What's your newborns bedtime routine?

[Melittlebee]

My baby is 9 days old and I'm trying to work out if I could make bedtime easier as he comes alive as soon as I take him upstairs. It then takes a good 2 hours to feed then change and keep upright so he's not sick.

He won't sleep in his crib so we co sleep but I'm getting a crap nights sleep.

Any tips please?

I don’t think you can get him in a routine so young. I’d recommend white noise though DD is currently wide awake while I listen to recordings of rain- needing the toilet!

The routine for newborns is theirs. It's v hard but becomes easier when you learn to go with their flow and flex and fit.

They're all difficult different op.

It will get better. You are a wonderful mummy just for thinking about it.

At his age they can't tell night from day yet. Little point to a routine really, but go for it if it makes you feel better. I thought it was a lot of work for no reward, personally.

We've got a 3 day old and ours is this. Oh my god he's asleep. Set alarm for three hours for the next feed and dive into bed with no messing about. Then afternoon if he's asleep then we have a nap.

I'm on meals, nappies and cleaning duty and she's doing breastfeeding.

So far it's working apart from us being shattered. No way we're risking cosleeping as I sleep too deeply.

The words ‘Routine’ and ‘newborn’ don’t belong in the same sentence. 😭😂relax and go with the flow!

We go to bed around 10pm. 13day old DD then decides it's time to feed. Around 2am she eventually goes down and I get to sleep.

There's no routine at this age. Just go with the flow and don't have any expectations.

@Endofrelationship That's what happens here too. Bedtime is the only time my DS will stay awake!

Routine with newborn - how my life would have been better!

Stay in bed a lot and feed a lot. Indulge the baby with non routine sleep, etc.. Do nothing but nurture baby and self for first six weeks and give into it.

Nice food, water and favourite drinks.

And chill and nap.

I did all i cd to develop a routine. Babbies have no recollection. They are 24 and 20 now. They have little recollection.

I'm finding the no sleep bit a shock to the system!!

My baby did not have a routine. I was frowned upon by my NCT group - we were creating a rod for our own backs etc. We just used to let her nap on us in the evenings to avoid the screaming, then put her to bed when we went. At 12 weeks she became interested in the TV and wouldn't nap so the next night we started putting her to bed - feed in the dark and straight into her crib. Within 2 weeks she was sleeping 12 hours. At 5 months, we moved her bath from morning to bedtime. We don't do a bedtime story at the moment as DD needs to play until bedtime - it's just the way she is. Reading has to happen at a time when she is happy to sit and chill out - not when she's tired.

Rather than a routine, focus on helping your baby to learn the difference between night and day. I did everything in the dark with just a night light on. I also didn't talk to her or be overly affectionate - but am the complete opposite during the day. I also didn't put the TV or any music on, unless we were up all night because she was unwell. I didn't want her to learn that night time was an exciting time to be awake!

PS: I've read that you should have whatever you want as a routine established by 4 months. By 4 months DD could settle herself (we used to rock her to calm, then put her down. If she cried we repeated). She didn't have a 4 month sleep regression.

I fully accept that we have likely just been lucky but I like to think that some of the things we did have helped. I'm also never smug about our baby sleeping as I know it could change at any time.

Our baby had severe colic which was why we didn't try a bedtime routine earlier. Some of my friends who had routines earlier have managed to stick to them, some have all gone to pieces once the babies hit 4 months. There really is no way of knowing what will happen!

I don't have a "schedule" where we do things at specific times, but I do have a "routine" where we do things in the same order so baby and I both know what is coming next. I've been doing this since 2 weeks and I think it's helping him sleep longer at night and take less time to settle.
Bedtime routine is this:

• Bath or top and tail with warm face cloths
• change into pjs and swaddle suit (I use the love to dream as my LO loves having his arms up)
• Dim the lights
• Play soft piano music
• Feed and cuddle him until he is relaxed or asleep
• Put him in cot. If he stirs or is still awake, I will pick him up and make shushing sounds, sway with him, and pat him until he is relaxed again.

Since 3 weeks old he has regularly slept a minimum of 5 hours, he's now doing 6 or 7 hour stretches too. I should add he cluster feeds from 5-9pm most nights, feeding every 30-60 minutes, so I think he's bulking up ahead of the long sleep.

At naptime I do this routine:
-when he starts yawning, I take him into a darkened room, swaddle him, and shush him and sway until he closes his eyes.
If I've just fed him and he's still showing feeding cues but I know he's not hungry (ie he has fed for at least 20 minutes and has spit up or detached himself), then I'll give him a dummy. I'll also play soft piano music if he's still stirring and won't sleep.

Naptimes, tbh, are still a bit of a struggle, but I try to get him down for a nap after each feed and some playtime.

Betweeen newborn and 6 months, all three of mine slept downstairs on me/ near me in the Moses basket in the evening because of the SIDS advice. In the early days it was literally just feed/ cuddle/ chill and they slept and woke as and when they chose.

As they started to come out of the fourth trimester, around sixish I would start to introduce a bath/ baby massage/ soft music but it was still downstairs. A feed and then into basket in the living room.

Post six months, same bath/massage routine but feed done upstairs and then into bed.

As I’ve had more children, the baby at the time has had less routine/ more on the fly approach

Nine days old is cluster feeding and cuddles whilst watching TV.

9 days old and routine? Nah, impossible.

@IWouldPreferNotTo were you told you need to set an alarm for feeds?

Personally I think trying to force a routine on a tiny baby just ends up with stressed parents.
Those early days are a real nightmare and the tiredness can be a killer but I was always led by the baby.
Congratulations on your little one

Try if you can to sleep during the day when your baby does. Cleaning the house and other mundane tasks can wait.

For the first 3 or 4 months bedtime routine is watch TV all evening while swapping baby from one boob to the other and take them up to bed with you at 10/11pm

I probably worded it wrong, instead of 'routine' I meant what works well at bedtime for your baby

I kept the babies down in the evenings for quite a while so I could watch telly & potter.

It's a lot better than being sat in a bedroom, and they aren't going to having anything like a rhythm for a while yet.

I would then take them to bed with me when I went up.

I think a routine at that age is largely for the parent's sanity rather than the baby! It's absolutely not necessary for a newborn for all the reasons PPs have listed. If you're BF then this should be on demand and no 2 evenings will be the same in terms of when they decide to feed and sleep. For my sanity I take my newborn up to the bedroom around 10ish and try to put her down after the next feed (whenever that may be!) So I can try to get some sleep before the next wake up call. She's 4 weeks old though. At 9 days me and my OH were taking to shifts to sleep throughout the day and night and were up with her all night in shifts as she wouldn't be put down. You really need to go with the flow with a newborn and don't expect too much too soon in terms of routine. IME from my 2 children, the first 2 weeks are the worst in terms of feeling like your life is utter chaos then you will start to establish some sort of a flow.

If it works for you to have a strict bed/ bath/ night routine etc then go for it, but IMO not all children need it. My 3yo has coped fine with a pretty flexible routine (ie we don't bath every night, bed time is changeable depending on how tired he is and what we're doing) and he has established his own patterns for stories etc, which often changes, as he's got older. He's always slept through really well and is happy, content and well adjusted so it comes to show that a strict routine isn't absolutely critical

There isn't really a bed time for a newborn, you are just in a 24 hr cycle of feeding, pooing and naps.

By about 6/7 months you may be able to achieve something nearing a meaningful bedtime if your baby is normal and not one of the wonder babies who 'sleep through' from 3 weeks old.

I decided with all three of mine that at 5 weeks they would be asleep at 7pm. Did a routine:
Feed
wash (not always a bath)
massage (often was asleep but woke up a little)
swaddle
look at books very quietly
feed
cuddle (and wake up a tiny bit)
sing and leave hopefully with a little eye open.

Worked with all of them (and all slept through from 9 weeks)- the 3rd one at 5 weeks.

The eye open when putting down was the top tip for them sleeping through. TBH it all went tits up a t 4 months but sorted out again.!

No routine - he fed as he wanted and would sleep on one of us for periods, at which point I would usually leave him sleeping on H and go to bed for at least a bit of a rest. I coslept - if the father is a heavy sleeper then if there is a spare bed it may be an option to move him there

I used to take baby into bedroom about 9/9.30/10ish depending how tired I was and get changed into “pjs” (just another babygro) and feed in the dark and quiet. I tried from very early on to establish a bit of day and night with dark for feeds etc.