Cannot switch off from work.... any advice/anyone the same?

[pricipeitisnot]

I undertook a degree to gain a job I had wanted to do for many years. Painful doing degree with kids in tow and on my own, but 6 months into my first job and its having a massive impact on me.

I try to switch off but my mind constantly wanders back to work and everything that I haven't done. I dream of work every night (bad dreams) and often grind teeth and wake up really tense and achy because of it

It's getting worse, not better...... anyone else been through this, any advice?

I'm not but used to be involved in children's services. It wasn't as stressful when I used to be there. But I left as everything changed.

OP Please look for another job. I appreciate that SW is awfully stressful but it seems you are getting no help at all from your managers.

BikeRunSki I am shocked at your post. You have always got such good supportive advice for everyone on here, knows the time to get some for yourself. No job is worth wrecking your life for.

@LakeIsle48, the rune comment was a bit tongue in cheek. I very rarely drink on a school night, and if DH and I finish as much as a whole bottle of wine between us on a weekend, that’s rare.

The bollocking in 1998 just added to natural anxiety. My dad’s death, Children, and now perimenopause have just added to the mix of insomniac tendencies, and work is usually at the forefront of my mind at 3 am. But I honestly don’t use wine as a crutch.

This thread makes me realize how hard life is sometimes, yes I stay awake worrying about work too 🙈

You need to give yourself a break op. It's horrific at the moment and children's services are only really working crisis cases. Your managers sound dreadful. I can't see anything wrong in you booking your own supervision with them instead of waiting. Look to move teams as you need better support than you've got. Mindfulness is a great idea.

I’m an AHP and often do this too. I try to say to myself “it’s 3 in the morning,there’s nothing you can do” “worrying won’t change what’s happening” etc

My wholehearted sympathies. What an amazingly important job you're doing. I can't imagine who challenging it is. You deserve all possible support.

I get similar anxiety. I 'm a lawyer with a full caseload of asylum cases, many of them children. I have impossible deadlines and hear detailed accounts about torture and other trauma all day, every day.

For many years I just took sleeping pills every night. Otherwise I would just literally lie awake until it was time to get the train to work again!

But now I sleep through the night naturally.

Here's what has helped:

1. Moved out of a job with a crazy chaotic manager who created a panic/blame/fear culture. Now I work for someone who has the attitude of 'You're all professionals with excellent qualifications, that's why I hired you, I know you're doing your best.' We all help each other and if you're unsure about something you can ask... It makes a huge difference.

1. CBT didn't help me. However I went to a private therapist who did this work called' focusing'. For me, it helped me really get in touch with my body and recognise the warning signs when I was starting to get stressed. Then I could do breathing, etc. to head it off before the adrenaline flooded in.

3.Yoga and mediation!

1. Five minutes of meditation in car before I went in.

1. Maybe counterintuitive, but I got involved with some professional associations putting on seminars, volunteered with some pro bono initiatives abroad (short term). A change is as good as a rest, and it helped me connect with other people in the field and remember why I got into this field in the first place. Is there something similar you can do?

1. That said, I don't know whether I can stay in full-time practice until I'm 65 or whatever.

Best of luck to you!!!!

Thanks all for replies. Another night of dreaming of work and teeth grinding here! Interesting to hear different experiences and how you dealt with it. I definitely need to do something.

Yes am ASYE, cases already in court. My manager is considered the best one in Safeguarding in our LA! I do book supervision in her calendar but there is always a crisis and it never happens. I purposely left laptop at work but am stressing as CP and LAC visits not recorded as was working on overdue court documents for submission.

Reading some of these terrible situations on this thread makes me think the root cause of the problem is bullying which is rife and largely ignored, minimised and swept under the carpettiles of most companies.

Until they make bullying stigmatised and unlawful like Harrassment (unlawful because it's tied to a specific law - the Equality Act) inept managers and employees will continue to behave badly and get away with toxic behaviour. Some organisations take a zero tolerance to bullying and Harrassment and don't just tick a box, but that's only when management are prepared to acknowledge the damaging effects such as losing talented staff who can't take the stress anymore and take their contributions elsewhere, where they can be treated with respect.

We are running a B &H support thread on Employment Issues which is a safe place to discuss any concerns and gives pointers to support organisations to help. But mainly it's about moral support, and trying to regain self-esteem if confidence is shot to pieces.

If you are ASYE can you speak to your practice educator about lack of supervision? Does your PE offer case supervision? Mine sometimes used to when I was knee deep in cases going tits up.

Daisy thanks for directing me to the bullying and harassment thread, I'll check it out. The bullying at work is ruining my life.

Practice educator.... met her once for 20mins!!!

LakeIsle, glad to help, bullying can have a lifelong effect on a person. Key thing is to remember it isn't you, even though it can feel like it is. It's the perpetrator's issue.

Here's the thread if anyone's in need of a chat

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/employment_issues/3432297-Workplace-Bullying-Support-Thread

I'm a Clinical Lead AHP (18 long years) and my work anxiety just gets worse and worse. I'm very aware of how much I don't know (had much less wit and insight when I was younger) and have the 'wake with a jolt at 2.30am' experience most nights. It's truly grim.

I try to use my commute to work out the days stresses and it helps to a degree but I still can't switch off completely. At times I'm actually better when I'm at work as I can check or try to deal with the immediate panics. Should also mention an obsessive need to check and double check what I do on autopilot (locking filing cabinets/filing/shredding) as I literally can't remember doing it and that makes me panic. Fun fun fun.

Is changing posts an option OP?