My closest friend and I have known each other for 16 years, spent a short spell living together, and now live over 200miles apart.
For context I’m in a long term relationship (but no mortgage, kids etc still pretty footloose and fancy free save for my career which is a bit full on). She’s 7 years older than me, single, no kids, she’s a talented writer who does a bit of freelance work, lives in a very affordable part of the country and enjoys a really fun lifestyle on a low income, always out drinking, dating etc. I’ve no clue of any of this is relevant?!
Anyway, a few years ago she got quite an aggressive cancer. Her family are a bit dysfunctional and she didn’t have a partner at the time but my work were amazing and let me take a few days here and there to travel down to be there for her chemo, I was also there overnight when she was admitted once with an infection. I also helped to coordinate and communicate with her other local friends when I couldn’t be there in person. When she was better we also went on a once in a lifetime trip to Sri Lanka just the two of us. Shortly after coming back she got a small tattoo of my initials (as part of a bigger piece on her arm), which was sweet.
I think she’d admit that throughout our friendship she has always been the slightly more needy one (but also wilder and more fun!).. but since her illness/ recovery (and this is where I can’t tell if I’m being unreasonable or not?) the balance has tipped to the friendship being ALL about her.
She can go for weeks and weeks without asking after me and when we do have a catch up call it’s all about who she’s sleeping with or her family drama or whatever.
I initially put her lack of interest in me down to the terrible fatigue that she experienced after her illness, she also suffers with depression. I try, I really really try to make allowances for her health but is she just taking the piss now?
My Dad was unwell over new year, which she knows about, and he had to be admitted for various tests and biopsies. I text her yesterday saying I was feeling weepy and scared as the results were due that afternoon - but still no reply from her this morning (I’ve since found out it is cancer, though thankfully a very slow growing one). Is it ridiculous of me to feel hurt??