I feel like a shitty friend - am I? (Abortion trigger)

[rickandmorts]

I will be brief but 2 years ago was forced into an abortion which I still haven't got over. My very unstable friend has rung me up today crying saying she's just found out she's pregnant. She knows my circumstances. This friend has a lot of issues (has acted very unreasonably to me in the past) but I am kind of all she's got so I've forgiven her.

She's got pregnant to someone she's been sleeping with who has a pregnant girlfriend. She's never used protection with anyone and tbh I'm surprised this hasn't happened sooner.

She wants to come round tonight but I don't want to see her. She wants to discuss her options but the thought of talking about abortion is making me feel sick and shaky and I just want to cry because it's bringing it back. Am I being a shit friend? I don't feel like I can support her in this but feel like I should be.

No, of course you're not, OP. You can and should prioritise your own mental health here, and your own understandable fragility on this issue means that you simply aren't capable of being a support to someone who needs someone in a stronger place. Explain briefly that while you feel for her, and are as much her friend as ever, she is going to need to seek support and advice elsewhere on this specific issue.

Absolutely not. Your own wellbeing is priority here.

You don't need to set yourself on fire in order to keep your friend warm.

It's no good for your MH so don't do it.

As well as that, you'd give terrible advice. Because you were put in an awful position and won't be able to be impartial. So you wouldn't be doing her any favours anyway.

Please look after yourself

Agree with previous posters. You need to protect your own mental health here, and maybe you should seek some help with that given your feelings.
As far as supporting your friend, just saying “You need to get some professional advice here, I can’t help you with that” will have to be enough.

You’re not a bad friend, you just can’t support her through this. She should understand since she knows what you’ve been through.

You're not a bad friend.

I supported a friend through two abortions while I was TTC and it was really rough, I should have taken a step back and supported in a different way.

Oh op .

You're not being a bad friend at all. Your my matters.

*Your mh

Thank you for your replies, I feel a little bit better. I'm honestly not being dramatic, I haven't been able to eat today (she told me first thing this morning) and I feel very shaky and anxious. I'm angry at her too, I can't believe she's done this and I feel so sorry for the pregnant girlfriend who has no idea .

You're not a bad friend, I think the best thing to say would be that you support her whatever she chooses to do but you simply can't talk about any details with her because it's too upsetting