Arsehole Spider

[TaighNamGastaOrt]

Sitting eating lunch. Feel a tickle at the top of my cheeks (yes, my chubby cheeks are hanging hamster fashion over my jeans slightly.)
Ask DH to check my crack as bit freaked out. He assures me it's nothing.
Ok, carry on, feel another tickle.
Now I'm freaking out, cos it's a definite tickle but nobody behind me! Look at back of my top to see cheeky wee spider sauntering up my back!
Argh!
DH and kids in kinks!
Anyone else found a spider or an insect in an inappropriate crevice?

P.s apologies to my neighbours if you heard me jumping in garden, brushing frantically at myself whilst shouting Arsehole Spider, Arsehole Spider

I think a MNer found a dead spider in their gusset once OP. You are not alone.

Oh crap, was it a gusset spider? Had to change pants as felt yucky that he'd maybe wiped his spider willy and hairy ringpiece across my M & S granny pants!

Been stung by a bee whilst in bed, probably early hours of the morning. Felt something buzzing around and thought it was a fly or something. Nah, bee trying to curl up next to me in bed. Only realised when I had an itch and the stinger came out my bum cheek.

Am very glad it wasn't a bee! Or a wasp! A spider in my gusset beats a stinger!
Just

Its probably the funniest thing I've had happen in a very long time. 😂 wasn't funny at the time though.

I had a very large black hairy one on my head a while back, kept feeling a tickle on the top of my head, gave it a scratch a couple of times and then I felt it walking across my scalp. I completely freaked out, slapped myself hard on the head as I leapt 6 feet into the air and the evil thing flew to the floor and tried to run off before I murdered its ass. Its been months now but I can still feel the sensation of its disgusting hairy legs skittering over my scalp.

In hospital whilst on a drip after having my kidney out. Woke up and felt a crawling on my arm. Peered down and there is was - the biggest, hairiest spider
I think my fight of flight kicked in as a screamed, leaped up and then the pain kicked inand I ended up in a heap on the floor, my dip had pinged out, my catheter tube pulled across the bed with the spider casually crawling across the floor away from me.
I needed two nurses to get me back into bed!!!

My dear cat 'threw' one at me,a couple of months ago. She was poking around in the corner of the bathroom and as I approached the door saying 'What are you doing?',she batted it with her paw and it came flying towards me,landing at my feet.

Hubby woke one morning to find that, sometime in the night, a wolf spider had got trapped into his top and fought it's way out.

So the wee hairy twats don;t just hide in my fusty gusset then? Can;t imagine having one on my head!
Ugh, I've just put on clean pjs but checked them first. Clearly I need to gut and hoover my undies drawer.
And the whole house!!

In fact, would IBU to burn my house?

We have big wolf spiders that breed under our shed (at the far end of the garden). One day, that shed will burn.

When I was around 7yrs old I was sitting in circle time at school and suddenly my crotch started to itch, then I felt a sharp nip on my labia so I had a frantic scratch and excused myself to go to the toilet.

When I pulled down my knickers to have a look at what was happening down there I saw a squashed ant in my gusset!

oh holy crap TheBreastmilk! An ant bit your fanny?
You win!!

I did once trip over a cockroach while on holiday-it was fucking huge!

TaighNamGastaOrt - yep I didn’t believe it till I saw/felt it.

Did you land on the cockroach and squash it? Eew.

I had a huge black moth fly out my knickers as I sat on the toilet one day.It must have been in there all morning as this was lunchtime.My husband came running up the stairs wondering what all the screaming was about.