I really need to master being firm but fair without getting wound up! How??

[squelchyeye]

DS is 6 and is seriously testing us. I get it, I know he needs clear boundaries, firm rules in place, consequences, positive praise etc etc but the reality is so bloody hard. Firstly he just doesn't get authority and the fact that parents are in charge and there are some things that he just has to do. Secondly he knows just how to be really annoying and will do so at every opportunity. So when I attempt to tell him no in my calm, firm voice he always seems shocked that I have the audacity and then when I don't back down he kicks off and whinges, whines, cries etc. He's emotionally immature & I am well aware that at his age we shouldn't be having lots of toddler like behaviour (not an exaggeration!) & I am sticking to my guns but it's bloody relentless!! He doesn't back down and it feels like every little thing is a drama. As much as I try and keep my cool I always end up getting wound up by him and then we bicker and the whole thing is so ridiculous and annoying. How do people do it?? When will it end??

Prevention is the key imo- lots of fresh air, very little screen time, as good a diet as possible and routine.

Offering controlled choices- blue coat or green coat, for example.

Minimising situations that you know will cause aggro- e.g. Debenhams on a Sunday at 3pm will be hell on earth. It's a no-go zone for a tricky child.

Easier said than done to not lose your temper, but do try not to let things build up and then let it all go pear-shaped.

This too shall pass.

Very true sunshine. I'm good at healthy diet, fresh air and exercise. Screen time definitely makes him ragey, we've banned the I pad but do rely on the tv. Definitely need a better routine in place too so there is less opportunity to negotiate.

If anyone has any advice on handling rudeness and shouting I'd be grateful. I feel like my words are just white noise to him now.