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Original poster

Can we have a chat of how exhausting it is to apply for jobs, get interviews and then not get it?

70 replies

Needadoughnut · 04/02/2019 10:09

In the past year I've apply for God only knows how many jobs. I've had at least 6 serious job interviews in the past 4 months. Two have been with a presentation I don't of a committee. Yes, I've had one offer so far (after being out in a reserve list), but it's just so demoralising! And I know I have to keep at it because the one job I have managed to get is not the best (long commute and low salary).

OP posts:
Original poster
Needadoughnut · 05/02/2019 07:03

And I hate the feedback of "there was someone more qualified"... I'm sure they would have been able to see that from the application stage!!

OP posts:
OnlineAlienator · 05/02/2019 07:07

Spent 10mo jobhunting, never even got an interview. Was a fulltime job in itself searching and applying. Job i did get isnt working out imo so back to it, with my CV looking shittier by the day :(

Original poster
Needadoughnut · 05/02/2019 07:19

online that's what I fear might happen with this civil service job. Unless I end up climbing the ladder but God knows how long that'd take me

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Jobs
treaclesoda · 05/02/2019 07:24

When I was in my 20s I was in a job that I detested, to the point where it was making me ill. (Combination of bullying and extremely heavy workload for very little pay). I was obsessed with job hunting. Obsessed. It occupied my mind constantly, I spent evenings and weekends filling in forms, I sometimes sat up all night at the computer desperately searching for something I could apply to. I lost friends and my relationship with my family was strained because all I could think of was getting a better job. It took me five years to even get an interview, and nine years to get a new job. I was completely crushed, I had suicidal thoughts, I cried every day for every one of those nine years. I saw people who were no more competent than me but we're more confident climb the ladder whilst I was stuck.

It has taken until my mid 40s to secure a job with training and professional development and all I hear constantly now is 'I can't believe you waited so long to decide to train, especially when you're so obviously good at it'. No, I wanted to do this 20 years ago but was completely unable to get a foot in the door.

I have been through ill health and bereavement but hand down the most painful experience of my life was job hunting.

Oblomov19 · 05/02/2019 07:31

I hate how dismissive agencies are. I invest a lot emotionally, read up on the company before interview. I plan my interview outfit and makeup. Arrange for Dh to pick Ds2 from school. All this effort for nothing. I don't even get a call back from the agent.

I'm told this latest job is flexible. I get there. He wants the 2 days I already work. Then he tells me he really wants 5 days. So not flexible then? Why did the agent waste my time?

okokokok · 05/02/2019 07:41

Yes, I hate it. I had an interview 3 weeks ago, front of house work to fit in around partners shifts. I was pretty much told I had it at the interview but to come in for a 3 hour trial to see if I liked it. I did the trial, was left on my own a lot having to wing it basically. Told I did brilliantly. Didn't hear anything else so I emailed to see what was happening. Told I had the job but had to complete online training. I have done the manadory 8 hours training, emailed to say I had completed it. Not heard anything back again. This was a week ago. It is making me so anxious not knowing what is happening! So I have done 11 hours work unpaid and still none the wiser what is happening!

Original poster
Needadoughnut · 05/02/2019 07:49

"ok" I was almost forced by my employment advisor to do what you did. I said there was no chance in hell I'd do it. I've been a KP and enjoyed it but the hours are anything but family friendly

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misscockerspaniel · 05/02/2019 09:39

@Spiderplantsalad What sort of work do you do or want to do? I am happy to look online for you Smile

I went for an interview and I knew I was in with a chance as they were only seeing three people. So I had my haircut, dry cleaned my suit, read up on the company etc. As soon as I walked in through the door, I was told that I wasn't going to get the job because I was "overqualified" and that he just wanted to meet me.

spiderplantsalad · 05/02/2019 10:06

Thanks misscockerspaniel, I'm actually really good at finding jobs and getting interviews, it's just the interview stage that is beyond me but I appreciate the offer.

Need a doughnut, I've pm'd you, thank you!

Original poster
Needadoughnut · 05/02/2019 12:19

@spider I've messaged you back :)

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Disfordarkchocolate · 05/02/2019 12:59

I'm about to start all this. I need to leave my job and I'm dreading how much emotional labour job hunting uses. I need to plan some strategies for coping with rejection. I need to move on before I end up even more unwell so I have to focus on that, however, being in a job/organisation where you don't fit crushes your self-esteem.

Original poster
Needadoughnut · 05/02/2019 17:40

chocolate my only advice is to secure something before you quit. That was my biggest mistake

OP posts:
Disfordarkchocolate · 05/02/2019 18:55

Definitely agree **Needadoughnut, after being made redundant it took a year to get a job. I think they could smell the desperation at some interviews.

student26 · 05/02/2019 19:03

I had an interview last week. Was told I did great, very strong interview. Didn’t get the job but they kindly said ‘with that interview you won’t be unemployed long!’ Gee, thanks, that will be why you were my 12th failed interview in six months is it? It’s so disheartening.

rockingthelook · 05/02/2019 19:50

I feel your pain so much!, was made redundant from a stressful job I really loved last year (after 13 years), it was the worst time of my life, I applied for lots, had some interviews where I got down to the last 2 candidates, all 3 vacancies went internally, I was fuming, one of them took me two weeks to prepare for, what was the point if they already had someone in mind. Another job I was overqualified for and was interviewed by a jumped up prick who obviously felt undermined by me and tried to belittle me during the interview, including changing locations of the sites I was supposed to be responsible for when I asked about away from home work, he knew it was not possible for me to go that far for work.Many others I did not receive any response at all to an application that I had painstakingly put together, it was the worse time of my life. I am now in a role that is financially difficult to get used to, however it is permanent, less stressful and demanding and the employers are lovely. The thought of ever being unemployed or having to go for another interview scare the hell out of me, I would rather stay where I am, be skint etc then ever look again. I wish everyone looking much luck, it's horrible, demoralizing and stressful

WhentheRabbitsWentWild · 05/02/2019 20:14

What Birdsgotta said

Its worse when you are the "wrong side" of 50 . Don't even get interviews , just emails saying I am not the right fit at this time .
Its very soul destroying.

Dowser · 05/02/2019 20:19

What’s a KP doughnut
£1200 a month is a good salary
What do you do?

I think my dh at 58 was there to make the numbers up at his computer interviews at 58
He’d been ceo of his own computer company. Has a maths degree...all counted for nothing

RollerJed · 05/02/2019 20:22

I've always got my perm roles through temping first. It's quite standard in my area because it's hard to prove on your CV how good you are, is temping an option?

I also took 10 years of unrelated work off my CV as I didn't see the point of it and thought it shows my age.

Dh is going through this at the moment. Second interview tomorrow that he's been studying for. I don't think I can take it (for him) if he's unsuccessful.

PinkOboe · 05/02/2019 20:28

I’m temping in and entry level admin position. I’ve got a masters and 25 years experience.

We’re broke. Totally utterly skint. I’m so so down about it and losing all confidence in my own abilities.

I’m applying for all sorts and have had s handful of interviews. The last one was as others have said, I was visualizing my future there, then got told they felt they connected better with another candidate. The interview went really really well, we were chatty and interested in things each other said...I thought. It felt very personal :( totally soul destroying

ToManderleyAgain · 05/02/2019 20:45

To the posters saying that you’ve not been given feedback, have you asked for it? I’ve just recruited a small number of people for a project (I don’t work in HR myself) and when any of the unsuccessful candidates has asked me for feedback I’ve invited them to talk it through on the phone. I wouldn’t offer feedback if it wasn’t specifically requested as I don’t have the time, but I think if someone has made the effort to come to interview then you owe some feedback to them if they ask.

Iamtheworst · 05/02/2019 21:03

I’ve always asked for feedback, often it’s sugested in the “we’ll call you by Tuesday” chat. 5 interviews, only one came back with feedback that said my presentation was great, totally changed the way they thought about the project, and they were going to use model. They had chosen the another candidate though.
I’m glad it’s not just me sending cvs and applications out into the ether.

Original poster
Needadoughnut · 05/02/2019 21:14

I work as a pollster and doing some freelancing for Google. But it's a very unreliable income

OP posts:
CurlyMango · 06/02/2019 21:18

Why don’t they put end dates and salaries on the job adds? Is it a real job or just fishing?

Fairyliz · 06/02/2019 21:34

I'm another one who would say don't bother trying to get a new job after 50.
I was in a job that I hated, so decided to apply for a new job. Did my research, only applied for jobs where I exactly met the personnel specification and spent hours on the applications.

What happened? Nothing at all. Employers see your age and immediately bin your application.

ElizabethofYork1 · 06/02/2019 21:41

Op, I posted similar to this, on 30 days, earlier!

I feel your pain. Hang on in there. Something will turn for us both.