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Original poster

Irish Weddings

55 replies

walkingtheplank · 04/02/2019 20:35

We are attending an Irish civil ceremony in April. I've noticed that often when there is a thread on Mumsnet about Weddings, someone will say they do something differently - but I can't think of any of those suggestions now,

So, what are the quirks of Irish weddings - is there an expectation of guests being particularly dressy, is there an expected minimum gift (we've had the presence not present poem). TBH I'm assuming its the same as in the UK but good to have a heads up if there is something obvious.

The wedding ceremony itself is at 3pm and guests will be from Ireland, England and Canada.

OP posts:
AlwaysSkintInFebruary · 04/02/2019 20:39

They're much more fun Grin

IME people expect you to cover your plate, and gifts are usually quite large amounts of money.

They tend to go on for a lot longer, especially if people are travelling- the night before, the wedding can go on until the early hours, then a barbecue the next day.

widgetbeana · 04/02/2019 20:50

Don't sit at the very back of the church, it is quite common for members of the local community to come and sit at the back or upstairs (if there is one) and watch the service. I am from Ireland and did this quite a lot as a child with my gran. If people we knew from local area or our church were getting married we would pop along to the service to see them, sometimes just waiting outside, but often sitting at the back!

Can you imagine the bridezilla drama of some brides here if that happened!

Fujexa · 04/02/2019 20:53

Irish weddings are very dressy, usually its a cash bar, and expect to be dancing/ singing/ having fun until sometime between 3 - 6 am at any decent one Grin

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Brokenfurnitureandroses · 04/02/2019 20:54

The expected gift is €200 to €250 per couple irrespective of the poem. Often the wedding will go on well into the night/early hours of the morning. There is usually a full sit-down dinner in the evening with snacks (sandwiches, sausages, etc) later on about 10/11pm.

Fujexa · 04/02/2019 20:56

The average gift is quite a lot, 150-200 euros per couple, but if you are travelling to attend, i think most reasonable couples would not expect you to put a fortune in the card..

widgetbeana · 04/02/2019 21:00

I disagree about gift. Family and old family friends are often expected to give more (older generation thing) but the younger generations, especially if you have traveled. Are not expected to pay nearly as much.

Maybe83 · 04/02/2019 21:05

I have never given less than a 100e and usually more.

Very dressey, cash bars usually with some alcohol included, lots of food and dancing singing until all hours!.

Most wedding I have been to we are all still up at 5- 5.30 in residents bar.

I love a wedding.

DramaAlpaca · 04/02/2019 21:09

IME Irish weddings are very dressy, go on very late at night, involve lots of singing, dancing & drinking and are brilliant fun. Irish wedding guests are very generous with cash gifts.

ShakeYourTailFeathers · 04/02/2019 21:09

The one I went to was a great time. Half the family got up and sang with the band, did a bit of irish dancing etc. There was a LOT of booze Grin

Full Irish breakfast in the B&B the next day. Well called for Grin

AndSheWas85 · 04/02/2019 21:09

Been to two last year one in Ireland and one in the UK. The Irish one was a civil ceremony in a hotel with over 200 guests, very glam affair and quite dressy. The UK One was much lower key in a small village church.
TBH there wasn't much difference between the two, UK more low key affair the Irish wedding going on into the early hours. Both great though. And I don't think there is anything extra you need to do/bring for an Irish wedding.
Enjoy yourselfSmile.

Beerflavourednipples · 04/02/2019 21:12

Very dressy and a very large monetary gift.

There also seems to be a new trend for 'after parties' the evening after the wedding, and this even appears on the invite sometimes so you are RSVPing to two events.

Be prepared to stay up very late!

BelfortGabbz · 04/02/2019 21:17

My DH works for an Irish company so we have been to many - in Ireland and England.
They are FANTASTIC!
We gave around 150 euros but wouldn't have felt awkward giving much less. They just want you there to share the day and everyone's always so friendly and warm.
As for dress, pretty much the same as other weddings I've attended.
Be prepared to drink and jig a lot!

Original poster
walkingtheplank · 04/02/2019 21:20

We're going with 2 pre-teens so I'm hoping to be excused the very late night, especially as the worst hangover I've ever was the morning after the night before with the bride's parents. However, we're staying in the Reception hotel so no excuse really.

I thought it would be dressy. I'm not very dressy really and would hate to look like I've overdone it but I get the sense that it would be impossible to overdo it.

OP posts:
0hT00dles · 04/02/2019 21:22

Generally if very close friends/family, gift is circa €250. Friends about the €150-200 mark.

There will most likely be a full sit down meal before an evening function. After the wedding, there’ll probably be some drinks/canapés before the main meal.

People tend to get very dressed up. I’d advise trying to book somewhere for hair and makeup as that’s what most people do.

Cash bar but usually wine on tables with the toast drink paid for by a father of one the party.

Be prepared to dance and sing the night away. Depending on the location of the wedding, it will go on until the early hours. I know guests stayed up til 7am at mine but I crashed at 4:45am to be exact😂

Pack a pair of flats or flip flops. You’ll need them.

There’ll be plenty of food to keep you going but eat a big breakfast as the drinking starts before the dinner

Original poster
walkingtheplank · 04/02/2019 21:27

I was just thinking that I'll need flip flops!

OP posts:
lavenderbluedilly · 04/02/2019 21:27

Agree with those who say v dressy - many of the female guests will have professionally done make-up, nails etc. We are Irish and got married a couple of years ago, most guests gave between £150 and £250! (we didn’t expect this and didn’t ask for money)

BelfortGabbz · 04/02/2019 21:27

One thing I did notice in Ireland, they weren't big on hats and fascinatas. That might be just the ones I went to though.

Beerflavourednipples · 04/02/2019 21:31

Yes, a lot of invites have lists of local hairdressers, nails etc so you can go and get done.

The ones I have been to have always been very big on hats and fascinators.

stroan · 04/02/2019 21:32

We had a family wedding in Ireland in december, it was great fun.

Very, very dressy, especially compared to the Scottish weddings I’ve been to. Most women had up-dos (all exactly the same!) and pro make up. The hairdresser who did my curly blow dry in the morning was a bit shocked I didn’t want it up! I know my SILs typically spend several hundred euro on a wedding outfit and they are from boutiques, rarely high street.

We found there was a lot of hanging about in between the ceremony and meal. I realised too late that most people had just gone back to their hotel rooms - they weren’t missed and I wish we’d done that.

The dancing part of the evening reception didn’t start until after 10 and went on until 3-ish. I was very grateful for an exhausted 3 year old flower girl who had to go to bed at 11. I can’t handle a late night these days!

For recent weddings (one family, one friend) we gave a personalised gift (not really the done thing) plus some cash. We couldn’t afford the going rate but didn’t want to seem too miserly. Gifts from Irish guests at our wedding ranged from €100-400, incredibly generous and always cash.

anniehm · 04/02/2019 21:44

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Original poster
walkingtheplank · 04/02/2019 21:45

I've just looked at the venue's wedding packages which include a DJ from midnight to 2am - what sort of timing is that? I might have to a nap first!

OP posts:
Nativityriot · 04/02/2019 21:49

Def a professional blowdry. Maybe get a stylist in eg John Lewis or house of Fraser to help you with a dress - I am Irish but lived away for ages and used to forget how brilliant people were at home with coordinating accessories, not just grabbing an ancient clutch that does for everything.

You sometimes get a nice cup of tea or coffee at the hotel just after the service whic is lussshhhhhh.

0hT00dles · 04/02/2019 21:54

Band first. Then dj. So a band probably from 8pm until 11-30pm or thereabouts. Band is usual for first dance, cutting of cake etc. My dj went until 3:30 as we’d pretty much booked out the hotel. So they didn’t stop the music!

A 3pm ceremony is pretty late by Irish standards - a lot are 1pm or 2pm so there shouldn’t be too much hanging around the venue etc. The main thing is when the pics are taken. But as I said before, canapés and drinks (usually covered by the hosts) of either tea/coffee or champagne.

Any wedding I’ve been to-or my own- there’s been no fights. Everyone gets along and enjoys the day and mixes and chats. It’s all in good spirits and no rows.

CalmdownJanet · 04/02/2019 21:55

walkingtheplank there will be a band first then DJ after, so band will play until the DJ starts

LivLemler · 04/02/2019 21:55

There will be a band following the meal and before the DJ. They'll do the first dance etc, and all the standards that the aunties will dance to. Then the DJ typically has a younger feel. But, people of all ages will be dancing all night if it's a good wedding. God I hate dancing, and hate that part of weddings.

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