If you were poor growing up?

[HighlandWorrier]

How has your life turned out? We were rather poor and I remember not even having a proper carpet in my room at one point just a badly fitting off-cut. Never went on holiday abroad like some of my friends at the time. You could say my fortunes have changed, now own two houses have a good disposable income and our kids have everything they need.

I do appreciate everything I have now but feel sad I missed out on some opportunities as a child due to lack of money.

Just wondered if others have started off with that kind of background but ended up doing well for themselves.

I grew up in a poor (but happy) single parent family until she met my step dad. We weren't poor to begin with but we were very neglected and I had to take care of the younger ones or they wouldn't eat or go to school. They ran a pub so would sleep in with hangovers most mornings. I had to make up my sister's feeds for the day, feed her, change her and put her back in her cot and hope mum would wake to feed her for the next one. We were always late for school and I was called to the office to explain why my 5 year old brother was dressed in shorts, wellies, no socks, no vest, no undies or shirt and just a zipped up tracksuit top. He also smelled of wee as I did some days. God knows why it was put on my shoulders. As I'm now older and a parent myself I remember things from childhood in horror. My kids will never sleep without nightwear (unless they want to), no bare mattresses, no playing out on a Saturday in school uniform, no beatings for "laziness", they can shower or bathe whenever they like and no being a witness or a victim of alcohol induced violence.

Yes I was - had a single parent who worked but we still didn’t have much. I didn’t do any after school clubs as DM couldn’t afford them or go on school trips (we lived in an affluent area and trips were like £1300 for a cruise - and this was in the 90’s!).

It drove me ALOT so I’m now a professional and married to one. We are not rich, but lucky that we don’t have to worry about money. I haven’t gone crazy on spending with the children but am giving them opportunities I didn’t have.

Also I've grown up and left school with no qualifications and had no support to go on to higher education. I'm now 40 and still no idea what to do work wise other than pubs, clubs, shops etc. Dh has an ok job but we can't ever afford a holiday etc. I don't have a penny of my own.

I suppose we were technically poor, same situation with inadequate flooring/house in general. I never felt poor though. My parents went into debt to ensure that I had a good education with the help of a scholarship. Everything turned out fine. I know exactly how much I need in life. Just enough to pay for my kids school fees and keep a roof over our head. I can go without eating for a day or two without getting worried about it. I can do without heating etc when I need to. I only worry when I need to worry basically which is good I supppse. Can’t say that we are financially secure. The cost of living is so high I doubt that we will ever be to be very honest. But we get by most of the time and times that we are short I can cope.

Oh walltowall that sounds like a hard childhood. I saw a lot of things no kid should have to see either so I understand what you must have gone through. I hope it's made you stronger as a result I think it has done for me. Still feel sad my parents aren't like most parents but have decided to just get on with it and try to do better by my own kids. So annoying how ungrateful my oldest is, he feels hard done by if we confiscate his phone and says that's abuse he has no idea what really bad parenting is like. Sorry that turned into a bit of an essay. Hugs to you

RACECAR. You go without food to pay school fees!? Really? Why? That sounds miserable

I was poor.
Had loads of jobs as a youngster, gardening, deliveries, waitress, kitchen staff, bar staff (also lived in a pub by then)
I had to leave home at 16(dm hated me)
I rented a room in a shared house for £28 per week the social paid £22 and I made up the rest from my three jobs (YTS as a builder, waiter at weekend's, cab office night shift) the night job paid 50p an hour.
Then I got lucky and got a job with the Civil Service.
If I hadn't fell into that job I wouldn't have had any reason to change jobs and without it I could never afford the mortgage.
It's coming full circle though, illness and WFH part time take a big bite.

We were poor and living in a rough area and our mum was very unsupportive, and did everything she could to crush our self esteem growing up.
If anything it gave me and my brother more drive to get out of that situation. We both went to uni (were in Scotland so fees were paid and we funded or own living costs through work and loan/bursary), we both are happy in our jobs (not “high salary” but fairly good income and good work/life balance- both work in environment and conservation).
I recently bought my first home with DH and my brother is saving for a deposit.
I have one DS and about to have another and it has made me determined to not parent anything like my mum did.
We are not well off or rich, but we are comfortable and live a nice life style that we are happy with 🙂

I was poor growing up. But lucky enough to get a private school place with a bursary.

Which meant I was lucky enough to get into a decent university and do a law degree.

And also meant I was lucky enough to find a great law firm to train with who took me based on my academic record.

It did take years of hard work as well but without the luck of the above I’d probably still be poor. All of my extended family are.

I also met DH when we were both very low earners, he set up a company that’s now making millions, so between us we are comfortable now.

As a result my DC don’t miss out like I did. We have a nice house with enough room for everyone that’s pleasant to be in, we have a car each, can buy nice food and go on holidays, none of which I had growing up.

At 16 though I knew I didn’t want the same life and I’d do whatever I could to change it, I was just lucky enough to be able to actually do it.

My family were stretched. No central heating for a long time, scrimping and saving, hand me down clothing, few holidays.

Wouldn't change it for the world. I was so loved and happy and it means I really appreciate everything I earn now (and having new clothes!). I never regret not experiencing more delights in childhood - I have made up for it. I see a lot of rich kids who don't have the joy in life that I had - they have too much stuff. I'm more anxious that my kids take a lot of things for granted and won't have the drive to work hard to earn nice things.

It's awful to struggle with money but there are so many more important things money can't buy.

Poor. Parents only had me because they couldn't possibly afford any more. Beaten up old banger of a car. Everything bought from jumble sales. Rented run down house. Electric was 50 p in the meter. We'd get mice and even rats occasionally. Mum always remembers the time the dog caught a rat that was actually on my bed with me in it (dog treated me like it's own baby and slept next to me). Didn't have a telephone in the house until 1984 when I was 10. Never had holidays.

Fortunately I was very intelligent and did well at school. Didn't go to university, got a job. By 24 I was earning far more than any of my friends with degrees.

I grew up poor too. We had just what we needed but no extra . I have done ok but I found I followed the same route really , I have no security ,still private renting . I didn't buckle down and save for a deposit when all my friends were .I always spent everything I had . Now I have 3 DC and a DH who was shockingly bad with money (his parents were quite wealthy). My kids don't miss out on everything but they also don't have everything they want. My DS is about to go on a school trip costing €300 and it fills me with a little dread when I get these letters but I will find the money to let him go. When I was growing up it would have been an absolute no. I don't feel I missed out growing up we were happy and very grateful for everything we got. I just wish I had of grown up and made sure I took charge of my finances and made better decisions.

Poorish working class parents.
Grew up sharing a room with ds in a ground floor council flat in a not too desirable area.
We had two holidays (in the uk) before moving to a new area when I was in my final school years.
We didn't have new clothes often and if we did they made up part of Xmas or birthday gifts.
It was hard. I remember there being bread or one type of cereal for breakfast bread and cheese or jam for sandwiches and a decent meal for tea but never had school dinners and it was squash or water to drink.
Nothing to snack on other than basic fruit.

I see what I provide for my three fussy dc in terms of options for every meal lunch snacks etc and a range of juices squashes lemonade coke for the older or lily etc. Apple juice orange juice pineapple juice.
A range of fruit teas and coffees.
And three different types of milk as the all prefer different.
It's terrible. I've clamped down this last few months as the entitled did respect for our home and us is getting very evident. I would never have expected any of those things and was more than happy without.

I remember every now and then my mum would have a tray of bread jams and marmite and we would sit by the gas fire and toast our bread while wat hing tv.

Looking back I realise it was because the electric was low (50p meter)and she couldn't afford to turn the oven on

My dc have no idea how hard we've worked in all ways to have what we have achieved. Think my ds 21 is suddenly learning after I've put my foot down on his awful entitled attitude and disrespect for everything but I want them to understand how hard it is to get where you want to be.
Too much is provided.

Thanks for this thread op. Just made me remember how far I've come and what I've achieved and I need to teach my dc the same

Poor meant a tiny 2 bed bungalow, with no bathroom and an outside toilet. No central heating, no double glazing, phone, car or TV until I was 9. I went to school on the bus on my own from the age of 5. Thank God for grammar schools! Got me out of poverty!

You're welcome jingle, it's good to reflect back sometimes

I was brought up by my single dad after my mum passed away when I was young. I would certainly say that we were poor growing up.

My dad did his very best to shield me from it, but I distinctively remember using the spare key we had to my uncle’s house to go in and take food from the freezer while they were on holiday. We lived in a tiny flat, in a poor area (think finding needles in the close most mornings), but our flat was furnished to a good standard and generally I never wanted for anything, but this was entirely because my dad worked all hours under the sun, just to make ends meet. I will be forever grateful to him for that.

Fast forward to now.. two degrees later, I’m 6 months from qualifying as a solicitor and last year bought a 4 bed detached house with my partner. I have a nice car and a very good standard of living. I worked two jobs through uni and aside from a small inheritance I received from my gran, I’ve done it all on my own. Forever grateful to my dad for working his backside off all those years and bloody proud of myself too!

I'm still poor today. That's because I a) married the wrong man and b) had a disabled child.
Growing up poor did teach me some valuable lessons though, I can cope with poverty quite well, I'm not particularly materialistic and quite resourceful. I don't think I'd really want to b e rich particularly.

I grew up in a council house in one of the top five most deprived areas of the country, dad unemployed mum, part time cleaning job. No heating apart from gas fire in living room, no holidays or days out, always feed, never hungry, but short of lots of other necessities, eg. toilet paper in place of sanitary towels.

Things are good now, own property, good jobs (for now) lots of holidays, everything we need for our children.

I was poor growing up in a council flat with a single mum.
I passed the entrance exam to go to a local independent school in the year before the got rid of assisted places, and stayed until I was 18 - still living in a council flat.
I then went college but dropped out and got an admin job at the local hospital.
I got into a horrendous toxic relationship full of violence and aggression, drugs and alcohol for years.

When I was 25 I realised it couldn't keep on, the relationship ended.
I eventually got back in touch with a guy I knew from school and we went on a date...

We got married in 2017, 3 months after my mum died. We now own our home outright. DH is very well off from family money and we want for nothing. We are currently TTC and I work for DH from home.

My life couldn't have turned out more different from what it should have been more than once and I count my blessings every day that DH came back into my life and that my DM got to see that she was leaving me in good hands. It's both the thing that makes me happiest and saddest in my life.

Grew up with no central heating although it was fairly common, off cut carpet not fitted, potnoodle and chips was a fancy meal, no pocket money may get sweets once per month if lucky, no takeaways, hand me down clothes, shared baths etc etc

My adult life started out great. I had a good job, DH had own business that did well, nice house, kids had everything they needed.

Then I was made redundant, DH got ill and had to sell business. We live in a house that is too small for our family which lacks what some would call basic amenities because we can’t afford to fix them, I’ve never found a job that pays half as well as my last because my job I trained for doesn’t really exist now. DH is getting better but his job is low paid.

So I kinda did full circle :(. It sucks but we have each other lol

Some of these are making me emotional. Was going to say doesn't make my childhood seem so bad but things were pretty grim :-( I remember being embarrassed to have any friends round and even made up a story about living in a fancy house and walking the long way home so no-one knew the area I actually lived in. I drove past to show my DCs recently and DS said he would have hated living there. Looks even worse than I remembered and was weird driving past the window that was once my bedroom.

We used to toast bread and dripping on the coal fire. I loved it when Ddad was on short time because we had proper food from my Dnan.
I don't remember being sad though.
I was definitely more optimistic.
Even during the strikes we were better off. We had the random Soviet tins. I loved the reddish one.
Now I can't imagine any good outcomes for the foreseeable.
Likely just auld and grumpy.

I grew up poor due to my stepfather being an alcoholic. Worked from 13 still got good O levels while working almost 20 hours a week to support myself. Mother fell apart when he died so I was also her carer. Made me resilient, went to a red brick university. My parents were due to the drinking neglectful and also violent. My best friend at school was also poor but be due to her parents having low paid jobs. Mine both had professional well paid jobs. My issues stem from the neglect more than the going without.

I basically dragged myself up. What got to me was when DS was about 5 I bought those little boxes of individual Kellogg’s cereals. I cried when I got home as I realised how very much I had wanted them just once as a child.

I grew up in a poor family, my Dad was a farmer and we lived in a cottage that came with the job. He ended up working 2 jobs when my brother came along. Clothes all came from jumble sales or were hand me downs.
I left school with hardly any qualifications and no pressure to further my education. Left home at 18, pregnant at 19.
When I met my DH at 26 I was working a crappy job, we were poor for the next 10 years. It was only in my late 30's that we are now comfortable and our children are in a much better position than how we grew up.

Grew up in late 60’s early 70’s and MOST people around us were poor as I never felt poor but as a comfortable off adult I realise just how poor we were and feel grateful that I never realised that at the time. All my friends were the same and going without food in the holidays as we were locked out of our houses as our parents were out at work was normal to us and it wasn’t unheard of to nick some food from a shop sometimes. Without our free school meals our parents were a bit stuck.