Can’t sleep scared of being broken into

[Zeddythezebra]

First of all I know I’m being silly. But I’m currently lay on a duvet on my children’s floor too scared to sleep. I’m absolutely scared of being burgled in the night.
I’ve checked all doors and windows are locked (4 times!) and I still can’t sleep.
To make matters worse I live in the noisiest house ever which doesn’t help.
Twice this week I’ve come home to my back gate wide open and sensibly I know it’s probably just blown open in this awful weather we’re having but it’s left me really uneasy in my house.

I’m a single parent and I’m too scared to sleep in my own room in case someone breaks in and I can’t get to my children.

A few years ago when I was with my ex partner (in a different house) someone broke in to the house when he wasn’t there and it was just me and the children and I had to chase him out because me and my youngest who was a baby were downstairs.
I thought I was over it but it just keeps popping back in my head. Even while I’m writing this every little noise is bugging me.

I just don’t know how to get past this fear because I’m literally exhausted all day not falling asleep until I think it’s a ‘safe’ time or I physically can’t keeo my eyes open anymore and then falling asleep at my desk at work.

How can I feel safer in my house?

Oh op can you afford cctv? I know it's pricey but it would be worth it for your peace of mind, you can't carry on like this.

Did you ever get any help for what you went through? It's totally understandable why you're so frightened now, anyone would be.

Hope someone comes along with better advice soon

I think you need to speak to your gp about this, you went through a scary event, having to chase an intruder out of your home. If it was me I would have in my mind gone through every possible bad scenario that could have happened that night. Would like you have PTSD or some anxiety related issue (I’m not a doctor). Asking for counselling may help

Sounds like not would like!

Lovey can you get some advise from the police.
You are not over it.

I didn’t really get any advice or help at the time (it was about 18 months ago) it took me a while to get over it and then I moved to this new house alone with my dc and it didn’t really bother me at first but the past few months I’m constantly getting sleep paralysis if I ever do fall asleep and can hear someone coming upstairs but can’t movr to stop them and it just makes me feel as awful as I felt when it really happened.
Then with the back gate being open this week it’s really unnerved me.

I feel too silly telling anyone in RL as it was so long ago.

It sounds to me like you have PTSD type anxiety stemming from the previous break in OP, how long is it since that happened and have you been anxious like this ever since? If it's been a while and you've been ok are you stressed about anything other than the gate atm? I find completely unrelated stress can trigger my PTSD and I start having flashbacks again even though nothing connected to the original incident has happened. CBT can be helpful, your GP can refer you (or you can self refer in some areas) although the waiting lists can be long. It's horrible not feeling safe isn't it, hope you're ok

for you. You sound like you're having a really tough time. I think you need to do two things.

Firstly, have you made your house reasonably secure with locks, an alarm, security lights etc? If you google there is some really good advice.

Secondly, would you consider seeking help for the anxiety you have. Anxiety is horrible and so exhausting. Then being tired will make you more anxious so it's really difficult to deal with. Although being burgled is not a nice thought, your fears are out of proportion and are really affecting your life. You should be in your nice comfortable bed, not on the floor of your children's room. I'm also sure you don't want to pass on your fears to your children. Please go and see your GP and see what they can offer.

Thank you all for being so kind,
You might be on to something @Hidingtonothing it happened about 18-24 months ago I can’t really remember exact date. I was quite freaked out about it for a few months and then when I moved, I moved to a nicer area and initially felt fine and it all started up again a few months ago.

My mum is really poorly at the moment and will be having really major surgery next week. She’s my go to if ever I’m worried and she tells me if im being silly or she helps me get past whatever is worrying me and I feel like I can’t really tell her this because she has too much on her mind at the moment and my worry is pretty stupid compared to hers. Plus I don’t want her worrying about me when she has so much on.

I think my worry is not being broken into so much as not being able to get to my children if it did happen. Last time my youngest was 3 weeks old and I had to hide her at the side of the sofa because I heard someone break in through the back and obviously didn’t know if it was a chance burglar or something worse but it was just awful knowing I had one child upstairs and one in another room and I couldn’t have ran to them both had I needed to.

It's no wonder you feel anxious after what happened. I would feel exactly the same. Any anxiety I get is usually about something happening to my children and my mind can be my own worst enemy. Yor mum being poorly will also be adding to your stress levels and increasing your anxiety. I really would try to see your GP about getting some help.

I hope you feel better soon and your mums surgery goes well.

I'm not surprised that you feel so frightened, that's an awful thing to go through and you don't need to feel silly talking to someone. Just because it was a while ago it doesn't mean it's gone away. Just awful that someone's else's problems, for example the burglars issues, have now affected you so badly
As an aside, I would still talk to your mum about it. She would want to know and it may help take her mind off her surgery for a bit. My dear friend who was unwell and needed surgery welcomed hearing my stuff because it helped her fell "normal" for lack of a better word.
Definitely get some counselling on this, the fear is ruining your life

That fear of not being able to protect your DC is horribly familiar, I won't go into my experience but suffice to say I was separated from my DC in not dissimilar circumstances and it was the most scared (and helpless) I've ever felt.

It took a long time for me to be able to process it properly (I stupidly didn't ask for help apart from some anxiety meds in the immediate aftermath) to the point where I could let it rest so to speak and I still have the odd bad day (or more likely night) even now.

It's really easy to underestimate the effect something like this can have on you and feel you should be 'over it' but it's such a primal reaction being afraid for your DC that it's not always that simple. Do speak to your GP or look into some private therapy if that's an option for you, being scared in your own home is so horrible

It has been so windy btw op, I'm not surprised your gate blew open, I got up the other morning and lids had all come off my outdoor bins. I agree with getting an alarm for peace of mind, and one of those door cameras so you can see who comes to the house.

What you went through sounds horrific and terrifying and 18 months really isn't that long ago. I honestly think you'd benefit from some support to deal with that x