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Irish Weddings

55 replies

walkingtheplank · 04/02/2019 20:35

We are attending an Irish civil ceremony in April. I've noticed that often when there is a thread on Mumsnet about Weddings, someone will say they do something differently - but I can't think of any of those suggestions now,

So, what are the quirks of Irish weddings - is there an expectation of guests being particularly dressy, is there an expected minimum gift (we've had the presence not present poem). TBH I'm assuming its the same as in the UK but good to have a heads up if there is something obvious.

The wedding ceremony itself is at 3pm and guests will be from Ireland, England and Canada.

OP posts:
housewifeoflittleitaly · 04/02/2019 21:56

Agree with all above. I am a wedding planner and we do big weddings here. Everyone gets very dressed up, make up hair, hats/crowns, bespoke dresses/suits!

Big dinners & lots of drinks, deff cash bar and party all night long.

Usually the day after we do a BBQ or big evening meal. Gifts tend to be very generous £££.

Is it a Chapel weddin?

Oh and just a heads up, we don’t reveal the colours of our bridesmaids dresses. It’s bad manners to ask & it’s fun to guess the colours before they walk down the isle. Don’t wear white!

CalmdownJanet · 04/02/2019 21:57

I've been to loads of Irish weddings, my own included, and never once seen a fight!

VenusClapTrap · 04/02/2019 21:58

Don’t wear black.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Weddings
CalmdownJanet · 04/02/2019 22:00

It is not bad manners to ask what colour the bridesmaids are wearing and nobody has ever "not revealed" their bridesmaids colours no sane person at least Confused

choli · 04/02/2019 22:04

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treaclesoda · 04/02/2019 22:05

Oh and just a heads up, we don’t reveal the colours of our bridesmaids dresses. It’s bad manners to ask & it’s fun to guess the colours before they walk down the isle.

Yes to this. I'm in N Ireland and it would be beyond rude to expect to know the colour of the bridesmaids dresses before the wedding. My daughter was bridesmaid a while back and despite her being a child at the time, I didn't know what the dress was like until I saw her walk into the church.

ILoveMaxiBondi · 04/02/2019 22:05

You’ll not need flip flops OP. All the women just kick their shoes off and dance in their tights or bare feet. You can’t do a reel in flip flops! Wink many’s a time I’ve sat on the edge of a hotel bath with a gaggle of girls to wash our feet before crawling into bed. Good times.

Fujexa · 04/02/2019 22:07

I have been to a million Irish weddings and never once saw a "brawl" or anything similar...definitely not the norm in my circles!!

ILoveMaxiBondi · 04/02/2019 22:08

And just for anyone who has mischief in mind, this is a nice thread, we don’t need anyone making sly digs about how Irish women dress or look. If you can’t be nice... be elsewhere.

SgtFredColon · 04/02/2019 22:10

I have never heard that about the bridesmaid’s dresses.

And OP, lots of women get their hair and make up professionally done but lots don’t also so don’t feel you have to. I’ve never done it just do my own and most of my friends do also.

RedForShort · 04/02/2019 22:15

Threads about weddings on here always seem to be full of people confidently give definite facts.

I've never given a gift of €250! Not even to family. I have to find enough cash to merely get to weddings without forking out double my plate as a cash gift!! 'Cover your plate' is a guide certainly but I don't think that translate to €125 each person.

Also wouldn't class them as 'very dressy' either. (Though i appriciate thats subjective.) Certainly not scruffy affairs - but generally weddings where ever people dress up (Coast type dresses) don't they?

Format tends to be service, meal (loads to eat), band followed by a dj till late.

cstaff · 04/02/2019 22:15

OP if your invite says presence not present they do mean that. I'm irish and my mam went to a friend's wedding last year which said the same and I know they meant it. They were a more mature couple who would have had everything. Check it out with other guests.

BelfortGabbz · 04/02/2019 22:17

Just wear a nice dress, have your hair done, relax and enjoy the day.
I'm sure you'll have fun - far less stuffy than English weddings.
I had a great time once I joined in the Irish dancing.

Rainatnight · 04/02/2019 22:23

Um, so I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that not all Irish weddings are as described here, and some of what you see here might be more the norm in some social circles than others.

No one I know would expect a big cash gift, or matching up dos, etc.

Can you check in with anyone else you know who's going?

RedForShort · 04/02/2019 22:23

Also never got professional make up, blow dry or spray tan for a wedding. Some people do, but they will probably tend to anyway if they were going out somewhere special. So if you don't normally and don't want to then it's no big deal.

Ha! OP, you'll end up going to this wedding expecting it to be some madly different wedding to anything you've experienced before. Most notable difference for me is the food. You won't go hungry!

Nuyearnume · 04/02/2019 22:25

I’m Irish and never seen a fight at a wedding either. Most weddings I’ve been to now have a band inbetween the chapel and dinner - with a few free drinks don’t know if that will be the case with a 3pm wedding? Definitely cash gift. I would recommend hair and make up - doesn’t have to be ott but it is the done thing. Most of all enjoy yourself ! Someone here has probably been to the place you’re going we aren’t a massive country lol

ny20005 · 04/02/2019 22:26

@choli have you been watching too many ' my big fat Gypsy wedding' 😂

evilharpy · 04/02/2019 22:30

I've been to millions of Irish weddings, I'm Irish and my aunties all bred like rabbits so I have tons of cousins.

Hats and fascinators abound. The most recent one I was at was two years ago and I felt very out of place without one. And yes they are very dressy. Everyone seems to come dressed as the mother of the bride. Professional hair/nails/makeup is very common.

Usually the meal is later than billed, often we've not sat down till getting on for 5pm after a 12pm ceremony, so have a sandwich or something in between. Not all that long after the meal finishes the evening guests will arrive and more food will be brought out. You'll be absolutely stuffed in the later part of the day, but hungry in the early afternoon.

Dancing usually starts around 10pm, maybe 9 if you're lucky. There's usually a live band for a couple of hours followed by a cheesy DJ till about 2am.

I've never been to an Irish wedding that didn't have a cash bar.

Child-free weddings are not common or at least I've never been to one.

Rockbird · 04/02/2019 22:31

Agree with last few posts. Some weddings are dressy, some not so much. No one is going to turf you out of the place if you don't meet these supposed standards! And nothing like the amounts of money mentioned here have changed hands. But they do last about 12 hours longer than an English wedding!

custardlover · 04/02/2019 22:33

The thing is, Ireland is a whole country, with all sorts of people living there. What a lot of people have described sounds quite alien to me but I understand that my family is from the rural west where the emphasis has been on traditional music and dancing more than spray tans and brawls in car parks but, like I said, a complete country with different regions, accents and customs. Ask your friends what the form will be.

RedForShort · 04/02/2019 22:35

Seen fights at wedding. Don't think they are a requirement though. The couple don't get professional fighters in.

Fewer fights in recent years now I think about it. Maybe it was a 90s trend ...

I of course might not be the best to ask, not been to a 'stuffy' English wedding so not going to say Irish wedding are more fun/better. (They are enjoyable though!!)

RockyFlintstone · 04/02/2019 22:57

Everyone seems to come dressed as the mother of the bride.

Yes, this. Everyone wears 'exclusive boutique' mother of the bride style outfits, complete with headwear, even quite young women. Defo hair and makeup professionally done a lot of the time.

Have never seen a fight at an Irish wedding.

NyaNinjago · 04/02/2019 23:11

'Everyone' does not wear mother of the bride type outfits Hmm ! Some people do get hair and make up done but lots don't. They are quite dressy but think Coast type dresses. A lot of us will just order something from asos or the like. It will also vary a bit depending on where the wedding is. Where I am in guests that aren't family don't tend to wear hats or fascinators.

They are great craic though and will definitely go on into the mornin. Presents do tend to be quite generous but if you are travelling a bit of a distance to attend I think around €100 is more than enough.

NyaNinjago · 04/02/2019 23:12

Oh and I have never seen a fight at a wedding.

cstaff · 04/02/2019 23:29

Where is the venue. If it is well known chances are someone on here will have been and will be able to give you an idea of what to expect.