Reasons to not give up BF

[Stillmonday]

I'm only 10 days in with my newborn but I'm shattered. Hardly getting any sleep at night at all as he just wants to cluster feed.

Everyone's telling me I'd get a better night if I bottle fed and from what I've read statistics show they sleep for longer because formula is harder to digest.

So I'm starting to wonder if I shouldn't just give up bf and go to bottle for my sanities sake?

You do what you want to do and what’s right for you.
No one here can tell you what’s right.
I persevered for 6 months with my first - at around 10 days I was ready to chuck the towel in. Nipples were red raw, bleeding and scabby, baby was permanently attached and I was crying a lot even just anticipating her waking up and wanting feeding. Boobs hurt, i wanted to sleep but she just wanted to have me in agony.
At about a month dp caved and bought her a dummy which helped but I was glad I continued (if only because our room was miles away from the kitchen, up 4 flights of stairs in MIL’s very tall house!) and I stopped when I really didn’t want to anymore.
I fed the others for less because I just didn’t enjoy it at all and only did it because I was lazy and couldn’t be arsed with bottles.
You have to decide what’s right for you.
A baby just needs food and love. They won’t judge you if the food comes from a bottle. (I know some babies absolutely do not like bottles, so that last part about them not judging you is not always true )

The right answer is to do whatever is right for you. Anyone tries to tell you otherwise, tell them to mind their own baby! Good luck OP, you’re doing great xxx

Lots will be along to tell you it's normal, it'll get easier etc but one bottle for sanity is not the end of your bf journey. It's important to build supply now but your mental health is important too. I tried to bf four babies but it didn't work well. Supported my sister who is now successfully feeding her baby. Told her what I wish others had told me!

It does get easier
Free
No washing up/sterilising
Helps shed baby weight
Health benefits to you
Health benefits to baby

That being said, you don't have to do one or the other. Mixed feeding can work very well. I'd try that if you are really at the end of your tether with tiredness.

Only you can make that choice but in my experience it's so worth hanging in there with the breastfeeding. The sleep deprivation of the early days are awful but it will get better!

No making bottles in the middle of the night. Just latch baby on and go back to sleep. Once you get used to it, you barely wake tbh. Breastfeeding also helps you release serotonin which helps you sleep better even though it may be broken sleep.

Going out for a couple of hours? Shove a few nappies and spare clothes in your bag and go! No huge bag needed for bottles, flasks etc.

Hi OP at this age it’s really unlikely to make a difference - 10 day old babies don’t tend to sleep much however they are fed. FWIW I am still breastfeeding 9 months in and was ready to give up at this stage. It gets gradually better/easier with every feed. By 3 weeks no pain, by 6 weeks supply adjusted, by 8 weeks less cluster feeding. Obviously if you want to stop now that’s fine, but if it is/was important to you then maybe try for another few days and reassess.

You may just have a bad sleeper.

How will you feel if you give up, just to find out formula makes no difference? It might help, it might not. The worst sleeper I know us bottle fed. The second worst is breastfed (my DS) the 2 best sleepers were breastfed. You may feel fine about giving up and finding no improvement, online you can answer that.

I wanted a give up, I thought I'd get better sleep, that DH would be able to do some full nights.. I didn't give up, maybe I would have had more sleep, may I wouldn't, who knows. What I do know is that DS was a horrendous sleeper and 2week old DD, also breastfed, is an amazing sleeper.

This is a good page for extolling the virtues of breastfeeding:

www.nhs.uk/start4life/baby/breastfeeding/

It does get better, honest!

Theres no right or wrong answer, happy mummy happy baby.

But, for what it's worth, it does get easier. Newborns are tricky however they're fed and although it's difficult to imagine, you will establish a routine and you will be able to feed them barely waking in a few months.

I too wanted to give up - I was breastfeeding twins, non-stop, it was just one continuous job of feeding, winding, nappy changing and starting again. We were still visited fairly regularly by a neonatal midwife and she was brilliant, told me I was doing brilliantly, how the twins were doing, to give it a few more days etc. And each time it seemed like we turned a corner.

Obviously there are a million other factors which impact on babies' health but considering they'd been born at 27 weeks, they were healthy, didnt pick up bugs etc.

It's your decision but you won't necessarily find that your baby sleeps better, especially that young they don't even know what "night" is. But here are.my plusses for bf (I bf dc1 for 2 years and dc2 is 13mo and still feeds)

• the easy option for me, cba making a bottle at 4am
• best pain relief, baby hurts themselves, gets a jab, boob is a winner
• sure they get immunity from you to help common infections
• lost loads of weight personally
• health benefits for you too
• excuse to escape annoying chores ("oh DC just needs a feed )
• my dh would never bloody wake up when they cry anyway so I'd still have to do all the night feeds or kick him out of bed which would wake me up anyway!

Free
Easier to digest
Protects them
Milk changes and adjusts to their needs
Always on tap
No need to sterilise
Food and comfort

But. It’s relentless. Hard work. Painful. Mentally tough. It does get easier.

No guarantee a bottle will make them sleep longer. My only saving grace was handing babies over to DH in between feeds as I needed a break.

10 days is tiny. Congratulations x

With my first DC, I gave up bf at night because I couldn't cope with the lack of sleep. Later on, I wished I hadn't given up, for various reasons, mainly that she turned out to be intolerant to cow's milk and we had to get prescription formula etc.

DC2 I really wanted to get further with bf. Again about 10 days in I found the lack of sleep impossible to manage. Maybe she was a bad sleeper anyway, but I ended up co-sleeping, which I never intended to do. She pretty much fed on and off all night, but I just popped her onto the other breast if she woke up and went back to sleep. It worked well for me. I fed her for 18 months.

Pros: After about 2-3 months, bf was much easier and cheaper than FF - no need to prep and sterilise bottles and carry them around, I could just whip out a boob wherever we were.

DC2 does seem to have a better immune system - fewer viruses, especially tummy bugs.

I got more sleep bf and co-sleeping with DC2 in the difficult early weeks than I did with FF DC1.

Cons: DC1 is 6 and still.comes into my bed at night! I probably wouldn't have co-slept if it hadn't been for the breastfeeding.

FF DC1 slept through the night by 12 weeks. Might just have been a coincidence of course.

BF DC still took quite a long time to feed, even up until about 6 months. She was never a 10 minutes feeder, so I had to devote quite a lot of time to feeding.

Having tried both ways, I would choose to bf again if I had another. I ended up enjoying it.

The only thing that is a must is feeding your baby.

Whether that is breast or formula, fed by you or DH doesn’t matter.

Feed thr way that works best for your family.

I did both, always formula at night so DS slept better. Everyone lectured me about 'nipple confusion' but DS never cared where his milk came from as long as he got some!

Because, especially when your baby is so young and helpless, your breast milk is the one and only food that can develop your baby's immune system and microbiome to the fullest.

Because your breast milk will make your baby stronger to resist infections.

Because babies who are breastfed learn to regulate the amount of food they need, and as a result suffer from significant less chances of becoming obese or diabetic when they grow up.

Because no other food substitute can ever aspire to contain the life benefits that your breastmilk has. Enzymes, antibodies, special sugars which feed to good bacteria in your baby's gut, lactoferrin that stops bad bacteria from growing inside your baby... there's nothing of these in formula milk of any kind.

Because, if your baby gets sick, through your breast your white blood cells can recognize the bug your baby has and produce specific antibodies in the milk which will help her fight her illness. This will not happen if you bottle feed.

Because bottle fed babies have significantly higher chances of dying in their sleep.

Because bottle fed babies have significantly higher risk of developing leukaemia (related to their immune system not developing optimally).

...and all the other reasons other participants have given you before.