Looking back, was your child's personality obvious when they were a baby?

[missesschmisses]

DS is 15mo, I often wonder whether his little quirks now will go on to be his personality, and one day I'll look back and say 'oh yes you did always want your own way, even as a toddler!' Or whether he is just very much a typical toddler.

He seems very cheeky, loves performing for the crowds with loud fake laughs, throws EVERYTHING really well (future shot putter ) and can be very impatient. Also so lovely and cuddly and warm and affectionate.

Can you look back in your children as little ones and see their personalities?

My 2 are exactly how they were whilst I was pregnant.. DD1 is so laid back and doesn’t so much other then lay down as much as she can... when I was pregnant with her she never, ever moved! I was always up the hospital rigged up to a monitor in the last 6 weeks of pregnancy. DD2 was forever rolling around and did not stop moving whilst I was pregnant... she is like it now. Can’t keep still, active and always bouncing about everywhere! They are 16 and 12 now.

Mine have turned out the complete opposite DS (11) was a very difficult baby & toddler but is now the most laid back boy and DD (8) was often referred to as 'placid' and is now stroppy & opinionated on a daily basis. Love them both though

Yes. Since day 1. It’s crazy. And nice, because it reminds you that, whatever you do, they’re pretty much set in stone from being little anyway.

My mum said I was a very placid baby and toddler. Still am as an adult.

Yes. Mostly calm and sweet. (When fed and rested of course!)
So yes maybe prone to being hangry!

DD was so interested in people, always wanting to know what was going on. I had to put her in a forward facing buggy at 12 weeks because she screamed if she couldn't see what was happening. I remember taking her to soft play when she was 2 and watching her climb onto a bouncy castle, go straight up to a kid and say 'I'm X, what's your name?' At 12 shes still a people person, great at meeting new people and will throw herself into new activities even when she doesn't know a soul there. And yes, she's still nosy as hell and an avid people watcher!

DS smiled at 3 weeks. He's nearly 10 now, came home with a Student of the Week certificate yesterday and said 'another one for always having a smile on my face!'

Lovely thread.

Yes but I'd never really considered it before.
DS1 high maintenance baby. Never still.
DD2 never cried. Didn't nap or sleep well. Never particularly affectionate. Don't ever play with toys always wanted to be doing.
DS2 very laid back. Great sleeper. Very clingy to me. Very affectionate.
DD2 An absolute whirlwind. Really hard work. Never still. Very determined. Very affectionate.
They are now 13, 11,9 and 7 and those traits have all lasted.

One seemed to make friends very easily at around 3 years old. Everywhere we went he would get on with some stranger kids, at groups a random mum would come up after a couple of days knowing his name. He has a strong attachment to a wide number of friends now into young adulthood. He really craves company.

Having said that the next one was said not to interact at nursery! But seemed to make friends as he progressed through primary. Very happy through secondary with plenty of friends but teachers did comment that he was quiet. Happier on his own though than his brother would be.

Yes watered down versions of traits

Yes.
DS1 (8) Placid baby, but began tantrums at 10 months when he understood that "no" meant he wasn't going to get his own way. Still wants things according to his own vision and struggles if reality is not cooperating! He took everything in and studied things intently. I remember when he could sit at 6 months, he was really happy to observe and process his surroundings. He's like a walking encycolopedia now. Loves facts and asks lots of deep questions about life the universe and everything. Has his specialist subjects and a long attention span... as in could play with a toy for a couple of hours at 2! Quirky. Was impossible to dress as a toddler. Loathed having his teeth brushed from the start. Still a battle. Dressing has become easier over the years as I've accepted his comfort zone... yes it is still shorts weather...
I suspect some kind of SN beyond the pretty obvious dyslexia. There certainly seems to be sensory processing issues.

DS2 (5) Sunny. Really sunny. Like the Sahara. The perfect contrast and compliment to the intensity of DS1. I don't have many great baby photos of him... they got blurred as he constantly quivered with excitement. He still quivers with excitement! He was born with a mission to close up the age gap with DS1, and people think it is closer than it is to the point where people ask if they are twins. Sociable. Gregarious. Loves attention. Loves people. Has a very easy cheeky charm. Has a knack of drawing random people into conversation. Micheiveous streak. Worked out how to move before he could sit! Sleep is for the weak. Physically adept, was the child that made other parents suck through their teeth in the playground. Independent, but cuddly. Also quirky but differently to DS1. Confident in his own choices. I'm sure he draws energy from me! The Duracel Bunny has nothing on him... as a baby his bedtime routine involved two hours in the jumperoo to exercise him enough to go to sleep

Yes, eldest was loud, bossy (would sit in her highchair throwing stuff at me whilst shouting Mum, Mum , Mum NO NO NO!! ) and an attention seeker and loved an audience. Don't get me wrong, she was cute and hilariously funny at times when she was little because you never knew what mischief she would get up to next. She is now at full time dance college training to be a professional performer.

Youngest was a good baby, would follow me everywhere as a toddler even to the toilet, and would sit patiently outside waiting for me. At 14 she is still a good girl, doesn't really give me any bother (unlike her sister's teenage years) and is much more of a home bird. She is happiest when she is at home with me, just chilling in her room.

DS1 sociable, first word was “hello”, loved music and babbled/crooned pre speech. He sings and plays various instruments in a band, and has an outrageous stage persona (think Dave Lee Roth)
DS2 always wanted to be nocturnal, right from birth, so the school years were a bit difficult in that respect, but now they're over, he has reverted.

Yes in some ways no in others.
Dd1 thought carefully before trying anything. She was very sociable and would go to anyone, and arrange herself nicely if you stuck a camera in front of her.
She now thinks carefully before trying anything, but doesn't find socialising easy and will hide at the thought of a camera.

Dd2 was very active, jumped in with two feet first and thought afterwards and glared at anyone who even looked at her.
She still acts first and thinks afterwards, but u til teenage stroppiness set in people always commented on how much she smiled.

Ds' was a very laid back baby. Just let things wash over him. Unfortunately that didn't continue, although I do wonder how much difference the constant illnesses made.

The midwife told me DD had a very clear personality when she was less than 24 hours old. My other 2 are quite chilled and quiet but my DD is loud, confident, argumentative, bossy, very sociable and quite hard work.

DS - yes. He was always quite quiet and calm which he still is at 15.

DD - has changed completely. She was loud, stroppy, hilarious and demanding as a toddler and us now quite reserved and self aware. Still hilarious though.

DS is 10 and yes he’s exactly the same- funny, full of energy, very gentle and sweet natured, sensitivitie, cautious in new situations, confident in those he’s comfortable in.

Yes. We adopted DD at 11 months; she had been in foster care since birth. She was calm, patient and heartbreakingly trusting with a great sense of fun. She was ready for any adventure life held for her.

Mid teens now. She has always been unflappable, resilient, determined, kind and full of laughter.

It infuriates me when people on MN insist that all adopted children are damaged or have "baggage". My DD is wired for happiness and we are so lucky to have her in our lives.

DS: Alpha, sunny, sociable, impatient, quick, born with a ball in his hand (arrived 3.5 weeks early). I said when he was a tiny baby he'd come in with the milk. He does.

DD: Quiet, diffident, anxious, does things in her own time when she's confident of a good outcome. Stubborn and an island. Born at 41.5 weeks - whizzo fast labour. Walked at 16 months mastering standin unaided first never cruised. Until she was 3 never happy unless part of her was touching part if me. We have had a bit of a battle with depression and anxiety but all well now - though looking back.

They are 24 and 20.

Yes. Ds1 is very different to Ds2. That's why I find the nature v nurture debate so interesting.

Yes, totally. DD was always loud, bossy, highly sociable but difficult to live with. DS was quiet, solitary, easy-going and easy to live with. They were like that as babies and are still like it as adults.

I’m really interested in this as I can see traits in my 2 year old that she had as a baby and have been wondering how much of they carries through into later childhood. She was always ahead on the personal/social questionnaire stuff as a baby and you can see it now in that she played with friends (rather than alongside them) from a really early age, she’s quite easy going and shares really nicely and is exploring relationships and emotions in a way that seems quite sophisticated for her age. She also had an independent streak from being tiny and that has been translated into her being ahead on her gross motor skills all the way through but also a fierce determination to do things herself.

What I don’t know is how much is nature v nurture. Do children continue to excel in early strengths as a baby because they get praise for them and parents encourage certain activities more? Do they get put into a certain ‘box’ which then shapes interactions etc. I just find the whole thing fascinating.

DS1 peed on the Dr as soon as he was born. Now as an adult he is quite the pisshead.

Ds came out screaming his head off - and has never stopped since (ASD)

Dd2 at a few hours old lifted her head up and round whilst lying down for a photo. She is determined, stubborn and a force to be reckoned with. If she wants to do something she will.

DD is now 5 and thinking about it, there are some traits which have always been there.

She's always been quick to learn new things and that's still true now. She's also remained close or distant with the same people.

Yes, definitely. My DS was always very quiet, happy and independent. He was in his own world from early on and still is the same now aged almost nine.

DD1 was a nightmare from the off . She was the loudest baby I’ve ever known, she had terrible anxiety pretty much from the start and would scream if anyone other than me so much as looked at her. She was literally glued to my hip from the start and is still highly strung now. DD2 is like a combination between both of them. Very bright from the start, hit milestones the quickest etc. She’s still the most academic.

DC4 is only 13 weeks and is very much like his brother was so I can only hope he will grow into the same sort of child .