really helpful and thought provoking replies which have helped me get perspective.
I was a pupil who came from a very difficult background. No doors were automatically opened for me! I worked damn hard at sport though and excelled. I did get recognition in the form of praise and prizes etc.
For my dd it is different. She has had a better start in life, has private lessons etc.
So given my background I'm a big believer in kids getting recognition for overcoming odds and hard work. However my dd works hard too! I suppose I wonder how we can get a balance?

DD was the same level at the same age, her efforts were recognised by moving her to 2nd position in the orchestra and bands she played in six weeks after she joined secondary school.

So she was the short kid in front of the older ones because of her efforts. As PPs have said playing in bands/orchestras etc., would be good for her.

Yes she has taken up a brass instrument so she can be part of orchestra. It was a good move
It was just seeing her so upset broke my heart. We have never made too big a deal out of winning competitions or pushed her too hard other than encouraging her to practice most days. We always make it clear her music is a joy and we are proud of her efforts regardless. But something about this competition meant so much to her. First chance to shine in high school?
I just feel for her. But it's a good life lesson. There will be more disappointments in life and you have to learn to overcome.

What is her other instrument?

Does the school actually have an already established prize giving option though? If there's not one already in place for excellence etc, then of course she's not going to get a prize for something that a not even in place.

I think that is right Dim, the criteria for music prizes at DD's school are fixed. 30/30 on every element in DD's exam = zero, because she doesn't meet the other criteria, fair enough.

Also, if the instrument is something like piano that doesn't lend itself to playing with others and lessons are not in school then it wouldn't be likely to be recognised.

I think your first chance to shine in high school is a bit off OP and I mean this in the kindest way. At DD's school there are at least a dozen kids with diplomas, some pre sixth form so while her Gr 6 means a lot to you, you need to recognise that she is just another musical child to them.