Schools parent evening policy

[chickhonhoneybabe]

Hi, does anyone know if there are any general guildlines for who can and can’t attend?

What I want to know is, if a parent/guardian has parental responsibility can they take their spouse even if the other parent with parental responsibility doesn’t agree that they should go?

I doubt there is one. However if by taking along partner it would cause a scene at the school, and both parents are already attending- I don't see the need. School could probably request both adults leave if there is aggression.

Why would you deliberately cause aggro by bringing along someone the other parent doesn’t want there? Can’t you just report back?

Not sure how the other parent would find out if they weren’t there though.

It's not for school to sort your family squabbles. If it's a problem, arrange a separate time to pop in for a chat with third person. They'll accommodate if they can.

Gosh no teacher wants to get involved in this.

Parents/spouses should sort it before parents evening. Don't drag this into school.

Why does the other parent not want them to go? And is the other parent going?

I am assuming your ex wants to take his partner as of course they should not go

Get two separate appointments.
One for you, one for the ex.
Happens all the time.

Agree that it seems unnecessary for the partner to go but if, for whatever reason the parent is adamant about it:
Does the school run the parental consultations over two nights? If so then go on separate nights and take whoever you need to as the two separated parents won't see each other. At our school we always offer separated parents appointments on different nights anyway unless they tell us otherwise so it might be something of a non-issue?

School policies are for the kids, not their parents. Parents need to sort out their own arguments. And not on School premises.

Is it secondary? In that case one parent makes appointments between, say, 4-5pm and the other between 5pm and 6pm. Happens all the time but I feel sorry for the kids as they hear it all twice and have to act interested both times.
Schools have seen it all before but please don’t cause aggro for the student.

My DC school refused to give seperate appointments.

Even if there’s only one evening of appointments, our teachers are happy to make themselves available to any parent who can’t make the scheduled evening, or who can’t get an appointment they want.

Agree with others - sort this out like the grown adults you are and don’t bring your issues into school.

I don’t know any schools who specify who can attend (dc have attended 2 primaries and 2 secondaries between them and I’ve seen grandparents/ family friends there). I don’t understand why everyone wants to go in this case though. I go to all mine, and feedback to XH and DH. Things are often very crowded and I’m more than able to deal with any issues and relay feedback.

Please don't drag your DC's teacher into you and EP's disputes. You may appreciate having your DP's support but that does not trump your EX's desire not to have their DC discussed in front of someone who is not a parent.

If EX had a new DP and you didn't want them there what would you do?

I realise that this might be an attempt to control and exert power but that's not the teacher's issue.

You could always seek an appointment with the teacher at another time out with the "public forum" of Parent's Night.

Why are you so keen to have DP there and why is EX so adamant they're not?

I have seen it all in many years of Parent's Evenings and hate to see the DC's embarrassment. I have 30 appointments, if (which is the norm now) I have 30+ pupils I cannot even see separated partners individually as my priority is ensuring each pupil has an appointment.

I meant to add: is there a specific reason all 3 of you need/ want to be there?

I’m a bit confused about the not getting the school/teachers involved in family disputes, after only asking a question to understand if the school have any polices around this.

In no way are the school involved in sorting anything out between the parents, I just wanted to know what the policy is as I’ve found out that my ex has been taking his DW to DDs parents evening.

DD is in primary school and exDP has attended when I couldn’t make the appointment, however the last time there was a patents evening we attended separately.

DD has SEN and school have suggested that we now attend together so that we’re on the same page. Which is fine, as it’s me that raised issues with school regarding DDs needs and behaviour, as her DF didn't/wouldn’t admit there are issues.

I just wanted to understand where I stand if I state that I don’t want his DW to attend. I have an awful time with DDs behaviour when she’s home and it’s like I’m constantly banging my head at a brick wall.

I realise that exDPS DW has involvement in DDs life, however I don’t understand why she needs to attend when he can relay what’s been said to her afterwards.

Sounds like you would be much better off telling school that unfortunately you and your ex just can’t attend at the same time at all.

I think its fair to state you just want the two with parental responsibility to attend

I’ve told the teacher that I’ll attend with him, the ball is in his court now.

He thinks that I’m being ridiculous for being upset that his DW has been going to parents evening, so if he turns up that’s another question.

If DD has SEND then I think it is important that his wife attends. Presumably your DD stays with them so his wife needs to know how to support her. She might have questions of her own to ask.
Can you not all just be grown ups for half an hour?

It’s not about being grown ups.

The ex can relay what ever is discussed to his W. We as parents need to attend to be on the same page.