Worst day at work

[Chickenflicking]

Does anyone else's mother always, always point out what they've done wrong?

Today, I've had a horrible time and ended up in a confrontation. I rang my mum in tears, only to be told that I can be difficult, that I'm my own worst enemy and it probably was my fault.

The thing is, she may well be right, but she always does this, to the extent that I don't want to tell her bad things but somehow feel compelled to do so. I think it's so much part of my psyche that I always think other people are right, and see my own faults much clearer than theirs.

So my question is, are all mums like this, or is it just mine? I don't want her to lie to me, but some support sometimes would be good!

I've rarely confided in my mother simply because it'll get instantly turned around to be my fault. Her stock response is 'I can't be doing with this' regardless of whether it was something minor or life-changing.
It's taken me 65 years to finally decide that keeping all conversations to a trivial level is the only way to go. I will never forget her telling DH he should 'give her (me) a good hiding' when my marriage was seriously troubled.
My father's no better, he catastrophises everything as if it's a personal slight even when it's something truly awful happening to someone close.

I am the only person I know who doesn't eyeroll at least a little bit about their mum for this sort of thing or for being an interfering nightmare. However, the result is that all three of us kids (in our forties and fifties) fight like cat and dog because nobody has ever been set straight or taught to accept they might be wrong. Its not what I'm doing with my own kids.

Speaking as a parent with adult chidren (who have a tendency to over share with me) sometimes I really can't cope with all their trials and tribulations, I have enough of my own. I am also a bit of a worrier and logically some of their "problems/niggles" tend to linger with me and I will keep going over them in my mind.
I am not unsympathetic to any of them, and try and be supportive, but I think as parents you always feel responsible for your children even when they are adult and sometimes its difficult not to give your opinion whether positive or negative.
Perhaps better you that you share with a good friend ie someone who has a different relationship with you and obviously a different opinion of you.
Just a thought!

I can't speak for anyone else here but I certainly don't go running off to my mum with tales of woe - experience has taught me that it is futile.

The problem is that I have grown up with this attitude. When I was bullied at school, it was my fault because I need to be more likeable. When I got As in every subject apart from one B, it was proof that I wan't good enough. If I dared mention being busy studying for exams, it would be reinterpreted as struggling to keep up. When I entered the world of work I was met with constant surprise when I climbed the ladder and achieved more senior roles, being told I'd never keep up with the pace and was doomed to fail. So no, I have learned never to talk to my mum about this stuff but you can't just draw that line and assume everything is fine. It gets to me when I hear friends talking about their adult children in such a supportive way, or friends telling me that when they've had a bad day, their mum always knows what to say. And stupidly, every so often, my emotions get the best of me and i try to test the waters - and then I get burnt. Again. I took my mum into my office once in a misguided attempt to get her respect. Rather than be impressed by the fact that, as a manager, I had a really nice office, she wanted to know if I had done something wrong and that why nobody wanted to share space with me.

I'm lucky that I do have DH to vent to about work issues so I rarely have to bring this up with my mum but, as I mentioned upthread, she happens to be staying with us this week, when I am dealing with a massively challenging situation - and facing potential redundancy which is unrelated to the challenging situation but I can't help feeling that how I deal with the former will have a bearing on my job security. It is really hard to switch off from all this at home but there is no point trying to explain the situation to her as I'll just end up feeling worse. I'm just frustrated that I'm in this situation where I have to hide a section of my life from my mum and that she's not like other parents in this respect. As I said, I don't want to be mollycoddled or be told that my boss is a big bad meanie. You can still be supportive while treating someone as an adult. At the very least, it would be nice to be able to mention I've had a crap day with the conversation going no further - the immediate assumption that whatever problem I'm facing must be my own fault, is what I object to.

Never understand why people still go running to their parents after the age of 25 because my mum is caring and sympathetic and sometimes when you’ve had a bad day, you just want to talk to someone you know will be on your side. It’s very sad that people on this thread don’t think mums are there to unconditionally support no matter your age