Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Mother in Law advice

4 replies

Polly87 · 31/01/2019 14:02

Hello all, I’m looking for advice on how to handle mother’s day this year (it’s early I know!)

My mother in law is a very sociable extroverted person and loves to arrange a get together. She’ll often start arranging things like Christmas / mothers day months in advance and she’s started asking about Mother’s Day and whether we could do a big joint pub lunch celebration with my parents and our siblings.

My parents are the opposite end of the scale and very introverted. They don’t enjoy socialising that much and prefer to relax at home. They don’t dislike my mother in law but have mentioned they find her quite exhausting and I know they would prefer not to do a joint Mother’s Day event with her. I feel for my mum as it’s her mother’s day too and I know she would be very anxious about this and it wouldnt be her idea of a nice Mother’s Day. I think she feels a little inferior to MIL who is a lot younger.

I’m kind of stuck in the middle as I don’t want to offend MIL but I would also rather celebrate separately as I feel like mother’s day is for my own mother not my mother in law (as lovely as she is). Hubby doesn’t really get it and I don’t really want to offend him by saying I don’t want to spend it with his mum.

What would you do in my situation? Saying my mum and dad have other plans isn’t not an option as MIL will just suggest the week before / after and keep going until we find a date. Any suggestions on how to handle this?

OP posts:
timetoriseandshine · 31/01/2019 15:32

Just explain to MIL the situation, that your DM would prefer to have a quiet Mother's Day at home (it is also her day after all)
Perhaps see your DM on the morning and go out to lunch with MIL in the afternoon/evening?
As much as I love my MIL too, my DM comes first, always

IdleBetty · 31/01/2019 15:40

DH can visit MIL and spend time with his mum.

You do something with your own mum.
Not an issue doing a split.

Or both spend half a day with each.
Either way do not make your mum spend mother's day with her.

30birthdayholiday · 31/01/2019 15:43

Could you do it year about, pub meet up 1 year and quiet individual mornings/afternoons the next year?

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

PolarBearDisguisedAsAPenguin · 31/01/2019 15:48

I’d just say that big gatherings and pub meet ups aren’t something your parents enjoy. That way it saves you having to come up with future excuses as well.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page