I really feel like the cleaner/cook/chauffeur/nanny

[HampshireMummyof2]

Live with dp, ds9 and ds3. I do 99% of housework, including all washing, loading/unloading dishwasher and cooking. I give dp lifts to various places for his work and social. (Sometimes on route to and from where i am going so not always out of the way). When i pick him up i pretty much have to wait for him, ( even though he know what time i am picking him up and i text him to tell him i am on way). I do bedtime, baths etc. Do boys social activities and clubs. He can be out most evenings or in for loads. I dont know from one day to next. I get no me time to unwind or think and i just feel like i run around after everybody and no one gives a hoot about me 😞. I know the boys are young so cant do anything and my eldest does try bless him.
Ahhhhhh sorry long post. Rant over

Stop being a martyr.
You don't have 3 dc..

Sadly I don't think you're that unusual op.
Your dh has some life, hasn't he?

Get your boys to start doing a few easy chores. Sorting, loading and folding washing is a good place to start. Maybe start giving your husband easy chores to do each week too. Sometimes we just get on with it because we can see what needs to be done but if you allocate jobs and ask for help things might start to change. Worth a try.

Why do you give dp lifts? Can't he drive or is he getting drunk?

If you act like a doormat you'll get treated like one.

More fool you, sorry. Your partner sounds like an absolute bell end and you are allowing him to treat you like a skivvy.

He knows that he has it easy with me. He is very stressed with work and money ( self employed) so i try and help and give him time to relax etc. He does know what i do for him and says he is so lucky but i am so tired of giving all the time. I am nearly empty 😞

Can your dp not drive? That would drive me mad (no pun intended).

I am the sort of person who would help anyone even if it puts me out. I dont like arguments and i suppose i do it all for an easy life 😂

It's not setting a very good example to your boys, you may be willing to accept to being treated like that but you should be more mindful about the impact your relationship will have on your children. I find it very difficult to empathise in situations like this, it's on you to change it, being a martyr is unpleasant for you, but destructive to your children, to sound dramatic. Do you want them to grow up thinking a woman should run around after them?

i do it all for an easy life

How's that working out for you, is your life easy?

Also why is your DP fine with you being so stressed and overwhelmed?

It all sounds shit tbh and I'm not sure why you've chosen this life for yourself.

Time to make some changes OP! Your DP needs to be pulling his weight a bit more.

I think you need to let him know that while you understand and appreciate how hard he is working and how stressed he is, you are working hard and stressed too, and that you are running on empty. Bottom line, he needs to do more. Believe me, it's amazing how robust and resilient people are, when they have to be. Helping load the dishwasher, putting a load of washing on and out, getting public transport - he'll be amazed what he can do without suffering a breakdown, if he tries it.

I do know what you are all saying and i would be saying the same thing to someone else. I know i need to have a big chat and let him know just how bad i feel, i just need to find the mental energy to do it. Thank you to everyone. I have no friends to vent to and need a kick up the arse to change so thank you to everyone.

Remember to be kind to yourself as well, it's OK anonymous posters telling you what to do it's another thing living it.
Good luck having a chat with your dp.

Thanks. X. (I should have said that for hid job he drops of and picks up cars so the lifts are to drop him off or pick him up after he has left a car. Sorry)