Supporting friend who being investigated for workplace bullying

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My friend is very upset about it and as I've never had much experience of workplace bullying in my own life it has really opened my eyes.

She is a good friend and has been for many years. I don't know if she purposely 'bullied' she lacks social awareness in a lot of ways and is quite blunt and abrupt at times.

But now she is very upset and I feel like the investigative process has similarities to bullying as well and it is now targeting my friend. So it seems to create a cycle of upset. Which is interesting.

I've told her to stay professional and follow the process.

The thing is though, the motive of the person doesn't really mean much to the employee struggling in a stressful working environment. Maybe your friend needs to be a bit more reflective and own her part in this dynamic.

There's very little worse than having a person senior to you in the workplace being unpleasant to you because you can't really answer back, so you're in a powerless position. You also can't get away from them and just walk out of the job.

Maybe you're friend could do a bit of training about how to be assertive without being 'blunt and abrupt' so she can show willingness to improve her communication skills. It's very different having a blunt friend who you can pull up on their behaviour or avoid for a while than having a similar boss.

She isn't her boss. They are in equal level positions.

No motive but her personality is most likely the problem.

My friend feels like her (their) boss is supportive as well which I also find interesting as if I was the victim I would also find this upsetting to see. The investigative process seems to perpetuate more upset.

Okay it may not be quite as bad as a boss being abrupt and blunt but the point I made about it being harder to get away from your friend or be rude back in a workplace setting still stands,. As you say it's even harder for the other person if the boss is favouring your friend.

What I meant about motive is the end result will feel the same for the colleague whether your friend means to bully her or not.

I'm not having a go at your friend to be unkind but in my experience people like this tend to end up with multiple complaints in the long run or lots of colleagues leaving to get away from them, so surely it's better to try to improve her behaviour while she has a chance rather than just humouring her that it's okay to be like this.