How to be me?

[NotSoThinLizzy]

I have two DC 9 years and 1. Since having my youngest I feel like I'm not me. I'm knackered all the time. DS is still waking a lot at night. I have no hobbies. I don't go out much without kids like once every 6 months. I just feel like all I am is mum. Don't get me wrong I love being a mum but it's like I've lost myself in the kids. If I do get a rare hour to myself I find myself thinking about the kids, about what needs done around the house ect.
How can I get me back?

What do you want back, did you have a lot of hobbies before? Have you recently stopped working?

I know what you mean. I have 2 dc 3 and 6. I work full time, my days off are all centred around them what needs doing in the house, leaving little time for me. I feel touchedout, washed out and run down with tiredness.

I enjoy the gym and have just started going three times a week for time by myself and my mental wellbeing. It's a 23 hour gym so l am not actually away from them at all as l go when they are in bed. I have been making a point to visit my friends as well so one last week and a different one the week before.

I feel like l need to start doing things with my husband but l think it bothers me more than him.

I did have a wide range of hobbies that I could lose myself in before. I would love to go to the gym but ours are only open during the day. I just think I need some time to myself like a couple of hours a week I would be happy with. Even when kids are in bed DS wakes up every 45mins so need to go up and get him back to sleep

Do any of your hobbies lend themselves to at night, at home? Perhaps a scaled-down version for now. Some gyms have a creche, check the ones near you.

Is your gym open for Saturday mornings? Your OH could take the kids for a bit.

Oh works 6 days a week and dosent want to watch them on his only day off. Bare in mind he dosent do anything with them any other time but that's a whole different story

It can be such a hard time. Maybe, while you're not as able to go out, reading on your hobbies or new things could help you see and keep what interests you? Or listening to audiobooks/podcasts/youtube videos or online classes like on Skillshare and things on areas of interest can help you try out things? Do you have other support other than your OH that could help?

I've been having this on and off for a few years now. My most recent bleh was on my clothes - I fell into an easy, comfy layers wardrobe and now I feel a bit lost in trying to figure out what I like and think looks good vs what I just associate with easy for dealing with the kids.

Maybe braindumping the areas that are taking up a lot of head space might help? It's one of the tips Mel Robbins gives in her free Mindset Reset course playlist which has been helpful to me in starting to work on this.

Sounds great will have a look into it. Yes I've done the same with clothes comfy jeans bleh top and a jumper easy stuff. Completely different to my "old" style. We've not long moved house and the bathroom is half stripped DS room still needs painting (he's still in with us atm) seems I need a clone of myself to get anything done 😂