I think I just got dumped

[surlycurly]

Just that really. I'm having a cry. I've never been dumped before.

Thanks. Mumsnet strikes again.

I'm sorry this is happening. I'm here to chat with you (hand hold)

Do you want to talk about it?

Aw thank you! I'm genuinely quite gutted. Only been a couple of months but it was all going well. My birthday yesterday; all amazing. Today... nothing. Had a conversation about it and he chucked me! Tried to back track but I think it's a fait accompli. 😢

He tried to back track, not me. Think it was too deep for him and he bottled it.

What reason did he give?

Aww bless you. I'm sorry your sad. Have a good cry it will make you feel better. What were his reasons for ending things?

That’s rotten. Have a wee hug x

I knew today that he was being off. Left him too it. Spoke to him tonight and he was super weird. Said I was clearly annoyed because he hadn't been in touch. Tried to assert that I was being needy. I said I was ok with him not being in touch but thought he was being a bit much with the out of the blue needy accusations. (It's been very intense from the off). He said he wanted to calm it off so said I understood that it was too much and was cool with that. He then said it was ok after all and we should find a happy medium. I told him it was probably best that we left it. I think that he was freaked out as he met me very quickly after his last relationship. But clearly I did that self preservation thing where I pretended it was cool when it wasn't. I feel 14

And thank you for the hugs. All very childish I know. But he was a cracker.

Really do not want to make you feel any worse but if you said just leave it then you dumped him? Intense relationships are crushing when your in that crazy lust phase, don't beat yourself up over it, it may not be all lost x

Don't you think he sounds a touch manipulative reading that back? Being off with you then trying to turn it around on you.

I know it feels shit right now, but if he doesn't like you asserting your own mind rather than accepting his version of reality maybe he's not such a cracker.

Both fair points folks. I only turned it round at the end to salvage some dignity. I know he's not ready for this. I think he's been swept along despite his better judgement because he likes me as much as he does. But now he's had a huge crash and is calling it off. It's just a massive contrast after lovely presents and a great date (and some amazing sex) the night before. Too may feelings I suspect.

He sounds spineless and immature. Cracker my arse, give it a few days and you'll probably realise he was in fact a bellend after all.

Maybe I'm being blinded by all the sparkly bits. It's early days so perhaps the veneer is just that. He definitely made me feel like I was the problem tonight when it was his behaviour hat had changed. Not fair and not how I want to live so it's probably for the best. Just such a total volte face from before.

This one will be back on a few days or weeks and if you take him back it will set the scene for the future of your relationship ie loads of angst, ups and downs, fear of being dumped again and constant head strokes and there theres for him when it all gets a bit much. Sounds like it's for the best.

It was a total head fuck tonight how he Went from 'its finished' to 'we need to clam things down' to 'let's find a middle ground'. I didn't fancy any of those options to be honest. And I have felt worried about his readiness before. It's a shame though; he's great company. And handsome. And he totally fussed over me. Maybe to the point where it felt too smooth actually.

He sounds messed up and like he doesn't know himself and what he wants. That would impact you and affect your wellbeing if you were in a long term relationship with this guy. I'd take from this that he has let you know he's not sorted enough to be a good partner. You'll be better off with someone who doesn't act off with you and blame their feelings on you when as you say they're the one who's changed. Your instincts are sound that letting him backtrack isn't in your own best interests.

Thank you! My gut said call it off/ let him go. My wee heart says I'm going to miss him! I'll get over it but I'm just a bit crushed.

I get you it's gutting when it doesn't work out. You need some fun things to look forward to and lots of pampering and time with friends.

And I had a massive argument with my ex husband about moving weekends to line up with him. Very annoying. We had nice plans

And I've seen him back on a dating site tonight using the profile he supposedly deleted. Think I've had a lucky escape here.

He wasted no time, you are well rid.

Oh dear that speaks volumes. What a twat. You’re well rid

Thanks all. Still a bit flat but I'm glad it's happened now and not when I had actual feelings