To people with grown up kids, do you suddenly have more money once tour children are grown up ?

[LardLizard]

What’s it like ?

The only difference we noticed was probably food as pretty much all the other day to day expenses remain the same.

Our DS left home when he did his PGCE following university and became financially independent. He rented a flat and then another when he got his first job. He is very good with managing his money (as a teacher he has to be!) and never asks for anything. As we don't see him every week when we do see him we like to treat him, paying for clothes, paying towards his car insurance, flights etc.

we paid for both of them through uni and have been able to lend small sums as they settled into jobs / flats etc and I tend to really spoil them at xmas but yes loads cheaper. really noticed when ds2 came home for a few months before going travelling, the food bill massively increased, he did have a job and paid his 'keep' though. we pay into a lifetime isa for each of them as a deposit for their first homes, its the one the government also contribute to so they will have a bit towards a deposit when the time comes. It is only until I give up work then it all stops, they both know this and have been so grateful for the bits of help they have had and their extravagant xmas's but as they point out ' we are adults now Mum and can do this ourselves' (22 and 26)

We’ll definitely be better off when they graduate but until then, we’re poorer than ever! DC1s uni fees are currently an eye watering $58k a year and we have younger kids about to go.

No house deposits from us. We’re paying their fees so they are debt free when they graduate. They can save up for a house like everyone else.

Yes- once they leave uni. It’s not the tuition fees that’s a loan, it’s not paid up front. It’s the fact that the maintenance loan is means tested so when both parents work, it’s likely the kids get a crappy amount, no where near enough to pay rent never mind food, books, bills. So you end up forking out hundreds a month just to put them on a level playing field with students who get the full maintenance loan. When you have 2 or 3 kids simultaneously at uni it’s a big hit... it felt a bit like a return to the early childcare nursery fees!

On the upside, I’m super glad I did keep my career going (even though it meant our kids got minimum loans) as now our kids are through uni we’ve got the advantage of two good incomes and pensions. Plus of course our children don’t have the level of debt some students do

Yes we have been shelling out to put our lot through uni, topping up the minimum loan to the tune of £4500 a year. Gave them a £1000 on graduating to put towards first rent etc. Helped out with stuff like car repairs that they hadn't had long enough working to save up for.

My eldest two are 25 and 23 now and fully financially independent, renting flats and running cars. We are going to give them house deposits when the time comes.

I have two DC's 22 and 24 both finished uni.
In theory DH and I should have more money as our mortgage is paid off and we both work full time.

However once they leave uni they need a deposit for a flat, then a car to travel to work. Eventually they hope to buy their own places so we are saving to help them with a deposit. After that I assume there may be weddings/children so I expect we will help them out there.

So in theory the answer to your question should be yes, but in practice its actually no.

No, their needs become more expensive - and we’ve only had ONE wedding so far!

I have to admit I really don't know how student loans work exactly, in terms of who is entitled to what. My DS lived at home during Uni as we live in London and his uni was only 10 minutes away so would have been ridiculous to move out. He did get maintenance loans but he got 3k a term which was plenty. I have a decent job but it is just me, so maybe it was because I was a single parent, I don't know. I didn't charge him rent but he needed to buy his own food (and cook it!) And pay a small bill contribution. I read a huge percentage of people will never pay back the full student loan. So even if I had the money to pay all the fees etc saved up I'd rather have set it aside for a deposit or whatever. Not that I did! Of course it would be lovely if I could help my DC more, but I came from a really deprived background and I know I already gave my DC a million times better start than I had. So I figure by the next generation it will improve again! It's a work in progress!

DD is in reception now. Already felt so much better off since a year and a half ago when she got the 30 hours free childcare and then started school!

See I don’t understand posts like this we like to treat him, paying for clothes, paying towards his car insurance, flights etc. these are adult expenses which your adult child who has a professional job should be covering. Aren’t they embarrassed to be milking the bank of mum and dad? I would be! If my mum offered to pay my car tax I’d be very confused and assume she thought I was shit with money. I’m less that 10 years older than the adult children on this thread!

Up until this month I was sending my middle boy £2-300 a month. He’s in a good job, but the rental is incredibly expensive, compared to here. He’s finally on his feet now and all being well, that’s the end of that. My oldest has just moved into a rental and I’ll be helping him furnish it and giving him the occasional bit of money until he’s properly on his feet. He has additional difficulties so will need a bit longer to stand on his own two feet. My youngest has SN so will never move out. I’m hoping that in a year I’ll see a difference.

I'm a bit surprised by some of these replies. Surely an NQT doesn't need a salary top up? Or a £2-300 top up to someone in a good job? I think it does young adults a lot of good to learn to budget.

DD1 is in her first job in Manchester. She pays £400 for her rent and bills, (small room in half decent flat), puts £100 or so petrol in her car and allows herself £600 for everything else, which tends to boil down to £30 for food, £60 for going out and £60 to splurge. She saves the rest of her salary.

DS1 is in a grad job in London on £27k. He pays a whopping £770 for his rent and bills, (again small room, half decent house). I know he budgets carefully and struggles to save.

Neither would dream of taking an allowance off us.

It's pretty obvious that when your kids grow up, leave home, finish their education and become financially independent that you're going to be better off isn't it? As this also often coincides with paying off the mortgage, probably still working and maybe inheriting cash or property then it can mean loads better off. Then you have the freedom to decide to help out if you want to but I wouldn't equate that to the earlier years of being hard up supporting a family, maybe only on one full time income, childcare costs, massive food bills, holidays for five etc. As to what it's like, it's great.

They are not my birth children and know what it’s like to live a hard life. I have also had a a hard life and wish for them to have a better start into adulthood. The boys both have difficulties and need that bit more extra support and guidance. Far from making them feel entitled, it has made them appreciate kindness and generosity and they treat others in the same way. I think each parent makes the financial decisions for various reasons. I’ve just given them the extra help they needed until he was on their feet.

I'm a bit surprised by some of these replies. Surely an NQT doesn't need a salary top up?

Salary of £23700/year. Rent nearly £900/month. Petrol to and from work £200/month. Car insurance £70/month After stoppages and pension it doesn't leave much to live on.

But where on earth are they living Weet to pay £900 a month rent? And so much petrol too! My DS is in zone 2 paying £770 and cycling to work. Surely if your son is in London, teachers get a London weighting?

I know I needed my parents financial support until after uni. Since then it's been appreciated but not expected, they have their own outgoings and expenses to worry about. So with that in mind I'm thinking after uni we'll have more money for our own things. Would love to be able to help my kids through studies, help with buying a house and getting a driving license.

Jesus, wtf? Go ahead and pay for house deposits, weddings, clothing and debts if you like but don't pretend that shit is necessary.

It's pretty obvious that when your kids grow up, leave home, finish their education and become financially independent that you're going to be better off isn't it?

You'd think.

Yes I'm much better off. I don't bail my children out or give them hand outs. They were brought up to be independent. They worked from 6th form right through university and they both earn more money than I'll ever earn. They both own houses. Worth pointing out that I was poor growing up, got nothing from my now deceased parents, no inheritance so maybe that's why I think when you're a grown up you stand on your own two feet.

I'll be worse off because we will lose tax credits and child benefit. But as that money is spent directly on the children I'm hoping we'll break even. I do work full time, so am thankful to still have an income in the house when the child related benefits stop.

It will happen eventually. But atm dd is doing a course which is not eligible for university loans and ds is repeating a year of Sixth form. They are not at all entitled, they don't ask for things, but there are expenses. You can live very cheaply with a small child by eating boring food and buying all their stuff in the charity shop but you can't expect a 20yo to get a job by only travelling halfway to the job interview.

There is no way I would give up my pension to give them a house deposit though: that is just piling guilt of them and ensuring that they end up paying for my old age.

No, I just spend it on my gd. You never lose the need to treat your kids however old they get.
I find now it's more practical things rather than treats though, things like nappies and clothes. I never go empty handed, even though they are very capable and can afford to pay themselves.

I didn't pay for anything like deposit for house, uni, they started work at 16 and when their tc and cb stopped, there were no handouts, except the odd hamper, the odd £20 here and there, but nothing regular.
They need to know how to manage themselves, so start young about 13 with skills for life and they won't go wrong.

Yes I have a lot more money
But I generally pay for his car insurance each year as it falls close to his birthday so this years probabably £700
Normally do a two week holiday somewhere that I pay for so that’s a couple of thousand pounds
But he pays for his own food and clothes car petrol. As he works full time but lives at home rent free
Occasionally i bung him £20 -£50 If he is going away for the weekend
I don’t mind though as I only have the one DS and even though he will be 25 this year I like to treat him

I also bought and insured his first car for him
He’s my son and I like to treat him to stuff now and then and I can afford to do without getting into debt
Let’s face it most people aren’t going to say no if someone’s offers you a fully paid for holiday to New York and Vegas for two weeks and all you have to bring is spending money
Or offer to pay your car insurance for you
I certainly wouldn’t say no if it was being offered to me