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I’ve got myself into a pickle with childminders. WWYD?

11 replies

AveAtqueVale · 28/01/2019 20:40

Disclaimer: this is a ridiculous first world problem, but is stressing me hugely!

Basically, DS2 goes to two different childminders, both of whom are absolutely lovely, and amazing in their own ways. They’re very different in their approaches but he loves going to both and gets on well with the other children in both settings.

He goes to CM1 Monday and Tuesday, and CM2 Thursday and some Fridays. CM2 also takes DS1 to school and collects him on the days she has DS2, as her children are at the same school.

When we started this arrangement I sort of intended that if CM2 ever had space to take him on the other days, we’d move him to her entirely, as it would be more convenient as she can do DS1 school run too. But now she’s mentioned that might be the case in July, and I don’t know what to do. It would be more practical, but he’s so happy with CM1 and particularly loves two of the other children with her. Also, CM1 is fab at having him for extra days at shortish notice, and also gives him lunch. Selfishly, I hate making packed lunches and doing it 1 or 2 days a week for CM2 is quite enough!

But I’m worried if I say to CM2 we don’t want to take her up on her offer she’ll be hurt, and think we’re unhappy with her, which is definitely not the case! To make matters worse my work days are going to change to either MTW or WTF in August but I don’t know which yet. CM2 now sounds like she’ll have space on Wednesdays but CM1 won’t. I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings and genuinely think DS2 gets a lot out of both settings. ARGH.

OP posts:
DustandRubble · 28/01/2019 20:50

Just say “oh DS loves both settings so much that I’d rather keep the current arrangement.” It’s really not a big deal. Don’t go in in all apologies and excuses, just say no thank you.

DustandRubble · 28/01/2019 20:52

Although do check days with CM1 though. As if she can’t do Wednesdays then obviously you need to take up CM2 offer.

AveAtqueVale · 28/01/2019 20:54

Don’t go in in all apologies and excuses

Blush

I am the queen of over-apologising. Maybe I’ll delegate this to DH...

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Passthepigs · 28/01/2019 20:58

Keep both minders, if one is ever off sick or can’t work then youve got a back up and it’s good for your child to have a relationship with more than one person.

I say this as my DS’s childminder has currently not been working for a month due to a family circumstance. It means we’ve had to try and find someone else to have DS which has been a nightmare and he is finding it difficult to settle with the new one.

LIZS · 28/01/2019 21:01

How much longer will ds2 need daycare?

Smoggle · 28/01/2019 21:01

Just keep in mind though that if CM2 has a full time place coming up and you turn it down, someone else might want it and you'll lose the Thursday and Friday with her.

AveAtqueVale · 28/01/2019 21:07

LIZS he’s only 18 months, so a while still. And Smoggle yes I did wonder that. I think though the space is opening up because another full time child is leaving, who is currently there on DS2’s days, so not sure if that would be the case or not.

OP posts:
AveAtqueVale · 28/01/2019 21:09

Passthepigs that sounds so stressful! We ended up in this situation because the nursery DS2 had just settled at closed with one day’s notice. So we had to find people in a hurry and I didn’t particularly click with any of the childminders who were able to have him full time at that point.

OP posts:
hidinginthenightgarden · 28/01/2019 21:12

Well you are going to need a Wednesday anyway so could you not just say you will take the extra day on Wednesdays but don't need mon/tues?

LIZS · 28/01/2019 21:14

If he is only 18 months he will adapt to being in an already familiar setting more often and it makes your life easier with school drop,offs - win win?

kathrynwithak · 28/01/2019 21:22

As a childminder myself hold fire. Wait and see what the circumstances are nearer the time? Maybe the childminders can work together to agree with you as a team? As in you all. I want my minders to be happy; have experiences and friends outside my setting. I also want to support the family through thick and thin. I love watching my minders grow and enjoy and support the relationships I have with the extended family. Communication at the end of the day!

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