My partner has 1 step child from a previous relationship whom he considers his own, 3 other children of his own and I have 1 from my previous relationship. I have always accommodated all his children, giving up everything and providing them with a home, buying all their clothes and presents and cleaning up after them ( my partner does nothing!). Our parenting styles are very different and my partner does not pick up on rudeness and bad behaviour so sometimes I have to step in. My 14 year old step daughters behaviour became really bad and very destructive about a year ago, when I tried to talk to her about this and set boundaries she decided she no longer wanted to come and stay. She wants to have fun days out and holidays but makes it really clear in front of myself and daughter that she wants the whole family to go but not to include myself and daughter. My partner accommodates this and see this as my issue. At Christmas we were all supposed to go sledging and on the day he turned round and said that they wanted to go on their own without me and it is expected that myself and daughter will drop everything for their feelings. I have explained that just because I am an adult I also have feelings but this reviewed as selfish and his children's feelings are more important so I accommodate it. My daughter also told me recently that she feels left out and depressed as she feels we are all part of a family (since she was 5) but then rejected and the only one left behind whilst they go off. I have just found out this morning that my step daughter she is receiving counselling. I feel bad for her as she clearly is not coping with having 2 families but still feel that we should try and do things together but to talk it through. I also try and encourage one to one time for her and her Dad but just feel she calls the shots which then has an impact on our family. I am interested to hear other peoples feelings either way and I will try and be open minded !!!