Next door extension

[NDN2019]

Next door have put in plans for extension and loft conversion .
They are also digging out under the extension to create a basement.
They are moving out whilst the work is being done.
I'm feeling so anxious as my DD is sitting her gsces this year. So over the Easter holidays whilst she us studying all this no e and mess will be happening next door.
I know IABU but it's really starting to affect my mental health.
And I'm feeling so angry towards them.
Don't know why I'm posting I just need to vent I guess

I can understand you being stressed. (Though loads of people will say it's their right!). My mum's NDN did this over the course of a summer she was home having cancer treatment and she found it a nightmare.

Given your DD's exams, could you ask them to shift the timings a little bit? I think I would.

You can't ask people to out their lives on hold because your DD is doing exams.

Is there a library near you OP? My DD did a lot of revising in ours. Or can she revise with a friend?

I get your upset, but there's nothing you can do about it, unfortunately.

I know I can't as them to put their lives on hold. But I just feel like it's the worst time to do it.
Im feeling so stressed about it and I know I'm being unreasonable but I can't help it.
I don't want to fall out with them, they are lovely but I can't control the way I'm feeling

No library unfortunately. Like I said I just need to vent.

You're projecting.

Your daughter may not even notice the noise, about which you can do nothing.

If she does, you will need to sort out something else for her - noise cancelling headphones, a library, a friend or relative's house.

Why are you angry though ?
It'll be a matter of weeks a extension takes average 12 weeks so hopefully finished for Easter .
My NDN was pissed off when we had our extension built mainly because various builders parking near his house , but it's temporary. Also I didn't have much sympathy because the stress involved you wouldn't believe so a neighbour winging about someone parked in his space I could do without.
If it's a problem knock on it'll be during the day and your dd will be at school . I honestly think your worrying is a bit premature.

EdWinchester
Maybe I am.
Their children go to top private schools. They put such an importance on education.
But my DD has to sit in the heat with windows shut and noice cancelling headphones on her head to get through this?

But you can't do anything about it! Our neighbours had an extension involving driven piles. The noise and vibration was bad and caused lots of superficial cracking in our house. But that bit was only a week or so.

You have to just get on with it. Stressing over it will make things worse.

The extension hasn’t even started and it’s a problem for you. Don’t become that neighbour.

It’s normally a 12 week build. You don’t know their timings. Once you do work round it. Can your daughter study in a library or the school (where she’ll get more done with less distractions).

I get the sense that you just don’t like your neighbours for being wealthier. Your dd will be fine. If the work is too disruptive she can into town and revise in a cafe.

Or she could sit at another side of the house, or with a friend, or we could stop freaking out about exams.

Digging out a basement will take longer than 12 weeks but planning approval for work like that can also take months depending on your local authority. Some councils have strict rules about basements now and you could well find it's not approved and then there's an appeal, all of which could take ages.

I worked from home throughout my neighbour's extension and it was only loud and annoying some of the time. A lot of the work didn't make more than background noise. It's just part of life, your dd will be fine.

Are you getting any help for your anxiety?

If they’ve Only just put plans in it may be way later than April when they get permission and then they’ve got to find a builder who can do it. It may not be until the summer when DD has finished all her exams. Plus DD will probably spend most of Easter at school revising.

Thank you for your replies. I know I'm making a big deal of this.
I don't want to be 'one if those neighbours' bit can't help feeling that they will be away from it all and I'm stuck with all the disruption.
It's hard enough getting her to study do suggestion she takes all her notes and sit in a cafe is definitely not going to work.

Racecardriver I actually find your comments quite insulting. I stated about the private school thing because of their importance on education. Nothing to do with wealth.
I know IABU as I said I wanted to vent

I think you’re right to be concerned actually.

We have had building work going on next to us since May. The owner de-camped to his parents, this meant it was just another site for the builders who didn’t have to consider anyone but themselves.

So we had swearing, yelling, disgusting stories about fucking women yelled from one side of the site to the other, noise from dawn to dusk, dangerous practice and debris everywhere. My god daughters were subject to lewd comments throughout the time they stayed here.

It meant that all last summer we had to sit indoors or go out. Our requests to tone it down were met with abuse unsurprisingly and relations with our neighbour, who we’d warmly welcomed are destroyed.

It’s never “only” 12 weeks. If you object you’re “that neighbour”. The only people that count are the people that own the house and their builders.

Surely she will be on Leave of Absence or Study Leave then? Couldn't she just go into school and revise in an empty classroom?

Get her some earplugs and I'm sure she will be fine. Do you have a relatives house she could go to some days to study? A lot of teens I know tend to study whilst listening to music although I've never worked out how but maybe that could work for your daughter.

It's not the best timing but unfortunately there's not really anything you can do.

Has it actually got planning permission yet?

Yes it's been approved but we have been told we need to get a surveyor to act on our behalf .
They also want to build right up to our boundary which I'm not sure is ok?
I'm just worried about the disruption . I know I can't do anything about it.

The surveyor would be for a party wall agreement, but yes they can build up to boundary. Diid you comment on the application when it was pending?

Have you asked whether they would delay work until end June? Check the exam timetable for the specific dates. I' m sure even on when on study leave your dc could go in and use a room or library at school. There are often revision sessions anyway.

No we didn't comment on it. I phoned the planning office and was basically told there was no point objecting.
I don't actually want to object, I'm pleased for them as the house will look amazing once finished.
I did think of asking them to push it back until after the exams but from the responses in here I guess that would come across as unreasonable.
But thank you for the replies from people who understand my anxiety about it all.
I just need to make this time as comfortable for my DD as possible. She is stressed enough as it is

You are not projecting and have every right to be concerned about this. As every sensible mother would be with a child about to sit important exams!

Could you put a contingency plan in place for the Easter hols, incase the noise is disruptive. Perhaps she could stay with family elsewhere? Or you could book a holiday cottage somewhere quiet, no distractions. Or an intensive revision course? For weekends, if they are continuing building over the weekend you could negotiate with friends, someone may have a quiet study space.