I’m sorry for the moany post, just need to get a few feelings out that have been in my head for quite a long time.
I have 2 beautiful DC, a lovely home, loving and supportive DH and parents, lots of fab friends. I am very fortunate in these respects.
After the past few years of dealing with lots of health issues, including a head injury and post concussion syndrome, plus an ectopic pregnancy and drug induced involuntary movement disorder, alongside my DB passing away from cancer, I have found solace in being a mum and the only thing that really gives me pleasure are my DC.
I’m so low on confidence when it comes to work and there will come a time when I have to get another part time job as a copywriter / editor to help pay the bills. Ever since my head injury and movement disorder, I have felt ‘different’; a lesser version of myself and the only thing that builds my confidence are my DC. I find myself struggling cognitively and all my involuntary movements make me feel so self conscious.
I hope to get another job working from home but am scared if I can’t and have to work back in an office again.
I’m even toying right now with the idea of having another DC just so I can feel some kind of self worth - which is a ridiculous reason to have a child, I know.
I’m just so sad sometimes.