Is this any of her business? Family tree

[pepperjack]

some long lost family of my Husbands father got in touch. My husband was freaked out by it and didn't follow anything up. They have worked out the family tree.
He only had his mum, his dad died when he was little.
Then my husband died and this family have been in touch with me. I'm interested, they are my sons family. I've since met a couple of them.
Mil been a bit cagey about it, not said much, said she didn't know any of her husbands family.
Then, my mil's sister in law (her late brothers wife) keeps sending me ancestry posts about my husbands father. Why is she looking into this family tree?
Mil said she's just nosey, hasn't spoken to her for years, not even when brother died, and I feel disloyal replying to her emails, but she's getting it all wrong, sending me arrest details for a man with the same name. I have the family tree, do I just send it to her to shut her up?
But it's none of her business really.
Worried that I'll open the can of worms with skeletons in the closet

Do you mean that they are saying your late pil is a criminal?

She's just sending me everything she finds, it's obviously her new hobby. But yes, one of them is an arrest record.

So its the sil (not blood related at all to your DHs dad) who is sending you all these updates ?

Just tell her OP .
Tell her that you really have little interest in the man and would prefer it if she kindly kept her research to herself , or to interested parties.

I am into ancestry but do not relay info on , unless I find a photo of somebody none of us had ever seen then I will share it, but with my cousins, who have the same ancestor .

I am so sorry to hear your DH has died .

The trouble with a lot of family tree enthusiasts (lots of families have one of those!) is that they're so focused on finding information that they don't think through how their enquiry messages might be received.

Yes, she's not blood related at all.
But if I actually sent her the family tree and other details I have, it would shut her up.
But it's really none of her business

my husband and my mum are both seriously into family tree research.
They are very careful about sharing details, and they both say that there is LOADS of wrong information out there.

People see the same name and make leaps which they shouldn't. make connectionss where there aren't any. You have to be quite meticulous in yoru research, and most people aren't.

So I would write back and say please stop sending us stuff, you obviously have the wrong person, and we do not want to know.

I’m sorry to hear about your DH 💐. Did your DH say why he was framed out? Seems like an odd reaction to me if there wasn’t any to hide that he was aware of.

I think it’s nice for your DS to be in touch with part of his Dad’s family and to have some information.

As for MIL’s SIL it’s a bit weird. It’s not against the law so she’s fully entitled to research whatever she likes, it doesn’t mean you have to be part of it. Some people have NO critical thinking skills and make the things they find ‘fit’ instead of proving into.

Send her an email saying the email address is no longer in use.

I'm not sure why you think it's none of her business but then I'm deeply into family history and love learning the stories and imagining the lives of those I'm connected with - however distantly they may be related.

I would ask her if she wants the research h you've got, and see what she says. Some researchers feel that's cheating, some like to be collaborative.

If you're certain her research is wrong about this criminal then I think I would tell her that much if only to ensure that the wrong information wasn't published on ancestry or similar and end up with my kids or future grandkids thinking this guy was a felon when he wasn't.

The Ancestry site gives lots of ' hints'. People don't check them out properly and just accept them onto their tree. Just tell her she has made a mistake, don't give her your knowledge unless you want to. It is surprising how many people have the same or similar names and dates of birth.

Annie- because it's not her family- it's her late husbands sisters husbands!!

Just email her and tell her that you have the family tree already so there is no need to send you anymore information.
If she asks for the info just say that it isn't your family history to disclose.

Some of my more distant relatives are into this but keep getting muddled up between cousins etc with same names from the same village/small town/area and which person married which wife etc.

They seem to ignore the 'big' scandal which I think is the only interesting thing about the whole lot of them.

This is the danger when people haven't a clue what they're doing, and cobble a heap of stuff together without checking anything properly.

It's interesting that your MIL has been a bit cagey about the whole thing and hasn't kept in touch with this woman. I can't help wondering whether there is an old rift or some such mystery way back, and it has all been kept buried up to now. It's quite possible your MIL knows nothing anyway.

Perhaps you could just send this woman the bare bones of a tree (leaving out anyone born 1919 onwards) and say that it is very kind of her to send stuff, but you aren't planning on ever doing any research so there's really no need. If you know for certain that some of her 'facts' are incorrect, then tell her that as well.

I've just been back over her emails and she's actually got all the family tree details, the long lost relative brought her up to speed on ancestry.com.
So I don't know why she's sending me questions and documents that aren't relevant.

Just ignore her, block her, and move on