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Original poster

Physical affection and your child

9 replies

Bookridden · 31/01/2019 16:38

DD is 12 and puberty is well underway. I'm appreciating some of the freedoms it's bringing and being able to share more adult pursuits. But DD no longer wants to hug and kiss me, DH or her grandparents. I really miss this, is it normal and does it come back? It's also hard to explain to grandparents, as I see their hurt when she ducks away from a hello kiss, but I don't feel comfortable forcing it. What do you do?

OP posts:

Original poster

Bookridden · 31/01/2019 17:11

bump

OP posts:

SnuggyBuggy · 31/01/2019 17:14

She may do. Give her a little space and try to find other ways to bond in the meantime

Iamnobirdandnonetensnaresme · 31/01/2019 17:16

Never force affection, you have to respect boundaries and every adult should understand that.

Have a chat with you dd and say that you miss cuddles from her.

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Howmanysleepstilchristmas · 31/01/2019 17:18

Ds13 has cut back on hugs. Just a cursory hug goodnight out of habit now. A few days ago I got a proper cuddle (unprompted) as I was crying at a sad bit of a book! It was lovely. (He also laughed at me for being so soppy.)

EvaHarknessRose · 31/01/2019 17:21

I thought cuddles were over, but dd2 has started again at 13, which is very nice. Dd1 doesn’t do physical contact and that’s fine too.

Trifle66 · 31/01/2019 17:22

My DD did that. At 20 she is now happy to be hugged. I read that giving your teens foot massages is a good way of keeping physical contact but at a distance they are happy with, plus it helps with stress. I did this and think it was good. Pathetic isn't it. You do kind off feel so rejected and needy when you go in for a hug and get a "duck out of the way". As for grandparents they know it will pass as you probably did the same to them.

Epiphany52 · 31/01/2019 17:25

Yes, it’s normal. And it’s sad 😢
I had the cuddliest DS. He had always been happy for a cuddle and a hug and would snuggle up with me on the sofa.
Hit 13 and nothing. I was and still am quite sad about it.
Now sometimes he will allow me to hug him or kiss me on the cheek. But few and far between.
But he’s a lovely teen, on the whole, so there is that I suppose.

Ragwort · 31/01/2019 17:28

Totally normal and many teens are wanting to find out for themselves how comfortable they feel with hugs and kisses. Please don’t try and ‘force’ it.

Birdie6 · 31/01/2019 17:30

Mine are adults now - yes they both became very non-touchy as teenagers, but now they are both very affectionate, hugs and kisses when we meet / farewell etc. My adult daughter even likes to hold my hand when we're out and about - which is lovely. So yes it can come back - good luck with yours !

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