If you ask for charity donations for your birthday, would you expect a gift to open as well?

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Or is the gift the donation?

What a twat your friend is 😲

So he expected to get the self satisfaction of appearing charitable without any actual sacrifice to himself? Did anybody else do the same as you?

Your friend is a funny man!

Yes, I hope you laughed heartily at his little joke. I could not have taken that seriously, whether he meant it seriously or not.

No, if for an adult.
Yes, if for a child (bloody hate it when parents request that).

What BBinGin said.

Annabelle - when I've thrown a party - for a big birthday - I know that people I invite wouldn't want to arrive empty handed, therefore I always say "No presents please ^but if you wish to put something in an envelope then all monies will go to X charity"

I don't see it as asking, but I see it as deflecting the well meaning people who wouldn't feel right not bringing something to an event they were invited to.
In the same way as if someone invites me to their party, I would expect to take a gift. They don't ask, but it is normal social etiquette.

No! You can't spend the same money twice. You put the amount you've have spent on the gift into the donation.

No