I don't know what to do

[haveilostsight]

Tonight my dh, ds 10 and I were sitting in the lounge. Ds was eating chocolate. Dh reached over and got some chocolate and went to feed the dogs it. Ds got very upset and we were both yelling at dh not to feed the dogs chocolate. There was a scramble over the chocolate and ds leaned over dh who was kneeling next to the dogs and punched him in the back while yelling to stop. Dh didn't stop and fed the dogs.

Dh is furious that ds punched him. I spoke to ds about hitting and told him it wasn't acceptable, banned his iPad.

Dh and I have had a fight. He says I'm not hard enough on ds. I said I know him punching wasn't acceptable but I can't understand why when we both asked him to stop he didn't. He just seems to be on the wind up all the time. He said if he wants to feed his dogs chocolate he will. I said they're not just your dogs. He doesn't give a shit.

He then went into ds room and said to him that if he ever punches him again he will crush him. And that he'll feed the dogs as much chocolate as he wants. He then apologised to ds and said he shouldn't have said that.

I feel at the end of my tether. I feel trapped and down and I don't know up from down anymore. I don't know who is right and who is wrong. I don't know if I have gotten so used to shitty behaviour that I allow it, or if my ds is completely at fault. Please help me.

Please please help me. I am so desperate.

Assuming DS knows that chocolate is poisonous to dogs, his dad's lucky that he didn't get kicked in the balls. That should stop him.

Why are you living with a bully?

He’s threatened to crush your child and poison your dogs. There’s really nothing anyone can say except leave him.

Chocolate is poisonous to dogs.

You need to call woman’s aid for advice as this sounds incredibly abusive.

Your husband was in the wrong, totally. He threatened your son with violence. He is abusive.

Your son was trying to stop your him doing something that could have harmed the dogs. Chocolate can kill dogs. Your son was not in the wrong, at all. Your husband I have serious concerns about.

What a horrible twat! Ltb and take the dogs with you, before he kills them!

What the fuck? Obviously your husband is wrong. Stand up for DS and the dogs and boot the horrible fucker out.

Your husband is in the wrong. I'm really sorry.

He is saying my son under no circumstances should ever have hit him and he's the violent one.

I have no money and no where to go.

I'm not in the UK. I don't know who to contact.

Does he know that feeding a dog chocolate could kill it?

He said a small amount is fine and we're being ridiculous that it would harm them. He said it has to be in large quantities. I said I don't care, they're not just your dogs. You don't get to decide whether it's a risk worth taking.

"Theobromine doses in the region of 100-150 milligrams per kilogram of bodyweight are toxic to dogs, so if you have a Labrador weighing 30kg, as little as 3000mg of theobromine could be fatal.

You’ll find 3000mg of theobromine in one 500 gram bar of dark or 170 grams of baking chocolate, which is often less than a single bar."

He (your partner) sounds a horror. Are you ok? Just seen last post was over 6 hours ago.

I think your son was very brave trying to save his dogs from being poisoned

He told your son he would crush him??

And you're still with this man??

Baffled.

He sounds very controlling OP.
He's feeding the dog chocolate just because.
Do yoh have friends/ family around?

DH is out of order because he fed your dogs poison... no wonder your son smacked him, he endangered the animals. Thick twat.

I don't think children should hit but I'd be quite pleased he tried to defend an animal tbh. Why would he want to even risk his animals being hurt? Or threaten to hurt a small child? Is he a psychopath?

Get out OP. He's not normal or nice.

What you need to do is start researching your options. Now.

You cannot bring a child up with a man who can threaten to 'crush him'.

And you need to get your son away from him for his own safety - yet alone you, who sound so bullied that you can't stand up to him.

This ought to be a deal breaker.

I can well imagine where your son has learnt violence against other family members comes from.

Of course your DS should not hit anyway. However, I agree with comments that your DH is abusive and cruel to animals and it’s his behaviour that is the issue right now.

Your poor ds was only trying to protect the dogs. I wouldn’t have banned him.
This is probably not a one off. How is he towards ds otherwise?

This is 100 percent on your DH. He's an arrogant, ignorant bully. Your poor D's and dog.

Your poor ds was panicking about the dogs and acted out in their defence. He's probably beside himself with worry about them

Your DH is a dickhead. Does he has form for this kind of behaviour??