Dragging my DH kicking and screaming into the 21st century

[ManicGirl]

My DH is a total techno phobe. Has a smart phone but doesn't use any apps. Fears internet banking. I set up our tv and I control all our online stuff. I have to help him if any gigs or events have downloadable tickets or QR codes. I'm no expert but you get the idea.
My issue is that our DD8 is getting more curious about tech. She wants a tablet, her friend has a phone, she's talked about online gaming. DH's attitude is to refuse everything as 'she's too young' and not want her spending time with her friend who has the phone. He simply won't understand that technology is a key part of her life and he should make an effort to understand it.
I really want his support but he just assumes everything is putting her at risk and won't discuss it.

He shouldn't allow his phobia/ignorance to impact his DD. Why does he think he can overrule you when he doesn't even understand it?

There are some really good online resources, so sit with your DD and DH and go through some safety rules. Do things together to start with, see if his attitude will change.

www.nspcc.org.uk/preventing-abuse/keeping-children-safe/online-safety/

www.safetynetkids.org.uk/personal-safety/staying-safe-online/

How is he going to cope when she is a teenager and starts going out and dating?

Are you my DH's secret second wife? I really can't understand how utterly helpless he is around tech, particularly given that he's really very knowledgeable about mechanics, e.g. car engines. It's not just computers either. We have one of those oil-filled heaters, and he simply cannot get into his head how to turn it off because you have to hold the switch in for a couple of seconds to wait for the little light to go off. He also regularly accuses me of having left it on at night time just because it happens to be hot when he walks past: I can tell him till I'm blue in the face that it inevitably take some time to cool down, it just never sinks in.

You're absolutely right, your DH is doing your DD no favours by trying to shield her from technology. Tell her to ignore him.

My ex-DH is far less technology astute than I am. He is slightly better now with his new girlfriend however (finally got Netflix).

I think it’s important even if you don’t use the technology yourself to understand it from a safety point of view.

DD7 is curious like all kids. So much of their education includes tech now. They frequently make and edit videos at school sometimes using a green-screen. As we used to have to practice our presentation and writing skills on posters, in plays and organising and presenting assemblies.

Thankfully my job involves quite a bit of digital stuff so I can help and guide her and we often have fun together making little videos. I also think that it’s good that girls in particular are encouraged to use tech. It isn’t just for boys!

We also talk about how I use social media and what I do and don’t post.

It’s an important part of parenting. You are doing your children a disservice if you stick your head in the sand.

Basically what I’m saying is you are right and your DH still so wrong!

Hello Mrs Rees-Mogg and welcome to MN!!!

@ForalltheSaints wins award for post of the day

My DH was the same, till he lost two jobs because while he was fully qualified and had 20+ years experience in the field, he just couldn’t cope with the new IT systems. We once had a huge row on holiday because I used the free WiFi, and he could not accept that there wouldn’t be a big mobile phone bill waiting when we got home.

He’s a lot better now, had to be or he’d have never worked in his field again.

Keeping up with technological advances is so important these days. Computers are used for every single aspect of life, and it’s only going to get worse (or better, depends on on your view point). By getting left behind he’s not only doing your DC a disservice, but himself as well. By the time he retires he’ll have no option but to use computers to access everything from healthcare, to buying food. He needs to wake up, fast.

I think im the same. All the apps on my phone seem to have been put on by my children. I have no clue how to connect gadgets to the tv, dont have a digital box and still struggle to understand what they do exactly. I can check my bank online and but stuff online. I went to collect my train tickets from a machine at the station and someone asked why i didnt just use the scan option on my phone. I didnt know you could, didnt know how, would i need to be connected to the internet to pass through the barriers.... printing seemed easier somehow. I dont know if its a fear for me or a lack of interest.

Starting to think my DH is a bigamist. He’s a total Luddite.

I had to set his smart phone up for him.

He does realise that your DD will be using tablets and computers at school as part of the curriculum?
Can you start with explaining she needs it for educational purposes? DS homework over Xmas (he's also 8) was to upload photos onto the class page.

My dh’s family are like this - use smartphones etc but are total luddites when it comes to anything online.

i.e. MIL was still writing cheques until she was forced to use a debit card as fewer places accepted cheques.

Conversely my gran was waving her debit card around like Dumbledore magically buying groceries at the same time.

I'm loving these bigamist accusations
Reassuring to hear that I'm not the only one and @ForalltheSaints I am definitely not Mrs Rees-Mogg!!

Thank you for the advice. Yes, DD already gets homework online. DH couldn't even get into the school play because they'd used eventbrite and he didn't have a clue what to do. He had to sweet talk a teacher!

I thought all this would force him to learn but it's just put him off. I'm going to watch some of these tutorials with him so I can help him realise just how naive he's being.

Its the digital age and children like yours are growing up right in the middle of it. He needs to get a grip.

The astonishment of some clients at work over what I can do on the computers makes me chuckle sometimes.