A benefits question

[thenewaveragebear1983]

My 15 yo DD's father is currently unemployed, and I have had no maintenance payments now for 3 months (4 missed payments). I was receiving £80 per month which was already a piss take, but it was a private arrangement which worked well and he would also spend money on dd when she was with him, and pays £13 per month for her phone contract. I don't work (sahm) and Dh and i have been together 9 years and have 2 Ds. Dh treats dd like his own child. Ex is 47 yo.

So:
Ex lives in a council house with his mother who has very severe mental health issues including schizophrenia and her partner who has Parkinson's disease and is degenerating quite rapidly, uses a mobility scooter etc. He left a reasonable job recently and went to work in a building site (I was told this was to get better pay etc), it's this job which has now dried up and therefore ex has no income.

Ex claims that he cannot declare he is living with his dm because it will affect their benefits. He is technically therefore homeless. He is job seeking, but is not claiming JsA because of the impact on his mum's finances. He is acting as a general 'carer' I suppose, for his mom and her partner, because they are entirely unable to care for themselves. He is not getting any sort of carers allowance, they are basically just giving him petrol money and food.

I don't know anything about the benefits system but surely this is not correct? He has worked pretty consistently for several years, so no JSA? Is that correct? Would his receipt of benefits affect their benefits to such an extent? Would they be able to claim some carers allowance as he is Basically doing that and it's preventing him from working?

I'm really confused. I'm struggling without his money tbh, and he's not contributing anything now to dd, so Dh is covering her entire expenses, which isn't exactly fair. But he simply refuses to look into claiming, and says he's looking for work. Can he claim jsa without a fixed address? I really feel sorry for him in his current situation but this surely can't go on indefinitely? I feel like I'm being led a merry dance and Dh is footing the bill, and I just would be interested in anyone's advice/feedback/thoughts on this situation.

Apologies for the essay!

My advice would be to make an appointment or drop in to a CAB session. They will be able to talk him through his options. In the meantime check out the links on GOV.UK or run a benefits check on www.entitledto.co.uk/

He can claim JSA with no fixed address if he has somewhere where his mail can be sent. But yes, him getting benefits could possibly affect his parents benefits if he is living there.

I don't know anything about carers allowance but I can imagine it being pretty difficult to get?

If he were to claim JSA he would have to go to the job centre to sign on, attend work focused interviews, be expected to apply for every single job and prove that he is looking for work, maybe he can't be bothered to do that?

Even if he were to claim JSA though it's a pittance and he would only have to pay you £5 a week out of it.

They might be refusing to give the information out/confirming that he lives there and is caring for them.

Older/sick people can be like that - not just because it would mean the end of severe disability allowance, but because they've got it into their heads that it's not allowed or they'll be put in a home if they admit they need help.

It sounds like he's been led a dance by them, as they get a pretty much free carer out of it - and he's likely felt he's had no choice but to leave his job or has been disciplined for taking time off to deal with them. Employers don't tend to accept men in caring roles.

Might be worth gritting your teeth rather than having a go at him as this might not be a case of him messing you around.

It sounds like he’s got his hands full with his mum . I would say that unless you desperately need the money, leave it.

The truth is I don't really know. He was working 40hr weeks until October, his mum and partner do have outside help come in for them. It's not really about the money because £20 a week is not going to destroy us financially, more the fact that it seems unlikely that he would be left effectively homeless with no income, no benefits, etc. Maybe it is true. Dd obviously knows that her father doesn't support her financially as well which isn't particularly positive. I think the likelihood is that when he was working 40 hr weeks he wasn't declaring that he lived there so basically spent everything, no savings for situations like this, and is now concerned about that being found out too.

It sounds like his DM and her partner might both be getting severe disability premium on means-tested benefits, which they would lose if they declared another adult living there. It can be worth up to £128pw for a couple, so as a household they'd get less if your ex claimed JSA/UC.

If his DM is getting PIP then he should be able to claim Carers Allowance without too much difficulty, but then her severe disability premium would stop.

It should be possible to claim JSA without a fixed address, but he'd need a mailing address as a pp mentioned. A CAB should be able to help. He's not just missing out on the money, he's also not getting any NI contributions at the moment so that will affect his state pension in future too.

Dd obviously knows that her father doesn't support her financially as well which isn't particularly positive

Does she understand that you don't support her financially either?

The only adult providing for her is her step dad, neither of her parents are.

If you’re concerned that your OH is paying everything for her why not get a job yourself?

There’s nothing you can do with him really other than open a CMS case so if he gets another job you can get something.

I feel your pain, we get a poxy £16 a week for my stepdaughter of her Mum. It just covers her buss pass for school!

Well I support her by supporting my Dh to work by looking after our children, and I have contributed financially all her life until 3 years ago when our youngest was born, and will do so again once Ds is at school. She's with us 13 nights out of 14 and we currently send her for one night with money for food just so she can maintain a relationship with her father.

regardless of my income, ex should still have to support his child. The fact that Dh and I have an arrangement that covers our family's needs doesn't negate his (ex's) responsibility. I'm sympathetic, to an extent, but it's not really fair is it? I haven't told her he doesn't support her, she knows, she's 15.

I was just unsure about the reasons he's given me, but yes, it does appear that as he has been living there undeclared for years while earning a lot of money, karma has now bitten him on the ass now he needs the government to support him. I wouldn't go through csa, I know if he's working he'll contribute, I just wasn't sure if the story he'd told me could be true but it appears that it could well be.

Thanks everyone for your posts and sharing your knowledge.

If he is caring for them more than 30 hrs a week, he could claim carers allowance. It'll be paid direct to him.

If they're getting sickness/disability benefits, this won't be affected by him claiming g carers, but any other benefit, would be seen as an extra income and deduction s would be made accordingly.

In order to claim Carer's Allowance, the benefits people require the person/s that are being cared for to confirm in writing that they are being cared for by the person (and any additional premiums or funding will probably stop). In addition, if they qualify for housing benefit or council tax benefit, that will at least reduce due to there being another adult in the house.

My FIL is similar - but he refuses to claim Attendance Allowance or even a Blue Badge, but wants my OH to go down and care for him, offering to pay for food (bearing in mind FIL only eats a ham sandwich once a day if it's bought for him). When it was explained that his money would go up AND OH would have an income of his own, he refused point blank because he 'doesn't agree with it and would lose his single person's council tax discount'.

Old or ill people can and will be completely irrational about these things. And the way benefits are set up make it worse.