My husband went away for his once a year trip to see his family & friends who live in a country very far away (too far to go more than once a year). I couldn't go with him due to work commitments near my family & I also use the opportunity to visit my family at the same time, for the only time during the year.
We're almost half way through the trip but I always seem to feel a bit forgotten by him. Although he texts me every day, it doesn't feel equal. My heart skips a beat when I receive a message from him & I reply instantly, but he often won't read my texts for some time because he's busy with family or friends.. or watching TV... and then when he does reply I don't get the same sense of love from him that I feel in return.
The emotions just feel a bit unequal. I've tried talking to him about it, but he becomes defensive & says I'm not being fair on him because he's only able to see them once a year- the rest of the year he's with me. He's right of course, but while I'm with my family I don't seem to react the same way he does- in that even if I'm in a crowded room, I'd still be eagerly looking forward to any message from him.
I don't think he's in the wrong, perhaps he has a more "normal" healthy level of love for me, and perhaps mine is too attached / obsessive?
He doesn't notice my clinginess because I play it down & hide it most of the time. I will often stop myself from texting him if he hasn't replied yet. But recently, I talked to him about it, so now the cat's out of the bag.
There just seems to be no real solution to this. I can't see how either of us are going to change.. the same applies when we're living together & he's at work or we're apart for even a moment.
I don't know why I'm this way with him- I never was this extreme with anyone else. Is it normal to miss your husband to this extreme? (Struggle to think or concentrate or focus on my own life).
I've tried cooking off & not messaging him unless he messages first.. but then he just kept asking me what's wrong. When I said "nothing", he gave up asking fairly quickly.
I just don't know what to do... it probably doesn't feel good for either of us.