How to be happy?

[Rayn]

Are you happy? I can't and never have been completely satisfied with my life. I always want more (not necessarily material gain) but when I get it never happy. I always seem to be searching for something.
On paper, I have a good life, yes have had shit times and could do with more money and losing a few pounds. However, I feel something is missing. I don't feel fulfilled I suppose.
I get a job i wanted and then after a couple of years I want to do something else. Get the home I want but want to move as it is not exactly what I thought it would be.
Even booking a holiday is a chore as after I booked I always look to see what else there is.
I have a lovely husband, lovely kids and enough money to get by so why do I feel like this.
Do you think it is an innate thing being happy? I always feel like I am missing out and it is pissing me off now as I just want to feel content. My sisters are the same so maybe to do with our upbringing or genetic.
In my mid forties now and feeling scared as though I have missed something in my life.

So.... are you happy and settled with your lot? Just wondering??

Yes I am. It all depends on your definition of happy. For me, happiness literally comes from being happy with myself and how I live day to day.
Am I a good person? Yes
Do I tell the truth? Mostly
Do I go out of my way to hurt others, tear them down or cause harm? No
I manage my expectations of others accordingly.
I ensure I am content with the key areas in my life and then and only then have I been able to feel at peace aka happy.

I think trying to find satisfaction a different job, home or location are secondary. It's hard to explain but you really have to be at peace with YOU, how you are on this planet, how you treat others and how you let others treat you. I don't tolerate crap at all anymore (I used to) but I am not cut throat and brutal where I discard people. I also try and not let small things stress me.

Try the 5 by 5 rule...
Will it matter 5 years from now? If not, don't spend more than 5 minutes
worrying about it.

I used to suffer from the 'I'll be happy when.....' curse. I spent so much time thinking about the future and worrying that I paid no attention to the present.

Now I'm generally content as I knocked that shit on the head. I think happiness isn't a state of being but little flashes of joy that we experience throughout the day. I don't think anyone can be permanently happy. Satisfied, content, at peace are more permanent states and this is what I aim for. I strive to accept what I don't have the power to change and to recognise and proactively do something about the stuff I can change.

I think if I were you I might invest in a series of therapy sessions to get to the root of it. Money well spent if it enables you to enjoy the life you already have. Life is short. I don't think this is uncommon but I do think it can be solved. Good luck.

Comparison is the thief of joy - sounds a bit trite but it's true. With things like house, holidays etc I think it comes down to learning to be comfortable with the decisions you've made, and that they're the right ones for you, without dwelling on what other people might choose instead.

Easier said than done, obviously, and I'm sure everyone gets the odd twinge of envy occasionally. But being satisfied with the decisions you have made makes for contentment, which is as close to happiness as I think it's possible to get.

You are all right I know!
I don't compare my life but get bored with things so quick. Just done some google searching and it is GIGS. Grass is greener syndrome.

Was thinking about my grandma and she just had to accept her life how it panned out. Maybe its all down to too many choices x

What do you give back?
What little kindnesses do you do each day for people.
Dreaming of getting stuff is always in the future.
But doing kind things is in the present.
And you need to be in the present to feel happy.