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Original poster

Am I too positive?!!

51 replies

Ratatouille76 · 28/01/2019 10:36

Basically I try to have a really positive attitude to life. I'm really grateful for my family, my home, friends, my health, a job I love, my children are healthy my marriage is good. I really try to appreciate stuff and not take things for granted. But my parents will say well you need a new bathroom or a decent car, etc, etc. Course in an ideal world those things would be nice but we can't afford it and I genuinely don't mind. I would love to win the lottery as much as the next person but I read on here about couples that can't have children or their children are ill or they have a chronic illness and I just feel incredibly gratefully. It could all change so quickly. My parents take the piss out of my attitude to life but are they just being very materialistic or should I be wanting more? My mother will say don't think you deserve the best of everything and I will say no actually I don't. No more than anyone else!

OP posts:
howcaniiii · 29/01/2019 09:52

You sound fab OP. I'm taking stock reading these posts!

DisgraceToTheYChromosome · 29/01/2019 09:54

Trust me, we could all do with being like you. Just your attitude gives you a better immune system.

user1494670108 · 29/01/2019 10:12

I'm generally like this, the only downside is that sometimes I think I can be a bit naive about consequences of things (eg I almost failed my degree as didn't properly think through the consequences of not turning up to lectures Blush)

Original poster
Ratatouille76 · 29/01/2019 10:55

I can relate to that! I had a very laid back to my education at Uni. It was free then I suppose! I do get stressed and lose my shit with my kids, same as anyone!

OP posts:
Original poster
Ratatouille76 · 01/02/2019 10:56

2 things have helped me. Giving up Facebook and finding an exercise I really love and look forward to doing.

OP posts:
ImMeantToBeWorking · 01/02/2019 12:11

I have the same outlook on life as you.

I would rather have memories than a new car in the drive way and expensive clothes in my driveway.

If you have a house that you are happy in, with kids and DP who are healthy, who cares if you don't have a brand new bathroom. Sure how much time do you spend in it really anyway?

When your kids are grown up, they won't remember the new car you bought, or the time you replaced the kitchen. They will remember the trips to the sea side, the times they went on holiday, the memories you made as a family.

Unfortunately there are people who want to have the best of the best, because it's what people wee, but at the end of the day, you can't bring any of it with you!

Original poster
Ratatouille76 · 02/02/2019 07:20

Absolutely!

OP posts:
HarrySnotter · 02/02/2019 07:22

OP I think I you sound absolutely lovely and I wish I was more like you. In fact I'm going to make a conscious effort to do so!

SubparOwl · 02/02/2019 07:25

You sound fantastic and I shall try to emulate this!

Dongdingdong · 02/02/2019 07:26

Are you positive about Brexit, OP?

HarrySnotter · 02/02/2019 07:48

No chance of a thread without mentioning Brexit then ...?

AnoukSpirit · 02/02/2019 08:14

It's not really "positive" though, it's just "not materialistic". The people you're comparing yourself to aren't negative, they're just more materialistic than you.

Being contented with your lot in life is great, but it's not exactly a challenge or special skill when it's not a life filled with pain or hardships. I'm not sure why everyone is patting each other on the back for being contented with good things; it's a bit crass. There'd be something wrong if you weren't able to feel that in those circumstances.

Dongdingdong · 02/02/2019 09:08

No chance of a thread without mentioning Brexit then ...?

Sorry - I’m just genuinely interested in how the OP deals with the Brexit situation using a positive mindset. I could do with some pointers!

Original poster
Ratatouille76 · 02/02/2019 09:11

Yes I knew it was the wrong word. More contentment. Thanks Anouk. (Happy clappy Pollyanna thoughts!!)

I'm not positive about Brexit no.

OP posts:
MontanaSkies · 02/02/2019 09:14

I want to be your friend too OP! I've been called "easily pleased" as a sort of (joking) insult because I'm happy with my lot. But I see it as a positive thing, being content and grateful for the things I have, even if they might not look much to an outsider.

(It doesn't mean you can't continue to work towards goals or have ambitions.)

So yes, let's reclaim "Easily pleased" as a positive!

Exploration2018 · 02/02/2019 09:19

MN gives you a good reality check and helps you put things in perspective. I've had a renewed appreciation for my DH since using MN! Some people have so much to deal with, it really does make you appreciate what you have.

Dongdingdong · 02/02/2019 09:19

I'm not positive about Brexit no.

Ah.

FlagFish · 02/02/2019 09:23

I'm also a happy positive person - a natural optimist. I have a lovely family and we are comfortable financially. There's nothing I want that I haven't got.

(Except to stay in the EU that is.)

Original poster
Ratatouille76 · 02/02/2019 09:23

Sorry! Fuck all we can do though eh.

OP posts:
Parthenope · 02/02/2019 09:23

What Anouk said. I don’t think you’re unduly ‘positive’, you’re simply not someone who gets excited about bathrooms or cars. I’m a fairly gloomy person, personally, but am entirely with you on the unexcitingness of bathrooms and cars as objects of desire. I am baffled by people’s desire for a new car — my own extend only to whether it still goes reasonably reliably or not.

user1493413286 · 02/02/2019 09:26

I’m reading this post with interest as while I’m very grateful for my life, Iately I feel like I moan a lot and focus on the negatives which doesn’t make me feel very happy or that fun to be around

brizzledrizzle · 02/02/2019 09:29

I once saw a meme which said some people are so poor that all they have is money. I think that can be spot on. Obviously it's hard for people who genuinely have nothing and are in extreme poverty but people who are wealthy and 'have it all' can be very miserable and miss out on real love and companionship.

woollyheart · 02/02/2019 09:39

You know what your priorities are, and are focussing your energies on those.

Don't worry about things that other people thing you should want! You are right to enjoy the things you have chosen.

everythingisginandroses · 02/02/2019 11:10

Enjoy it all and don't fall prey to discontent. I was brought up by my grandparents and my grandmother was always finding fault, so I vowed not to be like that. She had reasons for discontent, TBF: bright girl forced to leave school at 14 and go into domestic service, more kids than she really wanted and always had to work, no money.

We are not well off, but I love my life and try to appreciate what I have every single day. Nearly dying at 39 sharpens you up a bit too, I found.

Is there a Polish expression which translates as: "It's a good life if you don't weaken"? I read that in a novel once and would like to be real Smile

yikesanotherbooboo · 02/02/2019 13:28

I agree with your attitude. My experience is that as long as you are fed and warm and you and your family are well , extra money just buys more of the same and doesn't add to quality of life. When we were young we rented, had an ancient car, didn't pay for education , ate a lot of eggs and potatoes and any holidays were absolutely bargain basement and brief. All our needs ( and more) were met. We now spend more on everything. We are lucky but not happier. I can't imagine having a goal of a new car. I think being positive is a lovely way to be and will keep you in good stead if something bad happens.

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