Has anyone else's DC ever just had a consistently and randomly unpleasant class depsite the rest of the school being nice?

[JessiCake]

I'm just a bit fed up with DD's class, and a bit sad for her that it's so rubbish :(

It's not teacher-specific. The issues have been the same since Reception and they're now Year 2. DD's teachers have always done the best they can (I feel) with a challenging group.

It's nothing (at least not usually) anything worth actually mentioning to staff. There was some actual bullying early in Y1 (not of DD) but it got sorted out tbf.

It's just general and fairly constant low-level unkindnesses, a couple of the girls in particular who seem to rule the roost and can be very cutting, a general lack of interest in learning so the teachers have to spend a lot of time on discipline which disrupts things for the kids who actually want to learn.

It's odd because my DD has friends with brothers and sisters in other years and there has never seemed to be a similar culture in other classes.

There are some very very big (and not terribly kind) peronalities in DD's class and I think maybe that sets the tone for how the entire class interacts?

Sigh. Just wish it was different for her. She's very gentle and not terribly assertive and the class isn't a good one for a child like her (or quite a few of the others, tbf, but there's a small majority that dominate).

It just strikes me as odd that an entire class in an otherwise lovely school can be so randomly not-lovely for no apparent reason.

Anyone else had this?

Yes, this happens in every school, there is always a 'notorious' cohort. In fact I remember when I was at secondary school the year above me was awful and always the ones getting a huge bollocking off the teachers.

Also true of the school I work at. I had a class a couple of years ago and God knows what was in the water that year because so many of them were just utterly appalling, I just couldn't figure out how there could be so many in one year group! And there were a few lovely ones and I used to think Jesus, if my kid was in this class I would go nuts!

But then again, apparently my DSs class are the notorious cohort in his school, and he loves school and never really has any problems, so I don't know.

My niece had similar. Moved schools. Different child. It’s not the schools fault they can only do so much with the raw material they have.

Friend teaches at best private school in the area even she says there are forms there she wouldn’t want her child in. If there’s another local school I would move her.

OP you could be describing my own primary classic, though a fair few years ago now! A few key personalities, a lot of followers, but only a couple of classic ‘naughty’ kids. A lot of jostling for position and desperately clinging on.

My DM told me a couple of year ago that she had been in to speak to my Y5 teacher about yet more general unpleasantness, and the teacher sat with her head in her hands and said that she just didn’t know what to do with the class. Apparently they had sought extra support from the LEA, though no idea if they ever got it!

Tbh I wish my mum had told me that at the time, so I’d have spent less time thinking I was the oddball who didn’t fit in.

My DS didn't know what had hit him when he exchanged his sneery primary school class for a secondary school form that insisted on a 'welcome back' group hug after half term!

My Ds is in year 10 at our local all boys grammar school. We have been told that they are not a good year group. The headteacher told all the parents at a parents information evening at the start of this school year. He said that the year group behaviour is poor and lots of the boys are not reaching their academic targets due to lack of effort.

I have been very unimpressed with the school since year seven so wasn't entirely surprised with his statement. My eldest child was in a great year group at his secondary modern. He has now left school but behaviour was far better in his year than my youngest has experienced at what is meant to be an outstanding grammar.

DD2's primary school was like this. Lots of wannabee queen bees, endless fallings out, kids bouncing off walls. They tried reshuffling the class several times but it made little difference. I had friends on the staff who kept letting slip that no-one wanted to teach this year group. And they also had massive staff turnover, which was a vicious circle, because each change of staff unsettled the kids even more.

I do kind of wish we'd been brave enough to move her. But we didn't really think that was an option until it was too late to make much difference. Quite honestly, the only thing that really helped was going to secondary school. Lots of the same kids are still in her year (now year 9), but their influence was diluted and she made a conscious effort to make new friends. And in fact, many of the kids from the primary class are maturing into much more reasonable human beings (DD2 included), who are much better at getting on with each other. And she's learned quite a few life skills along the way!

I was actively warned off a local private school for sixth form by a then teacher who told me (having met me twice) that I’d have had a great time if I’d been a year older or younger but to avoid my year group there like the plague.

I had a couple of friends there (a couple of years older) who confirmed it...so it wasn’t just the teachers who thought they weren’t a nice group.

Yes, DGS is in a notoriously awful year group. The child who would be 'that child' in an average class is one of 8 aggressive disruptive boys and two girls ditto.
Very little work gets done some days. Their last class teacher left teaching. They are famous throughout the area.
How we wish DGS was a few weeks younger.
The rest of the school is fine with very few issues.

Yes my sons old class. I moved him and he thrived

I work in a year 6 class exactly like this. You get them every now and then. The kids just don’t gel, too many different and difficult personalities vying for attention. Usually, when it’s just one or two kids it is controllable, but even the most experienced teacher cannot get a handle on them when there are seven/eight tricky ones. It’s just too many.
I feel sad for the other kids because we tend to spend the day firefighting rather than actually teaching. It’s not enjoyable or productive at all.

My son old class was awful, even the teachers had said that they've never known a class like it they turn their back for 1 min and some one was doing something they shouldn't, I decided to stick it out because I worried my son who suffers anxiety wouldn't cope in a new school, second year of juniors I had to remove him quickly as it got that bad he was suicidal, through bullying and teachers just given up dealing with the class. Move school and I've finally got my happy go lucky boy back that I lost and is anxiety has lesson. Please change schools if you worried about your child.

*his not is

DS' class is like this. It's a mix of strong personalities, very defensive parents who think their DCs can do no wrong and a rubbish SMT. Thankfully a new HT has just started and she seems to have realised the challenges.

Yes my ds old class was terrible. A few real bullies and unfortunately they have to mix with these kids for a long time. The parents of those kids were terrible too, they made every social event for the year shit.

In the end we moved schools and it was the best decision I ever made.

Yeah we moved him and it was like night to day. He cried with happiness about how nice the new class peeps were. Wished I had moved him earlier

Ds1 went through school and his classes were fine and everyone got on well. There's a seven year gap between him and ds2. By the time ds2 started the same school, standards of behaviour had dropped significantly and everyone seemed much sassier and aggressive. He was bullied and ended up by going to three different primary schools.

By the time he went to secondary, ds1 had just left and even he commented on the year 7's being nasty little blighters and how behavioural standards were worse. Ds2 lasted almost a term before we had to pull him out due to bullying. He's now being homeschooled.

I think schools only really suit a certain type of child now and lots can't cope with the modern atmosphere. If you're not super confident, are surrounded by friends, are a bully or at least outgoing, streetwise and sassy, you will get bullied or find it too stressful. Kids are so much more streetwise now than when even ds1 was going through school. I don't know how on earth disabled children cope. Ds2 has aspergers and they were like a bunch of wild dogs. The stuff they said to him was vile and he was at risk of suicide. Terrible. It wasn't even a rough school either.

My daughters class were phenomenally and abnormally bright and they were a complete nightmare. Lots of big personalities and a general feeling that they were too good for school, even from reception. It was 1 form entry and teachers actually left as they moved through school. I think 5 of their class teachers left at the end of the year.
One thing it did for my daughter was show her how to fight for her academic achievements. (To put this into perspective, she got 119 in reading, 118 in SPAG and was NOT in the top 10 of results) She is at secondary school now and away from those children completely. She’s absolutely flying and her teachers all connect on her strong work ethic.
My son’s class is known to be adorable. They work hard, but they are funny and sweet and altogether different. There are about 6 of us with siblings from THAT class in there and while the kids are so much easier, the parents are very hard work.
I contemplated moving my daughter, but I didn’t want to disrupt my son and my daughter did well. She was way more quiet than at home, but she also got recognition for her excellent (absolutely normal in any other year) behaviour.

You get groupings like this all the way through school, sometimes despite huge efforts to avoid them. I’ve had two tutor groups from hell in Y7-9 (resulted in me choosing to permanently move to sixth form). I’ve also had parallel classes in GCSE, one horrendous, the other delightful (though that was partially driven by option choices).

"So we only have another 1.5 terms of this particular class to go, I guess. "

Op could you ask for your dd to be moved to the other class if she really isn't enjoying the current one? School probably wouldn't normally do this but it is an advantage of a two or more form school that the option may be there.

Secondary school as this class moved up they challenged different teachers. When they came back for sixth form things escalated. Six were expelled four in one day. Wish they had done it years before

I think sometimes you just get classes (and occasionally year groups) like that. When I was a teacher I made up the p1 classes for years and it’s so difficult to put together a class, especially when you know relatively little about them. It’s a big responsibility as in my school we didn’t mix then as they moved up, that’s their class for the 7 years. We used to take in from lots of nurseries (no attached one) so often the children didn’t know each other and all of the nurseries had different expectations etc. I remember one year where two classes were lovely and one was just horrendous. Nice kids mostly, just a terrible mix! Still is, I think but seems to have settled slightly.
Does your school mix the classes throughout the years? Could your DD begin to build relationships with girls in the other classes outside of school?

My children moved school last week exactly because of this.

DS1's year were just unlucky in that 75% of the boys are just "bad". Bullying wasn't dealt with and although there is now talk about splitting the two classes and mixing the boys up - it just means that Gang 1 from Class 1 will now swap up a few from Gang 2 and Class 2. Same scenario, different names.

My mom was a teacher and said thus it ever was.

DS's year group at his primary school were like this. One form entry so no escaping them. Started in YR and just got worse. I used to wish DS was either a year older or younger as classes either side were lovely

As others have said there were a number of strong personalities and some bullies. Individually most of them were lovely but they just couldn't gel. DS had a little group of friends in his class, who stuck together throughout his whole time there (the only consistent friendship group) otherwise we would have moved him, although the Y6 teacher told me that other local schools had complained that their Y6s were the same, so she didn't envy the Y7 teachers in the secondary school. We took DS out of catchment for secondary!

I remember one KS2 teacher telling DS at a parents' evening 'you've done well to survive this class so far' Every year we would hope the new teacher would sort them out, but even the teacher with the reputation of being the strictest in the school didn't manage to. I was a parent volunteer in the class and I would spend some of my time just sitting between children to stop them niggling at each other. The amount of time teachers had to waste sorting out petty squabbles etc was awful. There was bullying too and the parents of the bullies didn't help as it was obviously everyone else's fault. The Y6 teacher was the only one who seemed to have any impact on the class, and I think they were a bit of a maverick and went against the HT a few times, but even they couldn't work miracles.

Friend teaches at best private school in the area even she says there are forms there she wouldn’t want her child

This in spades. Be under no illusions. You still get the nastiness, verbal bullying, leaving other children out but possibly less physical poor behaviour but once you hit year 5 and 6 it’s the usual setting up WhatsApp groups and removing other kids to upset them, having gatherings and just leaving out one or 2 children and quite a bit of “we are so rich we can do annnnythiiiiing and what do you mean you’ve not been skiing, OMG everyone has been skiing”.

That was a fun couple of terms when a “character” joined DD’s prep school in year 5 and totally upset the dynamics in the class

Yes, DD's class are lovely. Really lovely. They work together, help each other and have never had any major issues. A bit of jostling between a couple of the boys but nothing that has spread.

DS's class was a nightmare. The teachers moved him into a parallel class (he has SN) because she wouldn't be able to cope with another difficult child. There was constant bullying and low-level meanness. DS ended up repeating a year and is so much happier.

The class now has so many issues that they have had several parent's evenings and have external experts in. They've had someone writing death threats to other children, mocking of people with disabilities, theft and destroying other children's work, beating up of the smaller kids in the class. I'm so glad my DS is no longer with them!