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Original poster

Flying Alone

48 replies

SunnySideUpX · 06/02/2019 19:05

Hello!

I have just booked a trip away to visit my friend, I will be flying alone for the first time ever. I'm in my early 20's. I have flown before, but always with someone else to "take charge."

I am an okay flyer but I am already nervous about being "stuck" in the air on my own. The last few times I've flown (not for around 2 years) I have started to feel increasingly nervous.

I have never checked in, found the gate, found my way etc on my own, but I'm a fairly confident person and I will ask for help, it is just more psychological advice I'm after. Although any tips for this too would be helpful!

Does anyone have any top tips? Anything I can do to keep myself calm? I am more worried about over thinking while I'm in the air and panicking.

Thank you!

OP posts:
rosesandcashmere · 06/02/2019 19:09

Stop overthinking! It's no different from getting a bus with wings. Security aside and you know about that so ensure no liquids in hand luggage etc and sail through. I would check in any big bags so you've just a small one through the airport. Check in online and have your boarding pass and passport easily accessible. Go through security, plonk yourself down with a glass of wine and check a board an hour before your flight - your gate will be there. Make way to gate and onto plane. You'll be fine. It's liberating!

Original poster
SunnySideUpX · 06/02/2019 19:15

Thank you!

Overthinking is all it is really. I will definitely check in beforehand, it is just hand luggage as I'm only going for 4 nights. I'm going to get a see through case for my toiletries all ready so I don't have to faff around in the queue.

I'm worried about finding the flight on the boards, but it has to be pretty straightforward, right?! I'll treat myself to something edible from the duty free shop!

I can't wait. Feeling liberated is partly why I'm doing this, I've recently got out of a horribly abusive relationship and this is something I never thought I'd actually do!

OP posts:
2019Dancerz · 06/02/2019 19:17

Be early, it helps not to have to worry about time. Would it help you to adopt a role in your head, or pick someone who looks confident and try to mirror their behaviour?

sphinxa · 06/02/2019 19:23

Enjoy it!

I miss flying alone.

I used to get a (semi) regular morning flight for work and I'd have a nice overpriced breakfast and buy my perfume or whatever from duty free, read books, listen to music... I now travel with two toddlers in tow struggling to balance all the paraphernalia they travel with!!

All airports are easy to follow... even them foreign ones! You'll find the board, find your gate number, find your gate without any problem at all. You'll be fine.

Original poster
SunnySideUpX · 06/02/2019 20:12

That's a good idea, I'll put my work head on and pretend to be completely in control of the situation!
I'll definitely aim to be as early as possible. I hate rushing around and can imagine that only adds to the stress. Thanks!

Thank you. You make it sound very pleasant, actually! Like just a normal mode of transport, which I suppose it is. I will try and download some programmes to my phone and maybe buy a new book.

My main concern is just panicking while I'm up in the air and realising I can't get out if I wanted to. I guess distraction will be the only thing!

OP posts:
FadedRed · 06/02/2019 20:17

The only nuisance of travelling alone with walk-on baggage was having to take it to the loo with me. Some cubicles are so cramped it takes a contortionist to get in and out with a suitcase.

tellmewhenthespaceshiplands · 06/02/2019 20:27

Sorry you've been through the mill OP but glad your going out and doing new things!

Yes to all other suggestions especially giving yourself plenty of time so you don't feel harassed. Maybe print a paper copy of your boarding pass even if you were planning on using your phone - it's one tech let down eliminated!

You'll be fine reading the boards and as your solo you've only got to find one spare seat if you wanted to sit by your gate Smile

With regards your "in the air" worries how long is your flight?

God I would love to fly alone again. I used to do it lots for work and for the first few times I felt just like you do but quickly learned to appreciate the peace and quiet. Plus with a wine glass in hand the people watching is fantastic if that's your thing!

TSSDNCOP · 06/02/2019 20:34

Why would you take a wheelie case down from the bin to take it to the loo?

Make sure you’ve got something you really want to watch downloaded to take up the whole airtime.

Doyouthinktheysaurus · 06/02/2019 20:41

I flew with ds2 who is a grumpy teen so no support whatsoever😂 It was only the second time I had flown and it was absolutely fine.

So much easier than other forms of transport as each step is quite slow and there is so much time to waste and contemplate.

The only minor issue I had was when I went to collect my small manual car rental and they presented me with an automatic car the size of a tank. It did get sorted thankfully, everyone spoke English.

I'd love to do it completely alone. Not taking a grumpy teen again, that's for sure!

NotExactlyHappyToHelp · 06/02/2019 20:44

Ahh you’ll be grand.

I really enjoy flying but I flew last weekend for the first time as the person in charge if you know what I mean and I was petrified of cocking it all up somehow.

It was really easy from start to finish. So much so that I’m looking at booking something else already.

Does the airline you’re flying with have an app? I found the BA one really helpful.

amusedbush · 06/02/2019 21:09

Why would you take a wheelie case down from the bin to take it to the loo?

I think that poster was talking about going to the loo in the airport.

I love flying and we travel a lot but I’ve got my first solo flight in May (Glasgow to London) and I’m really excited! I’m going down for my birthday weekend to see a show and potter around by myself - two whole nights alone in a hotel Grin people keep giving me the Sympathetic Head Tilt but I’m thrilled Blush

cazzyg · 06/02/2019 21:10

Lots of airports now have a Twitter/messenger alert system set up which tells you what gate, when it’s open, when the flight is boarding so no need to faff about with screens.

I fly on my own lots, mainly for work and I actually enjoy it. I look on the time in the air as time away from distractions- email, social media etc - so either load a film/tv series to watch onto phone or tablet or take a good book, earphones and a good playlist on Spotify ready to go.

Original poster
SunnySideUpX · 06/02/2019 21:16

Thank you everyone for your lovely, supportive comments!

Good idea about taking a paper copy, I will get that sorted. Unfortunately technology is temperamental, at best!

It is only a very short flight, almost 3 hours. Or 3 episodes of Peaky Blinders/Dexter/AHS/something equally enthralling that I can watch.

Yes, I have downloaded the app of the airline I'm flying with, that's already proving useful for bag size etc, parking if I decide to leave my car, etc.

It's really reassuring to hear you all find it easy to do and relaxing while on board!

OP posts:
Politicalacuityisathing · 06/02/2019 21:20

I also miss flying alone! You will most likely surprise yourself with how capable you are. Absolutely agree with time being the main factor. If you're not rushing then you will always get to the right place eventually. Airports are (or should be!)designed to be accessible and easy to navigate and usually with plenty of people around to ask for advice if need be. If you have a wobble be honest and factual with a friendly looking person or cabin crew e.g. "I've never travelled alone and I'm feeling nervous/afraid/anxious. Can you help/can you distract me?".
And enjoy little pleasures. Buy a new magazine, book, notebook or colouring book. Buy/bring a nice picnic. If it's a long flight take a nice blanket and bed socks. Take a nice smell with you (I have a pulse point roller thing from neals yard I use for when I'm in need of soothing. And enjoy your trip!

youwouldthink · 06/02/2019 21:21

You can't use a see through case for toiletries. You will need a small clear plastic bag and are allowed to bring up to ten 100 ml items on board with hand luggage. You can buy the small sandwich bags and use them

FadedRed · 06/02/2019 21:50

*Why would you take a wheelie case down from the bin to take it to the loo?

I think that poster was talking about going to the loo in the airport.*

Yes, I meant in the airport.

Original poster
SunnySideUpX · 06/02/2019 22:03

Sorry, yes, that's what I meant with the clear bags, I'll only be taking small bits of make up anyway, I'll use my friends shampoo etc as I'm staying with her!

These posts are actually making me feel quite excited. I haven't read a magazine in years, so I'll get one of them, a few bits to eat and a fancy coffee for the airport.

Amusedbush, that actually sounds amazing. A hotel on your own for 2 nights Shock Enjoy! And make use of room service!

One time that I've flown I wasn't seated next to my ex P for take off and I ended up having a really nice conversation with the person I was sat beside, so deep down I know I'll be okay to speak up.

Following them on Twitter for updates sounds like a good plan.

Music and earphones sounds like a good idea too, for any unusual (but normal) noises!

OP posts:
MissMaisel · 06/02/2019 22:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

chxm19 · 06/02/2019 22:07

You'll be fine. I flew to Los Angeles on my own when I'd just turned 18!

There's always airport staff to help if you need it Smile

Parthenope · 06/02/2019 22:12

What is it you’re actually afraid of, OP? Airports are designed to usher you in the right direction, you just look at the board for your destination to see your gate, you clearly understand the restrictions on what you can carry in terms of liquids...?

Original poster
SunnySideUpX · 06/02/2019 22:13

That's a good point, so many people are always rushing around and running late it's hard to not get caught up and rush too!
Is that a podcast?

Wow! I couldn't do that flight even now on my own. I'm hoping it's one of those things, a lot of panic and anxiety about nothing, that's generally the case!

OP posts:
Original poster
SunnySideUpX · 06/02/2019 22:17

Part, it's more actually being up in the air and thinking "oh no, if I wanted to get off now I can't, I'm stuck here." Effectively, you're trapped in an intense situation that you can't get out of and then I'll worry that I'll panic about being stuck.

I have flown so I understand the logistics, but I've always had someone say "follow me" and take charge. Like, go through security before me, tell me where to sit and wait, check the screen, tell me when it's time to walk over and where to go, when to board, what to do at the other end, which queue to get in, where to leave the airport and get transport etc.
I have been in an abusive, controlling relationship for the past 3 years, I haven't done anything for myself in quite a long time! It feels overwhelming just now, but when people break it up it feels more manageable.

OP posts:
Original poster
SunnySideUpX · 06/02/2019 22:21

Perhaps irrelevant, but my ex would lock me in our house, take and hide the keys, take my phone etc and I used to panic a lot about being stuck! Just the lack of control, I think. As I say, may not be linked though.

OP posts:
VenusClapTrap · 06/02/2019 22:26

I second the suggestion to tell a friendly crew member that you’re a nervous flyer/anxious first time solo traveller. I’m ex crew and we always looked after nervous people really well. To be honest you could usually spot them a mile off without them saying anything! I did a lot of hand holding and reassuring. It’s surprisingly common. Brew

Ifangyow · 06/02/2019 22:29

I fly alone quite often OP. You will be absolutely fine. The board's are simple to work out, honest. The flight number / time of departure etc will be on your ticket, it will match the board.
Example flight ezy 2468 Paris gate 22. Keep an eye on the board for info regarding your flight, example go to gate / boarding etc.
If you're unsure of anything just ask at the customer service desk.
It really is simple.
For the flight take a book or buy some mags. Once you get through security get a coffee and relax.
I will recommend buying a bottle of water or juice once you get air side to drink on the flight though.
Enjoy.

Is this a good time to tell of how I once got engrossed in a book while waiting for my flight, then when I did look at the info board I looked at the wrong thing and thought my flight was delayed. I text my husband to ask him why it was delayed ( he's ATC ) only for him to immediately phone me shouting to ' get to the bloody gate now woman ffs, it's about to bloody take off. Go go go now ' I ran to the gate just as they were about to close it. The woman on the gate told me that they had put a call out for me three times, the pilot shook his head at me and the passengers glared at me as I slid on and slunk into my seat with a very red face. 😳