Am I delusional to think I can read people

[minimouse456]

and that I am a good judge of character?

The older I get, the better I seem to get at it.

I will admit though that completing mental state assessments is part of my job.

I can't describe it exactly. A large part of it is my gut feeling about someone. And a large part is obviously being able to read body language.

I can pick up a lot of "good" in people. Unfortunately, I pick up a lot of "bad" also.

I can tell instantly if someone does not like me. I can tell that someone actually has bad anxiety, even though they might come across to others as being unfriendly.

I have a friend of a friend with whom I had previously gotten on well with. I can feel that she has bad feelings towards me recently. I have walked back in to a room and I can instantly feel the change in atmosphere and I knew she had been talking about me. I have always just known that she is one of those people who like you as long as you are not doing better than her or you don't have something that she wants.

Does anyone else feel like this?

That sounds perfectly normal.

Yeah, I think that’s just called being intuitive

Is your intuition always correct?

How do you know yours is? Have you been correct about every assumption you’ve ever made? In a lot of cases, how have you found out? Presumably with some people, you do t getcto find out unless you’re following their every move?

Very true @SmackthePhony I cant always know for definite every time. Many times my intuition has been proven to be correct.

How can you know these things for sure though?

People are complex and you can't tell what's going on internally based on appearances 100% of the time.

It's confirmation bias. You remember the times you were correct and forget or discount the ones you weren't or nothing was proven.

That’s a pretty normal level of social understanding. There are a number of physical ‘tells’ that almost universally accompany certain feelings/intentions or even cause them. Someone who has a normal level of social experience will pick up on most of these.

Totally agree here - it's sometimes odd, sussed out an interview candidate without speaking to him, just knew he was a wrong-un! I was floored when the governors gave him a job but they revoked it (without telling us why) within 48hours of him being appointed. I think it's rarely common to be honest, definitely not psychic/woo related!

I don't think I am psychic I just worry that there is a fine line being intuition and paranoia. Interested to hear other people's experiences of their intuition being correct bs not correct.

What’s ‘bad’ in people? Could you say more? I’m curious given that you do mental health assessments? How do you assess for bad? 🧐

I have a sense of people when I meet them but don’t tap into it/focus on it. I’ve no faith in it and put it down to an enquiring mind.
My friend is like this and she always goes with her gut but I think it’s definitely confirmation bias.
She sometimes rings me to ask if I’m ok as she got a feeling about me, it’s always a false alarm.
If you are putting your feelings to the test every time you meet someone you’re missing an opportunity to connect with them.

I know what you mean. I work in a job where people come into see me for something, and I can tell instantly that they are actually worrying about something else. It's hard to explain without sounding woo (which I'm not), but I sort of lock onto their feelings, which come off people like energy waves.

The hard thing about it is that I can almost feel actual pain from them, which can be exhausting. And bitterness, which is harder than pain.

I've always been like this, so not surprised I found a career that is like mine. My DH and many many friends have commented on this without me telling them, so I don't think it's normal intuition.

Be very careful with this.

There is a danger that you start to think that your intuition is always correct.

And it won’t be.

It's just reading people. Some are better at it than others. Why do you think it's paranoia? Do you often decide people dislike you or think about you negatively?

I tend to make snap judgements about people based on my first impression. I'm not often wrong - one woman turned out to be a cancer hoaxer. Then again, another person who gave me the chills on first meeting them, was actually really nice.

“I will admit though that completing mental state assessments is part of my job”
I hope you don’t base these on intuition and gut feeling......

"It's confirmation bias. You remember the times you were correct and forget or discount the ones you weren't or nothing was proven."

That ^.

I've watched people who say what you claim, who constantly get it wrong. I'm 51.

If you are an expert in the effects of medication or all of the conditions such as ASD etc, then I stand corrected.

Or as long as you are challenging your bias as it happens and you know its got nothing to do with your assumption about physical aspects of the person. Or your own issues/jealously etc.

" I tend to make snap judgements about people based on my first impression. I'm not often wrong - one woman turned out to be a cancer hoaxer. Then again, another person who gave me the chills on first meeting them, was actually really nice."

So you are wrong, often, then and probably more than you realise.

We all have intuition and can pick up when someone’s a bit ‘off’ with us and we generally can form accuratish impressions about strangers, this ability obviously gets honed by life experience and observation. Some have this intuition to a more advanced degree either based on their job, like you OP, or practice like what mentalists do they very quickly read a million little body-language, facial tic and appearance signals and can form them into a pretty accurate picture of the individual.

If you think something’s up with your friend then there’s something probably up with your friend, maybe you should ask her.

@BertrandRussell of course not. Obviously I have to comment on, for example, eye contact, objective mood, speech flow /rhythm, rapport and such. I have to be professional. I cannot write "My gut feeling tells me that Mr X is a horrible person who most likely abuses his wife"

Read Paul Eckman. It’s possible you’re subconsciously picking up on micro expressions. I think I do this. One of his team has been in the room during conversations I had, and my “intuition” was backed up by his scientific observations.

I wish I had this skill! I'm terrible at reading people and always get it wrong. I also have a lot of people tell me 'I thought you hated me when I first met you' when really I'm just shy!

Thank you @Howmanysleepstilchristmas. I have just googled him and his work looks interesting.

I do not make a judgement on anyone based solely on their appearance. A first impression of someone is often incorrect.

I try not to focus on my intuition and I certainly do not make decisions based solely on it.

It is a overwhelming feeling that just automatically happens now. At the risk of sounding delusional I feel it is different to most people's intuition.

My gut feeling tells me that Mr X is a horrible person who most likely abuses his wife

Well no, I'm sure you don't write that, but if you're convinced you have a facility for judging people based on something other than their behaviour, then doubtless it can bias your thoughts and findings, even if you think it doesn't.