I need to snap out of it!

[user1495209265]

Jeeze I'm so angry tonight...
I found out when our daughter was 3 months old that my husband had a serious gambling addiction.
He run up credit card debt of £12,000 and spent the money we were saving for my maternity leave in the betting shops.
I was devastated and it pushed our marriage to breaking point.
Because there is no savings, I'm having to return to work when our daughter will be 8 months old - my first day back is next week.
My original return to work date should've been 1st July 2019 with holiday accrued.
Although we've tried to move on since it all came out and he has done really well with counselling and abstaining from gambling for 5 months, I am still struggling to forgive him.
I know I probably sound really entitled and like a bit of a brat, but I've worked since I was 15 (now 33) and so wanted to spend as much time with my baby as possible... it feels like he has taken that from me.
Im grateful for the time I've had off with my baby and I know many women have less but I still can't seem to snap out of this sadness/anger.

Anyone else experienced anything similar? I know I need to let go of the resentment otherwise it will destroy our marriage x

No @user1495209265 you don't sound entitled not bratty, I would feel exactly the same!
I'm so sorry your in this position, perhaps some councilling for you too to try and let this go as much as possible before it rips you both apart. Best of luck op

You're not being entitled at all, it's understandable you feel that way when you were planning to have more time off.

I'm glad to hear your husband has not gambled for 5 months. I hope he's blacklisted himself from the bookies.

Can you get some counselling for yourself? You may find it helpful to talk to someone about this.

Thanks ladies :)
Yes, thankfully he has banned himself from all local betting shops and we have the Nanny net software on all home technology.
We argued again last night about it because he made a flippant comment about this being my last week off work and I should make the most of it. He meant no malice but it really rubbed me up the wrong way, and I snapped back 'well it shouldn't be my last week of maternity but here we are!', and it escalated from there.

I think I will look into having some counselling as I don't want this to rip us apart anymore than it already has.

I’m not surprised. He has taken something special away from Dd and you. He is going to need to work hard to rectify his mistakes and redeem himself