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Original poster

So stressed about morning routine and nursery, school drop offs and work commute. Any one else?

57 replies

Annebody · 31/01/2019 09:07

Does anyone else struggle with this?
I am finding it so stressful.
Work full time. Monday to Friday.
I wake up around 6am. Get myself ready and make lunches. I try to relax by watching a bit of TV or listening to some music.
Wake the dc at 7am. I can't wait them earlier as they need their sleep. Get them dressed. Feed one dc breakfast (he won't eat at breakfast club). Then out the door at 7.15. Drop them off at nursery 7.30 and school 7.45. Then I go to work.

My commute is not easy as it varies as I meet my clients so it's ranges from 15 mins to over an hour. Once I'm at work it is fine.

I find the whole time from waking the dc up to getting to work so stressful and my anxiety is so high. Have been doing this for nearly 3 years and it is not getting easier but I don't know what I can do about it!Sad

OP posts:
SherlockSays · 31/01/2019 13:12

DD is going to have to be at nursery at 7.15am so she's going to have no choice but to be awake by 6.45 at the latest, she'll have to go to bed earlier to compensate - I really think you need to give this a go.

Also, do packed lunches the night before and get something for breakfast that can be eaten in the car - they could eat toast in the car, cereal bars etc. I'm sure there's loads of ideas on Pinterest.

GiveMeAllTheGin8 · 31/01/2019 13:21

15 minutes to get up washed, dressed, breakfast in is really not enough time. That would completely stress me out.
What time do they go to bed at? Could you put them up 30 mins earlier?
Easy does your ds eat in the morning? Is it portable?

Dimsumlosesum · 31/01/2019 13:27

No wonder you're stressed, you leave so little time between waking them then having to leave.

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Heatherjayne1972 · 31/01/2019 13:49

That Sounds stressful op.

I have an hour in the morning to get myself a 9 yr old and an 11 year old up dressed fed and out the door- that’s always a massive rush
15 mins isn’t long enough so I agree you probably need to get the kids up earlier

Mornings are always a rush Hate it
I can’t drop my two at breakfast club before 7.45 and have to be at work for 7.50

I feel your pain

dubbyoo · 31/01/2019 13:56

I'm amazed and a bit jealous of your 15 min turn around for 2 kids. We waste easily 30 mins a day just with the "put your shoes on! Leave the Lego alone!" type ranting.

If you have a few minutes to yourself before you wake them maybe you could try a short meditation or 5 minute yoga stretches type thing instead of the TV. Maybe this would feel a bit more nourishing for your wellbeing and anxiety? It sounds like you are already excelling at the getting out the door business but your own emotional well-being is suffering

Northernsights · 31/01/2019 13:57

I hate the mornings too. We have to leave by 715 for the schools bus, then I catch the train. Dc are a bit older, but it's still a rush (one takes ages in the shower and eating breakfast).
Get everything possible ready the night before, even decide what everyone is having for breakfast so there are no decisions at all. Make sure you are completely ready before you wake the dc. You'll need to wake the dc earlier even 10 minutes earlier will make a big difference. And try not to stress, easier said than done I know. Have a takeaway cup with coffee /tea for the commute for when it's all done!

Original poster
Annebody · 31/01/2019 19:29

They are late to sleep and that's why they sleep in but I have tried it all and start getting the ready for bed 6.30. Ironically the 4 year old is the worse and gets to sleep the latest no matter what I do after 8.30, and believe me I've tried everything over the years as it is stressful.

Tbh not giving much time in the mornings to get ready does makes it a little easier as there is no time for TV or playing for them. They know the get dressed, brushed teeth and out the door.

Ds1 is so skinny, no special needs apart from being picky. He hasn't eaten in the past when I've done tried the tough love approach to food, so i will keep doing breakfast and fresh, made on the day packed lunches. He can sniff out ones made the night before and won't touch them Hmm And at least he is eating.

I'm not watching TV by the way, I'm running around from 6 getting myself ready, bags ready, washing done etc. I don't find that hard though as I'm an early riser anyway. Im just finding that dealing with the dcs once they are up and getting them to cooperate and not fight etc and keep to the time schedule is difficult.

I've asked dh to take them Monday, Tuesday next week as I think a couple of days in a row will help. When he takes them I try to leave the house early and go and have a coffee before work, so it is a proper break where I don't need to do any of that Wink

OP posts:
Northernsights · 31/01/2019 20:03

Can you get the fussy eater up first (he sleeps earlier?) then the 4 year old whilst the other is eating breakfast. It might make it less stressful?

Original poster
Annebody · 01/02/2019 10:41

I can't do it anymore. I really feel like I'm near breaking point.

And I feel like I'm being irrationally anxious about it all and over reacting to the situation so I think it is affecting my mental health too much.

Dh will do the school breakfast club drop off for the next few weeks and I'll just take the youngest to nursery. The youngest isn't as cooperative with Dh as he is with me so that will make Dh's job easier too.

This honestly is the hardest part of being a mum so far.

OP posts:
formerbabe · 01/02/2019 10:47

If the eldest won't eat at breakfast club, would he eat a cereal bar and banana in the car on the way? That might save a little time in those precious 15 minutes.

formerbabe · 01/02/2019 10:48

Could they have an earlier bedtime and get up ten minutes earlier in the morning?

ipswichwitch · 01/02/2019 10:57

We get up at 6, DH takes DC downstairs for breakfast while I get ready. When I’m downstairs he goes to get ready while I get them dressed and ready to leave at 7.15.

When I used to do packed teas for nursery I’d do them the night before, but if your DC can really tell the difference I’d go with pre sliced cheese, get bread and sandwich bags out the night before ready to whack a sandwich together, and go with pre made snacks like mini soreen type stuff if he’ll eat that sort of thing. That’ll make the packed lunch easy. Clothes are always out and ready the night before, and bags packed and by the door ready to go.

I get it, it is stressful and a rush to get out some mornings no matter how prepared I am - DS2 is awaiting autism diagnosis so things can go very wrong on a morning! I like to stop at the garage on a good morning when I manage to leave a couple of minutes early and treat myself to a latte for the drive to work.

Believeitornot · 01/02/2019 10:59

Dh will do the school breakfast club drop off for the next few week
Why aren’t you making this a permanent arrangement?
You both work. No need to martyr yourself.

Original poster
Annebody · 01/02/2019 11:03

Dh is away for 12 hours a day with his commute and work. He usually is gone from 7-7. If he does drop offs it will mean he won't be home until 8. That's why I have been doing them but I don't think it is worth it anymore.

OP posts:
JammyC · 01/02/2019 11:17

I feel your pain. I have a lazy DH who can barely sort himself out in the mornings let alone two kids. I am doing it myself most days. I’m going back to work soon so have tried a few tactics this last week which have helped me:

  1. I bath in the evenings and wash my hair before I go to bed. Saves me time in the morning and relaxes me. Just brush and straighten when I get up.
  1. Literally pour breakfast cereals into bowls the night before and cover so they only need milk adding. Working up to my 5yr old adding milk herself. I willmake overnight oats for me to take to work.
  1. I get big one fed and dressed first then reward her with Lego/tv whilst I sort baby. She sits in the front room with shoes and cardi on so only need to grab coat and book bag when we go. One less headache.
  1. I put any laundry in the machines at night and use the delay timer so it washes during the day. No time for it in the mornings!
  1. I lay out all clothes the night before, even for me. Every 5 mins saved is a help!
Schmoobarb · 01/02/2019 11:20

Sleeping in their school uniforms?! Jesus that’s grim. I’m as lazy and on the lookout for things to make my life as easy as possible as they come but even I’ve never considered that.

I don’t find mornings stressful as my H does it as he doesn’t start work til 10 but I find getting back for after school club really stressful. One in high school can’t wait until the second is too and they can just get themselves home!

Believeitornot · 01/02/2019 11:22

If he gets home at 8, he gets home at 8. So be it.

Has he asked his employer for flexible working? What do other parents in his workplace do??

Original poster
Annebody · 01/02/2019 11:25

I don't find getting them home very stressful as I bribe them with ice cream after dinner if they are good. This really works! I can't really bribe them with treats first thing in the morning Confused

Also because I'm not needing to be anywhere it doesn't matter if they go slowly, stop to look at things etc. I am so much more relaxed after work!

OP posts:
E20mom · 01/02/2019 11:34

I'd wake them earlier even if it's only 10 minutes earlier. It's the rush that makes things more stressful I think.

LBOCS2 · 01/02/2019 14:09

I find that the thing that makes my morning stressful with the kids is working to a fixed time you have to be out of the house. If you don't have enough time, it can be a bit much and becomes stressful. For comparison, on days when my DC go to the childminder and I go to work, I get myself ready, wake them at 7 and we leave the house at 7.45. ALL I have to do with them is pits n bits wash, teeth, clothes, hair, car. My childminder gives them breakfast. So I don't think you're leaving enough time to get them up and that puts you on the back foot all day.

Original poster
Annebody · 01/02/2019 14:18

His employer is already flexible as he can start earlier or later, but we were preferring earlier so he could be home around 7 so he could help with bedtime.

I think we will try waking them 6.45. And see how that goes.

OP posts:
JammyC · 01/02/2019 14:28

Could your DH arrange with his work to do the same hours but some from home? So go in slightly later leave at his current leaving time and make up an hour in the evening? I know not everyone can work from home but it is something I’m going to be doing when I’m back at work just to take the edge off the evening rush hour a bit.

listsandbudgets · 01/02/2019 15:13

Blimey - I'm completey in awe at your organising skills. No way could I get my 2 out the house 15 minutes after they get out of bed. DS has been known to spend that long on the bl**dy toilet before now.

We leave at 7.30am on the dot (well thats the idea). Both DD (13) and DS (6) get up at 6.30am. On a good morning they've had breakfast, got dressed and done spelling practice / any last minute homework by 7.10am and DD is doing guitar / singing practice while DS watches TV / reads and I run round getting a wash on and vaguely tidying kitchen

On a bad morning, I'm still bellowing "get a move on" "get dressed" "put your shoes on" "have a cereal bar in the car" at 7.33am!!

This morning was a good morning :)

Believeitornot · 01/02/2019 16:24

Can he work from how even one day a week?
Or can you look at both of you reducing your hours ever so slightly eg to 90%, just for year or two?
Sometimes a little sacrifice is worth it in the end.

Shmithecat · 01/02/2019 16:30

I can't really bribe them with treats first thing in the morning

Yes, yes you can

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