Was he playing me?

[TinklyLittleLaugh]

DD1 is 23 and in her head she thinks her next relationship will be "the one" So she's been asking me about people I went out with before her Dad, ones that got away and how I knew her Dad was for keeps.

Anyway, I told her about the one who was nearly the one. Basically I had a massive crush on this beautiful guy for 3 years at uni and he never even glanced in my direction. A year after I graduated I went to a party and he was there.

We started chatting and it turned out our parents lived a couple of miles from each other and I went to school with his cousin. And basically everyone, and I mean everyone, I knew at uni, he knew too. It was amazing that we'd never met properly before. We had similar taste in (fairly obscure) music and books and films and we laughed at the same things. It was like this weird fate thing. And he was saying, "I think you must be my dream girl, you even look just like I always imagined my dream girl to look." (I had a fairly distinctive Merida hair).

Anyhow, I was seeing someone else at the time, (not DH) and even though I was so so tempted, I did the honourable thing and wouldn't even kiss him. And he absolutely begged me to take his number but I threw it away the next day. Thirty years on and perfectly happy with DH, but I've always wondered, "What if?"

So I told my DD this tale and she laughed her head off. Said he was playing me, saying stuff I wanted to hear, that men do it all the time. I dunno, it felt quite sincere at the time. Maybe I'm just a bit stupid and gullible. It was 30 years ago, so not important. Just venting really.

DD1 is 23 and in her head she thinks her next relationship will be "the one

Based on this, I don't think your DD is expert on all romantic interactions. Why are you putting so much weight on what she said? You were there, you lived it all. Don't feel bad about it now.

DD is something of a serial monogamist having had a succession of relationships since she was 16 and generally having to fight lads off with a stick. She reckons she's played the field enough now, often with pretty but hopeless young men, and wants to find the right person for the long term.

I just say, "That's nice dear".

But you're right. My kids have a tendency to file me under, "Nice but slightly hopeless" and I give their opinions far too much weight.

She's 23! What she doesn't know would fill a warehouse. Don't let it bother you.

Your daughter may be running slightly late on this, but I like this quote from Mark Twain:
"When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years."