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Original poster

Feel old but not old...

11 replies

Oldbutnotold · 02/02/2019 20:08

I am 27 about to have dc4 in the next 3 months. Love my kids to bits and love my dh. But feeling old now and like I have missed out on young life. I was a child carer, mother married 3 times and i suffered a lot of emotional abuse and left home at 18 and feel like I never had a childhood or was allowed to be young. Married someone older than me. 15 years older. This will be my last dc. I have mixed feelings. Happy as it's been hard but so used to looking after others that I can't imagine not having more kids.

I want to study to start a career when dc4 is a bit older but have no idea what I would like to do.

I have no hobbies
Family no contact and have no one to watch the kids. Dh works 6 to 7 days a week so I don't expect him to take the kids on his own as his rare day off is a family day. I know all of this is my choice and made my bed and I am definitely lieing in it. Just starting to wander if I should have made some wiser choices.... give my head a wabble please. I know I am lucky to have my dh and healthy lovely kids. Just feel like I'm heading towards 30 with no real life experience other than child rearing!

OP posts:
Original poster
Oldbutnotold · 02/02/2019 20:56

Ok will wobble my own head

OP posts:
Sarahandduck18 · 02/02/2019 21:02

Just make a plan for once dc4 starts nursery/ school.

Is your dp on board with supporting your career/study in 5 years?

—or does he want you chained to the sink—

Original poster
Oldbutnotold · 02/02/2019 21:10

Well no he wants me to work for him. I do work from home for his business but not much just some admin as I have the kids too. Not sure I really want to do that though...

OP posts:
Chewbecca · 02/02/2019 21:13

You’re young, you have bags of time to do other stuff. Make some plans to make sure that time doesn’t slip away.

Original poster
Oldbutnotold · 02/02/2019 21:14

The horrible thing is I have no idea what I would like to do. No hobbies no interests.... I feel very empty

OP posts:
Chewbecca · 02/02/2019 21:24

That’s kind of ok too, you are young and have 4 kids so haven’t exactly had a lot of time to work this stuff out. But you can start to now, listen, watch, learn, work out where you might want to be in your 40s. No hurry.

Original poster
Oldbutnotold · 02/02/2019 21:27

Thanks Chewbacca. Just feel like it's been a bit of a whirlwind. From one caring role to another. And now I have been thinking about when I am a bit older I may end up caring for my dh. Or not. Who knows how our health will be in the future. Just feel a bit deflated at the moment and questioning my judgements and decisions

OP posts:
scattercushion17 · 02/02/2019 21:31

Hi, I've not read it but 'what colour is my parachute' is supposed to be goid for identifying life goals.

Please dont think you haven't done anything, raising children is amazing! Good luck.

Original poster
Oldbutnotold · 02/02/2019 21:34

Thanks scatter. Will Google it later

OP posts:
Smellbellina · 02/02/2019 21:58

I’ve been there, for me it was a phase, kind of, but I definitely came out the other side and now I’m studying for my new career and really happy with where I am, never would have thought it possible when I was where you are now.
I think what i’ trying to say is don’t worry, you’ll get there and it’s natural to feel the way you do right now so don’t beat yourself up for it.

Original poster
Oldbutnotold · 02/02/2019 22:03

Thanks smellbelina. I hope so. I love my family so much but feel like I should be doing something else as well. But also can't be bothered at the same time.Confused

OP posts:
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